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In our darkest moments
Our minds are a glow of creativity...
 Nov 2018 Ashly Kocher
ok okay
B l e e d
o           r
r            e
e           a
D o o m

L o v e
o
N o t e
e
R e a d

          S
       h   c
     i        r
   v  a  n  e
  e             a
r                m    

A n x i e t y
          g
          n
          o
          r
          e
   ­       d

h                t        
u                o
r                 r
t h o u g h t              
i                 u
n                r
g                e
It isn't perfect but i can work on it
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Gods1son
To be alive
Is a big win
That eventually opens the door
To other smaller and bigger wins
It all depends on the perspective!
If there is life, anything is possible... Any door can still open.
 Oct 2018 Ashly Kocher
Gods1son
I know for sure
My perception of love has changed
Ever since you came into my life
You are a different type of being

You are indeed a bomb
You have broken the walls I built around myself for years
My resistance to love is gone
You melted all my fears

I feel recreated
I can say I am truly liberated
Just because of you
I feel like a new being!
Why
I'm tired of telling the millionth person
the same story of how love died
& they pull out a pad and pen
trying to fill in the blank,
cracking the secret formula,
of why it happened:

"You two weren't compatible"

"You need to love yourself more"

"She wasn't the right one for you"

"You weren't the right one for her"

"It was just young love"

"These things just happen"

Everyone has their own perspective on it
& nobody really
listens.

Because I don't need to know why;
if I did I would be stuck in the past,
and trying to fix it.
I'm not.

I just need to know how to keep living
when every time my heart beats
it hurts because the one who I gave it to
is missing from my life

How do I not lose my breath when I think of her?
How do I quit having dreams about her?
How can I move on from losing my best friend because I lost control of my mental health and shut her out?
How does neglect become undone when you are removed from their life?

She was 7 years of happiness in my life; not a long time to many, but remember I am only 23 years old.
I grew into a man with her stitched to my heart.

So please don't try and tell me why it fell apart.
Please just tell her I love her if you see her.
//On her and friends//
I know people want to help, and I'm very grateful for the care so many have for me. It's just insensitive to try and fix someone who is just trying to learn how to move on.
If you really want to know the "why" you'd have to live through it because it is far more complex and nuanced than just filling in a blank like a crossword puzzle.

•Emotional•
•Messes•
•Of•
•☻Smiles☻•

Fake Smiles...
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