Deep shadows creep upon the walls
They're alive!
And they need just one thing
(A small sacrifice)
Let your fear swallow you and engulf you in flames
It's all they need
Come alive with horror
Let the shades in
And let them steal away your goodness
Surrender and light yourself on fire with terror
Join the dance of the hours
As they still and stay eternal
It's all we need
Just your blood, and just this once
To make a memorable midnight
To hang up in the stars

Anastazia*

            'Bubbly?'
I'll pass
                 shrug
           'Your funeral'
Hey. Do you ever noticed that the word* fun
is in funeral? I do. All the time.
                shrug
         'Hey. Don't be morbid.'
                pause
         'I don't like funerals. There's never enough alcohol.'
Yeah.
Never enough for you.
You crazy lush
Why do I love you?
                    shrug
Guess I asked it
out loud

I don't know if
                
                   what a terrible mundane

We can't go with

                   don't talk to me about staying sane

Please don't guard shift

                  you really don't grasp my brain

Sometimes I think
"I'm losing my mind"
It hurts me to realize
That we aren't built to survive
I wish
That we could want life
Instead of this clamor to die
Sometimes imaginary words
Can't heal
The black and blue hues of old harms

Did I happen yesterday?
Did I see the sun?

Did I happen yesterday?
Where can I find a nook
To tell you what I stole?
Did I happen yesterday?

Intoxicating run
Purpled ink flowing free
Instead of eking blood

When shall we say the things we know?
When do you let me in?
Did I happen yesterday?
Is telling life a sin?

I...
I just want to wait it all out
Maybe if I cry enough tears I can drown
But I...
I don't want to make any more holes
And I don't want to feel any weaker
So why, why can't we pretend
That this never happened

Next time, maybe, I'll withstand your storm
And next time, I will try to be prepared
Next time I won't get that close
I'll know what's hot enough to burn me
I find it hard to care
That you "didn't mean to"
Next time, I won't be so naive
And I'll be more than ready

So I...
I will find a way out
And I will not sacrifice myself for you
I...
I am growing old
And tired of litanies of lies
You will not meet my eyes
As you apologize
But I don't need you to

I have got something to tell you
That you might not want to hear
Or maybe you will. Want to.
I sometimes
When I'm calling you,
will dial my home phone,
Which is silly, because I've
had your number memorized since
8th grade
But I think it's because you feel like home
in my definitions of the world
And you make me feel at home
In myself

If I lean a little closer
To your smoky-smelling vest

If I kiss a little slower
As you breathe your dying breath

If I tell you that I love you
As the tears roll down your cheeks

If I stay to hold your hand
As days turn into weeks

If you don't need me anymore
Because you are all healed

If I don't recognize you now
Because the past is sealed

If you find yourself alone again
But long for one last chance

If you whisper my name to me
I may spare you a glance