… is who I turn to when the Toyotas and Mercedeses of the city hum too loudly for me to mute by pillow
The clock says 3 a.m.
I left my window open
But this isn’t Primrose Hill and the last man I met didn’t disappoint me.

I’m riding down the highway
Like I did with you my love
Hands together on the freeway
To Los Feliz Boulevard
To Mount Lee Drive and beyond
Night is lit with fireworks
Sun’s sinking behind the coast
I chose you cause I love you the most

I never had
expensive dinners in tuxedos and lavender scented candles
that’s one thing I’ll never have.
I never had
movie theater nights when they play stupid romantics
another thing I’ll never have.

Instead I watched cars riding down overpasses in La La Land’s hills
Bunch of Floridas and one Oklahoma
Two New Mexicos and up to Iowa
And I never realized how big of a dream it was for me to drive
for the rawness on my hips
and your hands up on the wheel.
But I watched cars hustling down the highways in the land of dreams
I saw one from Indiana
Wisconsin and Minnesota
And I thought I won’t die happy ‘till you drive me to those states
for the grin wide on your face
and the heat of your embrace

Highway 110 in Westmond
The palms were beautiful
Finale of aviation
Your eyes were beautiful

LA is where I fly to in my sleep if the tides and moon are benevolent to me
But when I wake up I don’t feel sad
I don’t think how I’m a continent over
I’ll think of how I landed there, it’s your hand I was holding
and tears of joy that were rolling down my face
cause happiness was frothing over me from both ends.

We were driving down to Solvang
Was so hot I cracked a beer
By an open pool in Rosemead
Tryna savor breathing here
And the Hollywood Sign glistened
In the flaring sun’s rays falling
Out of every guy that’s held me
You’re the one I loved the most

Cause down on Vine I watched the stars
None of them as bright as you
Constellations in your green eyes
Make me gravitate to you
We ate at Mel’s where all the stars had
None of them compare to you
And when I ride, I do unfastened
Instead I wrap my arms ‘round you

And so I spent July tearing around LA County’s weaving streets
Out of Yucca Corridor to Alhambra
Rodeo Drive to North Gardena
And I thought that cityscape was where I’ve flown every night
and there I was dreaming my life.
I’ve ridden down the streets that lay beneath Mount Lee
Toluca Lake and Monterey Park
Atlantic Square and Midwick Tract
And all those places and all their faces are what I dream of every night
For the rest of my life

See L.A. why?
For the rest of my time
Laugh instead of cry
For the rest of my life

Hot or gray
I’m dreaming my life away.
I’m in LA
Whether it’s night or day.

Hot or gray
I’m dreaming my life away
I’m dreaming my life away
I’m dreaming my life away
I’m dreaming my life in LA

Wrapping my hands around sizzling hot cardboard coffee cups
I wanted someone when my fingers touched
and I thought of how warm his hands would feel and fit in mine like lock and key.
Stirring iced coffee in parking lots with recyclable plastic straws
I wanted someone to lay my head upon
not just at night but waiting for a green light at the crosswalk
in the wind of speeding cars
quietly humming “Life on Mars”
excited to watch the stars
and wrap both hands ‘round his when the coffee cup cools down.

My soul's an origami
But I love you with every beat
My head's like a ballroom
At Fairmont, 950 Mason Street

My love's a tsunami
I thrive off 36,6's heat
Don't push me away
Nor forget our Fresno trip

Lemme love the **** outta you
Give my shadow a friend
Put my heart on the mend
And I ain't saying that so you can drive me in your car
Nor am I saying it so you can take me out to dine
I'll love the **** outta your insecurities
Please love the **** outta mine!

I don’t gotta go to Sacramento County to say I’ve slept in your embrace
San Francisco’s the farthest I got
and that was enough for me to realize that I love you.

My heart is a Motel 6
and in my hands I hold a keychain
to the room number 13
and to lend I charge no fee

You don’t gotta go God knows where to say you’ve slept in my embrace
just choose me outta other hotels strewn along the 99th hwy
or just stay where you are and I’ll come to you in a song or poem.
Cause love is magical and we’re stuck in that one doorway
leading to sequoias.
Cause there’s plenty of room in my heart - I wish to let you in
and the high and paranoia.

But when you need four walls to guard your heart, I’ve sent you my address
Just hit me up
and I’ll find a room.
Drive up my arms with your fingertips
and go up straight south of Tulare County.

I caressed the surface of your car where you parked it.
I put on your green sweater from where you dropped it.
I wear the clothes you gave me and an honest smile.
I caress your strands of hair like lilies of the nile.

Said rose was your favorite flower and I’m all about hedonism
I don’t walk past a bush without linking them to you
I’ll pick every rose from every square mile
And every drop of blood will turn out worthwhile
Said rose was your favorite flower and I’m all about escapism
I don’t let go of fears without unveiling them to you

Cause I love you for a reason
and that is to not feel lonely on a Saturday night
out in West Hollywood
I understood despite
us being temporary
to nourish us for life.
Cause love is like a garden
the more roses you give, the harder it is to keep it alive
And I don’t wanna get high every time I’m with you.

I wanna touch you
To know I want this to stay alive.
I wanna caress you
on your shoulders like lilies of the nile.

Rosemead flower.
Laurel
Canyon. Hour
‘s late.
Don’t make me sour.
I endeavor
to hold you closest.
Even when summer
wilts ‘fore me forceless.
I wanna hold
and be held closer,
than you hold your roses
closer than closest.

Call it touchstone, cause I tinge you gold
Rub my face against your chest like a noble metal
If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t discern my value
I’m a diamond in the form of a petal

Tears of joy make the finest jewelry, so do the raindrops that dot my forehead, running home to ya.
I await the comfort of spring
Months pass as I blink
The fuller the moon, the more I seem to love ya.

A shoal of stars passes above Calabasas and the peaks that reach beyond
The Hollywood Hills is where I go
My life is a love song
I’m a diamond unburned by every storm

I’m running for my life from my life
I’m running home to ya

I bathe under the moon under stars
I don’t know what to say to ya

I don’t know what I’m feeling when I’m with ya
But one thing I know
Is that it feels good

So spin me ‘round in the ocean of galaxies
Twirl me now straight into your deepest fantasies
Call it even, cause I need it all
Call it touchstone, cause you tinge me gold.

Let me stay for one more minute
ponder over crashing waves
listen to the songs of seagulls
watch my suns drown in blueness.

Just the cool wind and soft darkness
that I bathe in every night
but as soon as I hear thunder
I run like an animal in fright.

             ...and I ruin it all...

All the storms I've managed to hush
enrage like new, no longer dormant
my pieces of art scream from dusty shelves
vintage clocks spinning like carousels
even your photograph on my nightstand
which used to be my private moon
reflects no light upon my hopeful face.
The candles I put out seemed dead forever
but they all turn into one blazing flame
and they start a chain reaction
until my surroundings are living fire
and it's finally ashes.

        ...I'm frightened...

I weep on a total desolation
my pens dry out of ink
the ground lingers arid
the land I haunt is bare
no trees
no water
no seas
no life except for me
everything is burned here
to scorch including me.

          ...I'm frightened...

Bear witness to a beacon
shooting straight out of my heart
I watch it give birth to a tree
majestically waving - I realize there's wind!
I lay on a bed of butterflies
lifting me carefully off the grass that's green!
and so I fly to the sea
where everything started.

  ...I'm no longer frightened...

Contemplating yet another minute
waves crash still within my earshot
seagulls play their new symphony
though I feel something isn't right.

Nothing pretty lasts forever - life taught me
My suns will grow so big
the trees will combust
the oceans evaporate
the seagulls migrate
and the burden that comes within... it may outgrow me.

                                        ...I'm panicking...

I rifle through my nightstand and grab my refilled pen
Cause an avalanche of feelings to run onto my paper
Like I wanna churn out poems as machine gun bullets
Like it's better to burn out than to fade away.