she plants wounds where comfort should grow
then calls it motherhood
while watching me slowly erode

jealous of my future lover knowing all the love he'll recieve from me.
but will i recieve the same?

baby fever...

everyone wants the baby and not the kid;
i knew i matured when i craved all the stages
when i craved being a mother not just to a baby but to a toddler

a child

a pre-teen

a teenager

a young adult

i crave to be a mother for all of my childs life
showing them the motherly love and affection i currently crave 
but never get.

today marks one year;
a year since i tried to take my life
today i can say with asurety
it gets better
today i can say with asurety
you matter
your worth
every breath.