promise me,
you said,
promise you'll be happy*
and I did,
and I promised to love you
and to breathe without you
and whatever else you needed
to hear
and I kept my promises, I did,
but my god, if missing you
could be measured in tears
I could fill
and refill
every ocean.

i kiss you like you'll leave me,
every time like it's the last time.
you stay with me;
and always spell
"I love you"
with "goodbye".

you used to hum the songs in my head
and only those songs remember us now.

(I wrote you
the same **** love letter over
and over
and over again
and I will keep
writing it)
(until one of us understands)