The past is the past,
Its history for a reason,
The past;whether its success or failure shouldn't define you because days change,
Everyday should be taken as new as it is with its goals and hopes.
The past is to be learnt from.

You used to tell me that I spoke beautifully
but maybe it was just the words that I wrote down at 4am
because those 4am nights were seemingly becoming a thing
and I needed time to process you
and do all I could to put you on paper
so I said that you fit me nicely.
But since then I haven't heard from you much
and it seems that you've taken my beautiful words
and turned them into the ground and planted yourself a future
and you've given yourself hope that maybe you'll hold something beautiful someday.
But rainy days pass
and you've hidden your sun away
and I'm starting to think that I might not be a part of your beautiful future
so I won't suffocate you with the words you've stolen from my tongue
cause I can still taste them on my lips
inches from where yours used to be when you told me
you'd stay forever.

*spinningheads-andmessybeds

Eventually comes a time when you  become too tired to fight God.
This is when your world will start to change laying down your will.
To pick his will for your life up, then you shall realize the truth.
That his will for you has always been much better for you then yours.
So then you become full of pure Joy wanting to proclaim it to the world.
Wanting to let people know the truth that God love is so much greater.
Then you ever realize before, he is not being a bully but instead a Loving Creator.
All of those times he wanted you to lay down your will to pick up his.

though I was happy
   I did forbidden things

though I did forbidden things
   I was happy

when I wake up from my dreams
   have to leave you
       then it seems
that the mornings are much colder
and I feel a little older
all these mornings without you

when I stumble out of sleep
   sad     because I cannot keep
loving images of you
           in my mind
and my body aches with longing
    for your warmth I cannot find
all these mornings without you

then I wish that time would fly
dream of mornings on which I
   turning over drowsily
find you sleeping next to me
happily can lift the cover
and come closer to my lover
oh, these mornings, loving you!

   * *