Ты ждешь окончания дня:
служебных часов учет,
как будто бы жизнь твоя
не с ними на вычет идёт.

А где подходящий сезон?
Немного ещё подождать,
мы слякоти марафон,
конечно, не будем считать.

Отнимем из жизни людей,
с которыми не срослось,
и те отпечатки дней,
где рядом быть довелось.

И вычтутся вместе с тем,
надежды, что не сбылись,
за вычетом этих проблем
не складывается жизнь.

Вот место, где был просчет,
простой арифметики сбой:
все то, что на вычет идет —
оказывается мной.

26.10.23

I am stuck in limbo
awaiting tragedy,
as a leaf awaits a gust
to tear it free from its branch.

I am shrouded in stillness;
a blissful peace.
I will look back on these days and think
"I did not know what I had"

Not far from now,
life will twist into a cascade
of irreversible losses.
I can feel it stirring,
an everlasting sorrow,
like the wind kicking leaves at my feet.

I will change forever.

And I'm okay,
To all our demons:
I obey.

When you turned me into prey,
My anger, I had to slay.

We now move in silence,
It's a new kind of nuance.

You taught me fear the hard way,
Through fake smiles,
I announced:
My stay.

Of ***** friends I've had but seven,
Despite my years are ripe;
I hope they're now enjoying Heaven,
Although they're not the type;
Nor, candidly, no more am I,
Though overdue to die.

For looking back I see that they
Were weak and wasteful men;
They loved a sultry jest alway,
And women now and then.
They smoked and gambled, ****** and swore,
--Yet no one was a bore.

'Tis strange I took to lads like these,
On whom the good should frown;
Yet all with poetry would please
To wash his wassail down;
Their temples touched the starry way,
But O what feet of clay!

Well, all are dust, of fame bereft;
They bore a cruel cross,
And I, the canny one, am left,--
Yet as I grieve their loss,
I deem, because they loved me well,
They'll welcome me in Hell.

Theres part of me that doesnt know you.

Theres part of me that knows you.

Theres part of me that wants to know you.

But theres part of me that doesnt want to know you at all.



A bigger part of me.


The biggest part of me.

And over time it's become all of me.
I don't want to know you.

All of me never wants to know you.



Ever again.

but i cant seem to forget you.

m(ending)
                                 you
           a      nd
         i(n)
      me