my foot steps echo in lonesome
each stride further away from
those who said they cared
that dark dusty corner
is my one friend now

but then the hope returns
not for long
they always leave
alone again
loneliness is my worst fear
yet it seeks me out

they only care about you
if you do what they want
they , they control your life
all because you're scared to be alone again

he taps on my left shoulder
whispers the things i want to hear--lies
the seductive phrases that haunt my thoughts

his black sweatshirt aroma fills my nose
and thousands of memories run through my head
the rhythm of his heart makes a beat my feet involuntarily tap to

he taps on my right shoulder
whispers the things i know should be said
the honest and accurate sentences

his white tee shirt hugs his body in all the right places
and i remember hugging him goodnight
and feeling as if i molded to his ample body

one is the future
one is the past
two ropes
tied to my waist
each side tugging, pulling
but it's ultimately my choice
and i have not the faintest clue
not the faintest clue

The birds seem to be telling me
In harmonious chirps
That it must be abolished

Two miniscule bugs slowly glide across the keyboard
Green with a hint of yellow
Their antennas swing up and down
They’re speaking to me too
With subdued voices
They say
That it must be abolished

A pale red ladybug flutters
From blade of grass to blade of grass
From what seems to be an infinite pattern
Of green lushness
It seems to be showing me
What I must do,
Move on
Move on from this blade of grass
That it must be abolished

An adolescent fly lands on the screen
Rubbing its arms together
And then I blink
And it has vanished
Maybe this is a sign
That I must leave
And
That it must be abolished

Why is it that everything seems to be telling me
What I desperately don’t want to hear?
It’s irrevocable

I’ve tried
And
tried
I’ve buried it in the dank dirt
Like the earthworm that I found in the soil
But the rain soon came for a visit
And it arose from the soil and into a puddle of murky water
I tried to impel it back into the ground
But it was impossible

Now I seem to say to myself
That it must be abolished
And now it doesn’t seem to be so foreign to me

In-between what space
The vast expanse.
Colors around the bend reaching,
Reaching for the emptiness
Each end concealed with a door
A filter for the corruption of evil.

The lone man bares the harsh pilgrimage
From one door to the other,
He strides through nothing
Peaceful.
Ever so empty
Feelings abandoned
Forgotten

You will hurt when a certain stillness turns to silence
and your thoughts become memories
trapped inside you like figurines in a glass case,
delicate and stunning, and reflected in windows behind you.
Halfway through the day, when the sun throws prisms
upon each angle of such memories,
when they look more beautiful than you've known,
smash them, for they were never so lovely.
Maybe they were mistaken for dreams
or wishes you made when you knocked on the heavens.
Then scatter them among the universe.
If you let them go, they will light the night sky.