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Arfah Afaqi Zia Aug 2016
‘Nightmares’, you must’ve heard of them. How in our childhood we would dream about things so ghastly, so terrorizing that it’d make it impossible for us to sleep. But this one’s a totally different story. Not a déjà vu, not a hallucination. It’s true and it’s frightening.
It was last to last year that I had experienced, had it been a dream, would it be better, but it was something more realistic and more appalling that you cannot even imagine.
It was death in its worse form.
I was left clueless after I came back to my consciousness. It was something so dreadfully strange, that I had to hold onto something for support once I was brought back into this mortal world. It felt as if I was in another dimension where only death was accepted. It was amazing how they were so firm with what they were doing. I’m sure you’re thinking who it is that I am talking about?
It was seven in the morning and I was running late for school. In an institution as strict as Army Public, you’re not spared for being late for even a second, but also I had an important lecture today, so being late for that would be a crime. I hastily collected my thoughts and got up, running towards the car parked in the drive way. Baba was dropping me to school today.
All way to school I was lectured about my studies and how I needed to be punctual and a bit responsible. It was my last year and after that I’d be in college. So I really needed to work hard, which I wasn’t very fond of as the word ‘lazy’, defined my state at present.
Having entered the gate, I could see my friends with books in their hands. I was the only one without a book. I had come only with a register, two pens, a marker and two to three books. Who needed to load up so much in their bag, right?
We were about to enter our classes, but it was a group of teachers who stopped us all and diverted our route to the auditorium where two men were waiting to deliver a lecture to us. Quizzically, we were led into the hall and seated quietly.
I don’t remember listening to anything they said and then instantly we were interrupted by footsteps and 8 men in Khaaki’s who barged in. One of the superiors said something and then they started firing.
I quickly got down on my feet and with one last glimpse at their horrendous faces and the sound of my friends screaming I hid myself under some kid’s body.
They were so inhumane and their faces were so full of hate and disgust. I was so scared and I wanted to cry at that very moment, but knowing the trouble it would cause, I quietly lay on the floor, not moving as to direct any attention. It was so heart wrenching watching them shoot my friends. I wanted to go ****** their guns and aim for their heads.
Moments passed and the shooting finally stopped. But it wasn’t over yet. They started roaming in the hall to check who was alive and who wasn’t. I feigned my death, reciting a few verses of Qur’an, silently praying and miraculously, my prayers came out victorious. Allah had saved me from these monsters. I didn’t even flinch with their weight on my legs, which was very excruciating.
I heard them leave and I got up as soon as I got the chance, quickly to see who had survived. Ten of my class mates and one of my teachers stood up. I looked at our conditions and the bodies that lay restless around us. I wished for a potion or something that could bring them back to life. I know how ludicrous my thoughts may seem, but this is what I really wanted. I ran for the exit, accompanied. Stepping out into the hallway, all I could see was blood everywhere. The smell of rust and iron pinched my nose and made my eyes wet. I couldn’t bear this situation and see kids, even younger than me covered up in blood. This was ******.
Searching and having spot on a corner, there was a wooden closet where I hurriedly hid as I heard and saw a teacher from the crack of the closet, with whom I left the hall with, rush out. Her face so pale and her forehead creased. She signaled me to move away from the closet before I’d be seen. I did as I was told.
I stood inside breathlessly, for as long as I remember until my thoughts were interrupted by a mob of kids screaming that the army had fled in. I was so relieved. Allah had been listening to my prayers. I had no words, just tears stream down my cheeks in joy.
I carefully followed the noises and met with two soldiers who ordered me and a few more to leave the building. We told them about the injured kids in the auditorium and escaped.
Outside the building, I saw worried parents and crying mothers wailing for their children. I kept my emotions composed as not to cry, but the sight of my mother crying crushed me and I gradually began to cry, as well. She locked me in her embrace. It felt so fulfilling to feel her presence beside me.
What would have happened to her without me? I still think about that day.
16th December has always haunted me ever since its occurrence. I still miss my friends. But this is life. This is how we all are going to leave one by one. Maybe, just death, nothing too serious, I hope, but one can only pray for their fate and their countries safety.
Somehow, after this incident I had gained a bit of courage and I promised myself to make all these terrorists pay. I would take them down soon and eradicate their very existence. That’s what I planned, so it shall happen!
On 16th December 2014, Pakistan faced the most dreadful terrorist attack, in which over 140 plus students in Peshawar, Aps (Army public school) were targeted. 8 terrorists or more, were involved. They martyred innocent souls. It was heart wrenching.
So as a tribute to our late brothers and sisters, I wrote this, explaining the events and the child that is narrating the story is just a character, though its based on a true story.
ink
i thought i had
a tattoo of our
love somewhere
deep inside me
but maybe our
passion was
ink from a pen
a heart shaped
drawing on the
surface of my
pale skin that
a river of tears
washed away
after all those days
I begged and begged
for you to stay
and you didn’t
Alow her open pinion's
I glanced aloft mine
View;

Her nimbus was lit
And around her Lip's:
Heaven's color's
Renewed.

O' the strap's from mine feet
Were removed, as I fell
Back in awe and
Wonder.

I remember the day
I saw her face, the innocence
Of God, the beauty and
Splendor.

Into her tropical gates
I entered yonder;

She gave me her love
As tis her love I took shelter.

Mine darling, mine lass; O'
Best friend, mine helper;

What wouldst I do, without
Thee mine Muse;

What wouldst I do;
O' what wouldst I
Do.

©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane Sardua nagley dedicated( agapi mou)
Alow- archaic for below.
Pinion's- outer part of wings, feathers, wings.
Aloft- up into the air, overhead.
Nimbus- a luminous cloud or a halo surrounding a supernatural being or a saint.( Halo)
Yonder- over there.
Tis- it is
Mine- means my archaic form.
Lass- young woman.
Thee- you.
Wouldst- would.
Arfah Afaqi Zia Aug 2016
He resides within my heart,
My soul ready to succumb,
But I have sadly erred-
To an extent where I've compelled him to leave me in despair,
Stranded alone in this suicidal world,

I lost him on my doings,
My moods and my desperation,
He's gone faraway and I, space bound-
Shed tears and wait for him to come back,
Wanting to rectify my mistake and change things forever,

Told people that I moved on,
That I've forgotten the pain he's put me through,
Though embarrassed of my eagerness,
He should've known he was my drug,
My healer, my decay,

If I die a millionth each day-
It's because of his absence and his ignorance,
Going through shackles,
Pulled into abyss,
How shallow am I, wanting someone who doesn't want me?
  Aug 2016 Arfah Afaqi Zia
Wordfreak
Every night,
I feel I fall deeper
into the dark.
It's a safe place,
A small sanctuary
To be myself.
The shadows pass no judgment,
They understand the ups and downs.
I can do what I need to without guilt.
I can sit and think,
Scrawl hate on a page,
Or punish myself for my misdeeds.
I am but an artist.
And though it may be morbid,
My body is my canvas.
#SelfHarm #Cutting #Darkness #Nocturnal
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