Take away distraction
Remove all the fear and lies
And perhaps I'll see
The person deep inside me
Who has always been right there.

O
Tell
Me
The
Words
And
Speak
Them
I
Shall

Whyever can nobody spell anymore?
It's starting to cause me concern:
For as long as I wait,
                                   as far as I go,
It's the one thing that no one has learned.


How can it be that the grammar
Of the world is on sharp decline?
The words that they say,
                                          the sentences short
Grind sensitive ears and mind.


I know that I slip into lapses, too
Where I no longer care for perfection;
I say "runned" and use "i"
                                           where a capital would stand
Though no one's around for correction.

Every time I think of you,
I think, "What a ****."
And then as I think
I can't exactly think of anything specific
that made you a ****,
not something you did,
not really,
and my mind, for a second,
defends you.

But then it all comes back.
The hurtful words.
The all-caps that would have been
shouting.
The exasperation you treated me with
when I just wanted
a hug.

We were so lonely
but we were not alone
and it made it worse
that we were not together.

Crowds are more than I ever thought
they would be.
It hurts remembering things you said
about me
about us
about how we were lying to ourselves
from the beginning
and that what had seemed so pure and beautiful
was soiled and ruined.

Nothing was physically wrong.
We broke no laws.
But I gave you my heart
more than I should have
and no contract kept you from throwing it
away.
It stings when I recall it.

So whoever you catch in your net,
whoever you drag down the hallways
of your house,
I hope they give you more than you bargained for
I hope you feel the hurt I felt
that you never sensed
because you were over me before I even knew we were over
I hope the next girl you meet doesn't need you
like I did
like I still feel like I do.

I hope you know that you are dangerous
and that you need to be careful
because you're a bomb
that looks so harmless
you're poison
that looks like fruit
you're the death that no one should ever have to feel
when they're alive

You're not what any longing girl needs.
So be careful.
Guard your heart.
Or you'll wish you'd learned the first time
when I find out
what you've done.

I will leave you alone
because my only words to you are bitter
from long hours spent in regret
bitter from days spent in depression
bitter from months of wishing you weren't there
that you were someone else
in someone else's life
and that I'd never known you.

But I never would have learned so many valuable lessons
that I've learned such a hard way.

"Leave Me Alone" is about the most-used phrase in my head
these days.
I sing it when I am alone
I whisper it under my breath as I walk from one crowded room to the next
I mutter it as I sink into my seat
So.
Leave me alone.
You've done your damage
you don't want to stick around to see how much you've messed me up
so don't.

Just go.

You're better off anywhere else
besides listening to me
rambling here
about things you will never read
and feelings I will never share
with you.


*We are worse than strangers, for we shall never be friends.

It's longing that's here
Deep inside me lies a hurt
That yearns to be healed.

I go to tell you all, goodnight
I'll rise and greet the morning
But 'fore I do, I now must rest
For my soul's continued restoring.

Let the light shine over you
Don't stand there in the dark
Embrace the warmth around you
It began with just one spark.

Leave the night behind you
Don't let it grab ahold
Of all the dreams that lift you
And make you strong and bold.

Love the bright, bright sunlight
It's there to give you hope
Maybe the world's not all right
But life's brighter in this scope.

The world is so big,
never thought it could hold so much
So many places to go,
but I never find my way home

Maybe I'm too picky-choosy
thinking nothing's good enough
Maybe I'm too prideful
or foolish to know that

Your love is my home
Your hands hold my reality
Your peace is my resting place,
                  nothing could replace
The home I have in You.

Even though I was lost
so caught up in my own world
You held my hand
and I knew it was always Your plan.

Your love is my home
Your hands hold my reality
Your peace is my resting place,
                       nothing could replace
The home I have in You.

I'm slowly realizing
slowly figuring out
That all my days of hiding
You were what life was about.

I'm taking responsibility
for the life You've called to own
For the only way I can make it
is to acknowledge Your love is home.

My oceans froze over
All my skies grew dark
But Your life sparked a fire
And Your hope warmed my heart.

My fears crushed me
until
You crushed all my fears.

The closer I became
The further I fell away
And the harder I began to fall  
The further I was from it all.

So I came back to the sea
It's always had a hold on me
You drew me closer to You
As the tide pulled, I was too

The forests were drowning in shade
I knew they couldn't hide me anyway
The sky was everywhere
When I plumbed the depths, You were there.

Even if I should flee this world
I couldn't slip from Your grasp, Lord
Even when the oceans roar
I hear Your call more.

No longer are you running from yourself
For yourself is someone else.

Hide your disappointment
Lock it all away
Wait until it burns you down
Or sets in, here to stay.

Never show your weakness,
Tuck it deep inside
Keep it out of sight and mind
Until your thoughts collide.

Cloak your heart's desire
Don't let wishes in
The drive that takes you onward
Will never let you win.

These lies fire the defeated
They goad the aimless on
And if you listen to them
You'll soon be good as gone.

When you're walking down the loneliest road
And bad weather is before you
Don't forget that even in the hard times
Your Creator walks right beside you.

God, are you there?

Can you hear my call?

God, do you care?

Do you care at all?


I know You said You'd always be

The guiding light in front of me

But lately, I've been flying blind

Too scared to even look behind


God, do you see me here?

Can you feel my need?

God, are you ever near?

You're never close, it seems.


God, I know you said you'd be

Always here right next to me

But I am human, this I know

My infant faith, it just slowly grows.


God, if you're there

Can you keep me safe?

And God, if you care

Can you ease my daily pain?

Miah is the girl I was:
And in a way I envy her.
She only felt artificial pain
That the character creator gave her.

Ben is the one who was my friend,
But who showed his true colors later
When I needed him most, he left me alone
As a character, he was barely even hated.

Connor, well, his story's not told
While I'm still reeling from his counterpart's words
I plan to write it soon, and then
I will spare her no allegorical hurt.

Apples.












-my brother

Pine trees have it right
Just point to God in all things,
Give Him the glory
That's what I was made to do:
Human nature makes it hard.

Life is a segway
If you let God handle it
It balances out.

Life is a highway
And I am a passenger
I could ride with you
Or go drive out on own
Wherever my wheels take me.

Sure, you can take these words and phrases
You can take me wrong
But nothing phases me no more,
I'm stuck inside this song

That whosoever wants me dead,
Well, they can go and try
But I'm held captive by the One
Who holds their very lives.

I stand steadfast, even if I fall
I know He's always with me
So there, there's nothing you can do
That from His love can separate me.

He told me once, and I'll never forget
"If it's a guilt trip you need, then take it
But don't drag me in, as if it's the end,
And remember that life's what you make it."

I've broken that rule, oh, so many times
I've bent and abused it, too
But as long as I remember that I need His help
He loves me, and He's who I come back to.

That's life

Up
All
Night

Wasting away inside

Deep
Deep
Sigh

Wanting to run and hide

Worlds
Collide

As far as I can find

They
All
Lied

At least I even tried

But nothing seems right

'Cause I'm

Up
All
Night.

It's easy to hurt
When all I think of is you
And you aren't mine.

.
     Lord, help my unbelief
     Lord, help me to see
The way You're holding me
     Lord, take away my pride
     Lord, please use my life
To be Your shining light.

     God, I'm trying to be
     Just what you want of me
But it's Your grace I need
     God, I'm striving so hard
     To stop worrying, and start
Letting You be who You are.

     Father, I want to come home
     Father, yes, I know
You'll never leave me on my own
     Father, help me understand
     That Your great plan
Has meaning, and will firmly stand.

I write from the bowels of Wish I Could Sleep
Which borders the swamp of Too Tall
Which was named for the bed that was somehow too short
Where the Sleeper couldn't stretch out at all.

I call, at this very late hour, to say
That tomorrow I'd better not forget
The car's in the shop, the WiFi's down,
And though my new book wasn't great

I can write without car and internet, too
I am capable of this
But if anyone from Luxury calls
Just tell them to talk to the fist!

I love the way you're positive
And always lift me up
I cannot seem to comprehend
The way you're full of love.

I thought we all had our bad days
But you push though all of yours
You smile in so many ways
I love how your hope endures.

You're the best inspiration
That I've met in a long while
So many in your position
Saw joy as out of style.

I'm glad when I'm around you
You mean so much to me—
Everyone would say the same, too
That you're amazing, Bree.

One comfort that I find
Is that when there is no music in my ears,
                                               or in the air,
There is always music
                                     in my heart.

.
     Hello, my friend
     You've walked so long
Though you have far to go;
     Take refuge here,
     Just sleep and rest:
You look tireder than you show.

     Come in, my friend
     I've worn those shoes,
And walked down many a road;
     If you come inside
     And sit awhile,
You may leave with lesser a load.

Goodnight all, I'm done
I will see you at sunrise
Or somewhere in there.

The sun rises hot
Shining into my small space
I wish I had drapes.

I was going to write a poem
But I got lost
And when music captures you
It doesn't want to let you go.

First one awake, now how do you feel
For falling asleep so late?
You should have known,
                     when you're on your own
Up first is a permanent state.

That awkward moment
Where someone walks up and goes
'Why, hello stranger!'

This is the end of 'tomorrow's
And 'maybe's and 'sorta's and 'shrugs'
This is the end of beginnings
That never amount to His love

This is the end of the water
That's lukewarm, not cold and not hot
This is the end of just saying
That we'd rather just sit here and rot.

This is the end of your sorrows
That are given more attention and care
Than the unmourned deaths of the millions
Who die without knowing He's there.

This is the end of the judgement
We all so readily give
To those who just needed a Savior
And who now don't see why they should live.

This is the end of the 'nervous'
Where you don't speak 'cause you're afraid
This is the start of your courage
Where you stand up 'cause you're not ashamed.

Shin splints are painful
And they also feel heavy
Don't ask how I know.

If my physical wellbeing is any kind of indicator
I'd say that I'm wibbly-wobbly, piney-whiney.

Life ***** like a sponge
When you just can't get it right
And you miss Happy Hour at Sonic.

My love is moonlight
Because it's not only dark,
But illumimates.

My love is music
Because it's both personal
And vulnerable.

My love is a tree
Because it grows back slowly
And slower each time.

My love is home
Because if you leave it, still
It stays there for you.

My love's a haiku
Because it has its limits
But depth speaks much more.

Heaven and hell
Aren't as far
As you are from me.

That's how I feel about us
When I haven't met you yet
And you're a mystery to a troubled mind.

A black hole is more unknown
Than you are to me
Because I haven't even seen your face.

Maybe if these dreams would be consistent
I'd think God was giving me a hint
But not even your haircolor is the same.

I want to believe that you are alive somewhere
Walking this earth, thinking of me
But my imagination ***** when it comes to you.

There's fear, hesitation, and anxious expectation
For the day I see you
I'm already suffering from your love's sickness.

If you are anything like what I want
I won't want that--
Only what God wants for me could be anything near perfect.

The sound of a heart breaking
Is louder than the headphones make your music
Louder than the siren alarm of a fire
Louder than the scream of the executed mind
Louder than the engines on the takeoff to the bloodred sky

But it is misunderstood
Simply because you are the only soul
Who can hear your heartbreak.

I don't do drugs
I don't hate on those who do
I just sincerely believe
That I would be happier without an addiction new.

Cheese should have four e's
Bacon should be spelled bakin'
And popcorn...it's fine.

The beginning was suspenceful
The middle was too
But in the end, I saw
The story was all about you.

I couldn't escape reality
And reality kind of hurt
You were every character, every symbol
The high mountain and desert.

I wanted to run, to hide
But you met me there
I tried drowning in the depths
But it just wasn't fair.

I think the reason for this accost
Lies within my mind
That's where it all began, and someday
It'll be what is behind.

Magic is in the air
When the delight spreads
But even then,
Febreeze doesn't do all it says.

Life is hard, and plus
Haikus are just hard for me
Haikus are life. Wait

I'm not okay,
And that's okay
Because with You,
My future's safe.