Not moving forever is pretty boring,
so I left the dock,
on my new boat,
I went off to the unknown,

I woke up in the middle of the night and it was also the middle of the summer,
I thought about how many lies I’ve cooked up to make me a stable passage,
then I went out on the balcony,
and gazed into the vastest lake,
and the pinnacle inverted by nature,

and in that moment I thought about that time I gave up right by the summit,
how I said ‘**** it’ and hit your name in my contacts book,
and stared at the calling screen,
and told you to get me back home,
which you did later,

I got back inside and made me some tea in which I saw my reflection,
then the clock struck 2am,
and I thought about that night when I was obsessed with you like crazy,
and how it turned the signs on all the roads by 180 degrees,
all trains derailed,
all communication was lost with the outside world like in a catastrophic movie,
the cinematic slideshow finished,
I got back to bed,

and then in my dream I saw myself reaching the summit which I gave up on,
I climbed it,
left a flag,
and floated towards the clouds like a cleansed angel who has fallen for a reason,
hopefully karma did its thing,
and now I can start like new,

after the day I do all of this in real life,
that’s on my to-do list.

I sailed in the silent waters of the noir movie type of sea,
and this thought occurred to me from the far distance behind,
why drive away in the night when you can go out with a bang,

say what you want,
but don’t call me your friend,

how to avoid drama when the scenery is meant for it?
different settings?
might work with you but not with me,
I’ve been modified by those who had no skill in it after all,

I almost left,
caught the train but exited on the next station,
the only thing that keeps me here is probably nostalgia about Venus,
because that was the biggest love of my life,
but I had to let go,
then I found someone two times better exploring downtown bars,
but I let go for safety reasons,

I’ll stay, but sometimes I really want to taste a different alignment of stars,
leave the neighborhood in the middle of the quietest night,
and go down to California with nothing by my side,
far away from everything,

but most importantly from you.

I think about Cindy when our laser sights meet
at some point in space,
what’s so victorious about you I wonder,
Venus,
three poems are enough to express your lack of knowledge about me,

I look out of my car window but this time it is the real thing,
which I’ve been anticipating,
turn the purple lights on like on the set director,
learn to be a potent factor,
I don’t open up about homemade allegories,
lasers meet,
at one point,

I storage arcane sketches in remote places and your mind unfamiliar,
you paint and paint,
when we both evidently know you’ve mistaken everything about me,
you know very little about me,
but you found my weak spot like through laser vision,

you’re different than my other girls,
you find a use in it like the greatest individual philosopher,

you don’t accept advices directly through mail, but through air,
through the light like an enduring beam
of purple light,
it started with Violet,

you are just something else.

I borrowed personality from the perfect girl in school,
in my biggest year,
the most eventful for sure,

I was on a self-set mission,
caustic and cold like the last friendly winter,
to the goal,
never backwards,

unsatisfied never afterwards,
born to win,
snap of the two bosses after the titanium aura vanished like a weak spell,
legacy ruined,

no place to sit peacefully and dream like during a starry night,
the tale is over,
legacy ******,

but it’s what made me a stronger person that I wanted to be,
ever since I met you K.,
your eyes had something mine were missing,

and I’ve heard you’re still around,
the walls emit power
of the holy turtle of the far east,
swiftly as a turtle dove on the light breeze,

I’m awoken once and for all,
fate didn’t want me to rule one kingdom forever,

so I sat on my hands,
though the world is an endless thing,

unholy thing,

let me walk in style through new walls like the best new king,

I inherit personality from the best girl in my dreams.

I sat down on the ledge after it got dark,
in my head only thoughts about my fresh start,
it got ultra bright,
I became a star,
and the unclear became clear once and for all,

I’m like a stained diamond,
I’m a medley of numerous colors,
mainly dark and light but they contrast well together,
they create me
24/7,

I exist in two separate and opposite dimensions,
one is happily blooming while the other one is haunted by eternal rains,
I found peace in being myself,
I’m variegated like a rare sea stone,
and most importantly I’ve learned to live with it casually day by day,

and every day is new,
the weather is changing with my inner climate change,
the ice melts and the sun gains power,
but why would I see faults in this occurrence, when I can cherish it,

not everyone perceives life in two filters at once,
I should be happy to be me they say,

and guess what - I am!

Meet me at the boulevard
or the local bar,
there’s something I forgot to tell you,

you act like a kid,
and I’m supposed to be the adult,
you walk the opposite way,
like a kid,
I know we’re young and free,
but I can’t seem to pull you with me further,

you want to stay in your town,
like a bronze statue - still,
you disregarded the rules before they’ve been set,
traveling with the wind
and disappearing in light,
I see you through yet can’t move past you,

like a rock,
like a barrier,
you act like a kid,
I act like an adult,
so why can’t I move past you?

Basically what I wanted to write down I had in my head,
but when it comes to you,
it’s fleeting,
like a thunderbird,

it feels good to say,
you have not your favorite park or radio station,
but your favorite person,
and that person is you,

but you can’t lose me like your car keys,
with that heart-shaped charm I gave you,
I won’t burn out like gasoline in your car,
even though I feel I burnt out long ago,
the roadless,
New York,
Topanga,
no matter where you take me,
your car keys fit in my heart’s lock
and I can’t do nothing about it,
the night,
the day,
my head,
no matter when you take me,
I’m hung up on you
and I like it,

it was like a lightning strike,
momentary,
however spectacular,
love is my working tool and poetry’s the playground,
I don’t know if I still love you,
but I will because I like it,

like a thunderbird,
like lightning,

and I like it.