i.
i think i have a bug bite
for every
kiss that you planted on my
neck ,
arms ,
chest .
ii.
my jaw is set on
vibrate
and your legs are between my legs .
sensative .
i can't speak ,
and i can barely breathe straight ,
but i can feel ..
iii.
pretty .
like i matter .
my body is outside
and inside
and i can see you and me ,
feel you and me .
iv.
lights dance on and i start praying to a god
i don't believe in
that we're not caught and it's not ruined .
and that this isn't a dream .
and that you're real .
vi.
you come over the next morning .
and you smile .
and i smile .
and it starts all over again .
over and over and over and over in my head
on my neck .
on my arms .
on my chest .
in my mouth .
v.**
i love you .

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone. You get used to not expecting phone calls & having nothing to do at night. You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer. The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence. Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with. All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

I could feel it.
When you told me,
I could feel it.
And I felt like I could really smile.

Your name rolls off of my tongue now.
It seems
Normal
For you to be a part of my life.
To be a part of me.

This will last.
I know it will.
Because I believe in our ability
To fight for it.

To let my name roll off of your tongue, too.
Because its natural.
*Right.

I want to sleep with you.

I want to sleep* with you.

Your arms around me,
Our legs dancing the entwine.
My lips on your neck,
And your sigh in my ear.

No ***. In fact,
Fully clothed.
Or mostly.

Just us.

All I want is to say my rhyme
In person.
And kiss your eyes as I do.

"Close your eyes. Left, then right. Goodnight, Starlight."

I dream of your voice constantly.
I can't hear words,
Just your voice.

Just you.

Its hard to find my way.
To realize my mistakes,
My actions' effects.

Everything has an effect.

I always turn to dead ends
And confuse myself more.
Twisting and turning and panicking and...
Breath. Breathe.
I'm thirsty.

I need... Answers.
To my one and only question.

*What should I do?

one misconstrued word  slips,

from his naive yet wise lips

she can feel  hell's heat upon her face

 her  blood pressure rises at a horrible pace,

boiling now;

she wants to be loved but has never known how

heart beats wildly

unsteadily;

she  trembles in a kind of pain

that cannot be pitied or explained

she opens her mouth to scream

but her raw lips can hardly breathe

too consumed in this fury to move

has lost all things to prove

she just sits there,

hunched into an emotionless ball

jaw and fists clenched

knuckles white

her tired neck tight

who ever takes the useless victory

will come home to an empty bed

both will loose it in the end

both will lose a lover,

and a friend

I,
a casualty,
          of the absence of your love
                              of a war with no cause
                                       of a memory now lost