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Why Men Cry in the Bathroom

For so many reasons.
I will tell you the why.
I think you know,
Or perhaps, you think you know.

Men are always O.K.,
Even when not.

We expect the worse,
Accept the worse,
Nonetheless,
We are forever unprepared.

Wearily, we cry,
In the bathroom, in private,
Lest sighs slip by,
We be unmasked,
Early warring, strife signs warning.

Copious, tho we weep
Before the mirror confessor,
It is relief untethered,
Unbinding of the feet,
An uncounting
Of beaded rosaries,
Of freshly fallen hail stones,
Of night times terrors
By dawn's early edition's light,
and welcomed.

But look for the mute tear,
The eye-cornered drop,
*** tat, that never drops,
But never ceases formation and
Reforming, over and over again,
In a state of perpetuity of reconstitution,

The tippy tear of an iceberg revealing,
And I see you peeping, wondering,
What is beneath


Look for:
the torn worm-eaten edges of spirit,
thrift shop bought, extra worn,
grieving lines neath the eyes,
where the salt has evaporated,
discolored the skin.
worry lines,
under and above,
browed mapped, furrowed boundaries.
the laugh line saga,
where better days are stored,
recalled, as well as recanted,
publicly, privately.

Why just men?

I don't know,
Perhaps,
it is all I know.


Jan 6, 2013
your effusive and lengthy comments are each a poem in their own right.  

Tinkered with June 22, 2013
With a push from Bala,
A serial peeper, thank God!
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
y'ay'a
perhaps being told
“you are not alone,” is the
scariest of all
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Chloe
Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.
DISCLAIMER: This is only from my personal point of view and how my battle with depression has been. Even though I am trying to recover, the battle gets very difficult for me sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am not my mental illness. My mental illness does not define me.
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Lu
I'm getting lost in a sand storm
of bad decisions
and bad ideas
...
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
XyL0S
Stop
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
XyL0S
.

Would you Only
Stop,
Pause,
Wait,
Till I can reach out,
If you can't
Turn back to me?

I know
Love,
All the effort
Won't be mine.

.
Don't ask me if he did.
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Tess
We are made up of stardust
Or so they say

I look down at my hands
And see they are glittering

Is it glitter?
But no, It' not coming off

Shining radiantly
Almost as if It's a dream

But It's not possible
My mind says so

But the voice in my head
Tells me

To stop for a while
And let my imagination run wild.
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Tess
When I tell people that I used to self harm,
They ask to look at my scars.

They examine my arm,
Like I'm an artifact at a museum

They pretend to understand
But they never will

They will never know,
The true history behind this artifact.

They will never understand It's worth,
Until one day,

It's stolen.
Snatched away from this world forever.
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