Fill the remnants of your broken soul
with trash tv and sad songs so you
don't have to feel the emptiness
that lies where he, his body still warm
from the morning sun, spilled
drink and the secrets of his soul.

Welcome to where you are.
Don’t you see the stars shining above?
Slow down,
Breathe in the space between our lives.
We’ve been here before.
Me living in a future that will never be,
And you, promising to hold me tight
As you say again that you’re my friend.

That night you let loose from salty lips
That you almost kissed me,
With your arm around me,
Our bodies warm to the touch,
Heartbeats in sync,
But something stopped you.
Was it that my brother would step outside
And our secret would be no longer?
Or was it the fear that suddenly I
Wouldn’t be the only one falling from a high?

That same night on the phone
You told me I had nice *****.
Well, at least I have that going for me.
Am I the only one that’s touched you in that way?
Yes! Yes, you’re the only one
The only one who’s given me goose bumps,
Sent shivers down my spine, with just a touch.
Run your fingers down my back.
Kiss my neck,
Nibble my ears,
One more time.
Yes, you’re the only one
Who’s bitten my lips,
Caressed my soft *******,
Made me wish away my life.

Do you know that you could still have me if you wanted?
That you’re still capable of breaking me?
It’s only fear, darling.

Make conversation until it hurts
because you won't let him go.
Exchange your pleasures for pain.
What do life or death matter
when you are surrounded by light?

For days afterward she feels
Numb and diluted; nothing can touch her.
And then a rush of emotion so strong
She's dancing across red rooftops.
Plummeting through the night sky;
Alice chasing her heart down the rabbit hole.
Unafraid of death's sweet oblivion if it means
Forgetting the taste of him. How she comes
Crawling back with just one word.
Manifestation of anger in music:
loud, angry, earth shattering
And finally quiet. Quiet enough
To ease the heaviness of the world.
Words spill out. Questions. Doubts. Apologies.
When the world is spinning alongside
Your head, remember,
You. Me. The world. It was all made to be broken.
Take a sad song and make it better
Because happiness has a violent roar.

I am the daughter of misfortune
And he, the keeper of silence,
hellbent on our own self destruction.
Fly high or plunge into desperation
as the shadows dance with light.

I wrote you another love poem today,
Full of cliches and sap, thicker than honey,
but than I thought; he loves you
and you him, so just be on with it already.
Please, forgive me if I’m too frank.

Would you take a walk with me
through the park and around the lake?
Dreams of a future lie in a purple-trimmed house.
We drink too much (coffee, *****)
while we spill our secrets,
comfortable in our vulnerability.

Stand still. Pretend for a moment
that you’re mine and I’m yours.
This time we’ll take a picture so that
later, when you go and I remain (stuck),
we’ll have something to bridge the miles
between my heart and yours.

In dark riverbeds where eternal thirst flows incessantly
You guard only darkness, my distant friend.
The night wind spins in the sky and sings.
Endowed with broken heart and fatal dreams
My pain is bound in chains, restrained.
I exist only in the cracked, dry stitches
and in the seams of the oldest tree.
Falling forever from skin into my soul
Waiting for death’s sweet song.
Surely, those soft footsteps are hers
come to carry me home, sweet oblivion.

There lives the sweetest ignorance deep inside lies
like a parent giving consolation during a hurricane
because sin is easy on the conscious when nobody believes in heaven or hell.
Grey matter, brains neither black nor white,
gasping for air in a world where we've lost the ability to feel
empathy like novocain, stares and strangers with eyes lacking love
waiting to die young and become raised up like a martyr
instead of living the everyman's life.
Self doubt, the most beautiful of all flowers, like blood from a rose thorn's *****
pumping through bodies. The man and his guitar on the street corner,
dressed in his Sunday best, each note a silent prayer.

Cheap coffee and sad country songs
take her sadness and set it on stage.
She claims Texas is home now.
More than forty years forgotten
because only two matter. He is her home.
Pretend the small talk is natural. Why then,
can’t she look them in the eyes
before she waits alone in empty airports
trying to figure out where she lost herself?
And there’s no one left to have mercy on us.

What if I was fearless?
If I was fearless I would cut you.
Cut you to pieces.
Cut you like the broken glass I am
Cut you out of my life completely.
Make you bleed the same blood
I've spent my life since you trying
To keep from spilling out,
Staining my rose-colored lenses.

But I'm not fearless.
I'm too scared. Too **** afraid.
Afraid that if you don't love me, nobody else will.
One day I'll realize that I'm worthy
And I don't need the praise of a man to know love.
Today though I'm just trying to make it through
Until I can touch the stars and sleep
Without dreaming of all the ways
I'll never fill you up.

You loved me too **** well
So I sacrificed myself, blue mind
And ****** body, up to you completely
In search of a higher place
Above the chaos this love creates.
Don't you worry, this wanderer is lost of her own accord.
Put down your shining armor. Lay down your heavy sword.
The strength of your metal has proven worthy.
Try as you have, you cannot save me
And I don't expect you to.
This fight is mine and blood will be shed.
You were just the body I broke against.
And you held strong for so long. It's time to let go.
Stop your hollow talk and fill these empty hearts.
We must sacrifice ourselves and repent for our sins
Before we can play our redemption song.
My love will not falter.
Brown eyes, will you help me forget?

And now that she’s back
in your life again I find myself
telling you that I’m happy
for you and her and everybody
but we both know I’m not.
I’ll play the part of the fool
while you stand there in the corner
using my heart as a child’s plaything.

Birds sing their morning songs
amidst mountains asleep in the fog
And I find I don’t have the answer
anymore. My heart on my sleeve
and my head spinning in circles.
Would you wake me when you leave?

I was three years out of high school and finally getting
the chance to grow up. I’d been ready since before
graduation day. Everybody in the world was certain
that I would fail. I couldn’t succeed. Thanks for the vote
of confidence. I am proving them wrong. I’m succeeding,
maybe not thriving, but succeeding right before their very eyes.

Success is living on my own. Being able to do every household
chore on my own. Success is getting myself to and from where
I need to be in my broken down, beat up wheelchair. Success
is budgeting my money each month. Success is not getting killed
and ***** on my walk home from work in the dark. Success is
living up to their standards and way of life. Success is faking a smile.

I’ve learned more about life in the last eight months than ever before.
I’ve made mistakes, just like they said I would. What they didn’t count
on was me learning from those mistakes and picking up the pieces.
They told me I wouldn’t last more than a month, six weeks at the most.
I would ***** up, fail miserably, get hurt and hospitalized. Thank you
for the boost of self-esteem. It’s made me tougher than steel.

I may not be the perfect student, skinny blonde *****, award winning
page designer or most eloquent writer. I may not speak Spanish fluently,
have loads of extra cash lying around or a motorized, state of the art
wheelchair. Stop telling me what I need. I don’t need or want any of them.

Success is living how I want to live. Success is a productive day when I want
nothing but hot tea and soft music. Success is having the confidence to ask
for help when I’ve been told I shouldn’t. Success is making friends who can
read through my masquerade. Success is facing the consequences. Success is
found through red ink marks and piles of papers. Success is not letting those
who don’t believe in me get the best of me. Success is sunshine on a cloudy day

The television is on with the football game  
blaring from the speakers with people crowded around
screaming out plays, and insults. Jumping up and down until
the popcorn and beer a spilled and it's time for refills.

The kitchen is a mess. Packed full of chips and dip, pizza and coke.
It’s become a free-for-all. An all-you-can eat buffet.

Candles scent the air and lamps light the way
When you come, you won’t want to leave
Because it feels right. Because it fits.

Lying there in your arms on my bed
without a care in the world. Laying there
and pretending that maybe, for just one minute,
you were mine again and I was yours.

Our hands intertwined and sweet kisses
on the forehead let me know you still care. The way I
tickle your arm and nestle my head in your chest
drives you crazy. The way you wrap your arms around me
and pull me closer; the way you tickle my back makes me
melt while I'm lying in a dreamy,
semiconscious state with you.

What do you miss the most?
Oh god, everything. I miss a lot of things.
I miss the way you smiled at me like I was the only thing
that mattered in the whole wide world.

What do you miss the most?
I miss the connection we had that summer.
Me too. Me too.

If you could change one thing, do something
differently, what would it be?
I would fight like hell to see you more,
spend more time just like this.
How about you?
Hey, that wasn't in the rules.
Since when have I ever followed the rules?
I would kiss you more.

Do you remember our last kiss? I do.
I remember everything about it and it drives
me absolutely crazy.

It was hot outside, really hot, and I had to leave
but your car needed some work before you could
make it home. We said goodbye and I had turned away
to leave before spinning around for one last kiss.
God, that was incredible.

What happened to us?
And please, don't feed me any *******.

We don't even have to say a word.
You lying here with me is enough.