it hurts me to think how hurt the world is now
everyone faces so much challenges, just from dealing with others
it hurts to think that everyone has felt insecure, like crap and **** too
it hurts to know that while i feel bad about myself and jealous of someone else, they might not feel like enough too
it hurts to know people hurt themselves on purpose to deal with the pain others put them through, the pain they put their own selves through sometimes,
it hurts to know it's normal,
it's normal for everyone of us to be hurting so much
yet still go on, live. there is beauty in that, knowing we are surviving.
we are broken but we are healing, slowly.

You can't possibly imagine
the dark thoughts that take me
over when the lights are out.
you can't possibly imagine how
familiar I am with the feeling of
sadness flooding out my eyes,
you can't possibly imagine,
how hurt I am just from being myself and scarring my own heart.

I have had too many words fill my mind,
too many thoughts fill my heart,
and too many tears down my cheeks,
so that I am left with no more ways to
express how much I adore him,
every stupid little thing about him
and yet,
he will never even think about the space I occupy.

for her
I will move on
for her
I will grow
for her,
the happy little girl I once was with eyes full of wonder and a heart full of love.
for the little girl I grew from,
the one I still am inside,
the little girl who only wanted joy.
for her I will be better.

today I looked at my mom and saw the little girl beneath, the little girl just like me, trying to make it through life, pretending to be grown.

A stranger knocks at my door-
I opened it and saw,
Loneliness standing in front of me,
Saying, “Hello, old friend."

I meet and read about girls who are sweet and carefree,
strong and independent, kind, smart, determined,
oblivious and lazy too,
each one unique with their own flaws, each one amazing and every one of them, beautiful in their own way.

I read about girls who are, oh, so, much like me,
women I admire, and women I adore, women who are made to be seen and heard never judged.
but why don't I see myself as my own women?