Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
he said he loved me first
and
right from the beginning
i wasn't sure
i felt trapped
and then
then i felt the obligation
to reciprocate

guilt
and the need to appease

how could i
in all good conscience
not love someone
who loved
me?

so i tried
i smiled
and looked inside of myself
for that longing
that he so often
showed me

and i admit
there was a short period of time
that i managed to convince myself
that i too
was in love

perhaps i fed off of that feeling
of being wanted so much
that it felt like love

you know
when you confuse being thirsty
for being hungry
or food
for comfort

turns out i wasn't either hungry
or in need of comfort

i was in desperate want
of solitude

and here we are
wednesday 3rd of October 2018
and at 9:11 am
he boarded a coach
to the airport
so he can fly home

and i am again
single
free

he is a good man
but he is not for me
i like him
with all of my heart

he has understood every word i said
and smiled

saying go
be free

we will remain friends
like in the beginning
before he told me
he loved me
my need to be alone, to be happy in my own company, to be solitary.. defines my soul. only then does my heart and mind quieten. being without i have discovered a peace within.
 Oct 2018 Anthony Perry
D
vow
 Oct 2018 Anthony Perry
D
vow
Steal my breath
and heal my heart

From you, my love
I will not part
I'm feeling melancholy
 Oct 2018 Anthony Perry
Jen
Dare
 Oct 2018 Anthony Perry
Jen
Shutting Down:
Don't you dare to dream;
To sleep:
A barricade
Concealed here
In the quietness.

Breaking Walls:
Made of concrete;
To lift:
Them up
Forever.

Maybe never.
Forever
Questioning,
New views
Of how
Each day
Is a gift-
Separating from
The material-state.

Berate, berate, berate...
Oh, how we love
To hate.

Dare to love
What you "think"
You hate.
“Beneath the willow
She’s singing
Beneath the willow
She’s waiting.

Beneath the willow
Under the willow
Her body
Is now laid to rest”

A simple rhythm
I follow
A simple tune
I hum

A simple song
I used to sing
In those days,
When I was young

But I’m not a kid
Not like the other kids

They form a circle.
Hands held together.
Dance around;
Enjoy singing

I,
On the other hand,
Kept thinking
And thinking.

Why is there a willow?
Why is the woman there?

“Laid to rest”.
How?
Shot, eaten,
Poisoned?

May have died of old age.
May have not.

I wanted to know…
Already 18;
I went into the woods.
Looked for the willow I know

Two before, now three.
To the center willow;
“What was she singing?
Why was she here?”

There was nothing.
Just dead silence.

Asked again,
Yet no response.
Maybe, just maybe
I’m already losing my mind

I needed rest.
Something startled me.
A stone,
Not any kind of stone.

A graveyard stone
So old;
Dirt covered the entirety,
Although I have read these words.

“My beloved Willow,
For whoever finds your grave
Will be your eternal companion”

Is it just me?
Or is my mind on it again?
Doing its tricks,
Because of a graveyard stone?

Wind blew for a moment
As if someone passed by

Then I heard it,
I heard the song.
I saw a woman,
Heard her singing.

I stood there,
Paralyzed

In a long white gown
Hair dangling,
Towards me,
She walked.

Run…
Run!!
RUN!!!
Screaming in my head.

But I couldn’t
She got hold of me

Her hands,
Gripping tightly my arms.
I could not escape,
I could not run

Gripping me,
Still singing

“Beneath the willows
You’re singing
Beneath the willows
You’re waiting

Beneath the willows
Under the willows
Your body
Will be laid to rest”

Her head is up.
Her eyes,
Bloodshot red.
Gazing into my very soul.

“Let go of me
Please let go.”
Remains in my head
No word can I speak.

Feeling heavy
Helpless

As I try,
Making an inch move,
I am slowly devoured.
Not by her.

A willow.
Not two
Not three
Just one ****** willow

Slowly
Crushing me

Can’t get out
Nowhere to escape
STOP!!! STOP!!!
Trying to catch my breath

Agonized, screaming
Endlessly.

NOOOO!!!
Fully consuming me.

Awakened by my mother.
Embrace, she whispers,
“It was all just a dream.
My only beloved Willow”.
This is a first to publish on a website a poem of mine. I want to improve myself in writing poems.. Please do tell me if you have any suggestions or comments cause it will be a great help :) :) :)
Your hurt
Your Anger
Your sadness
Your pain

Cry it all out
Show them you're in agony
Say you want to die
Scream that you don't want to live

Show them that you can't take it in
Say you've been through so much

Cry it all out
Scream it all out
They're always there to listen

Feel their embrace
Feel their pity
They'll surround you
With care and understanding

Talk with them
Listen.

Let them see your melancholy
They'll care for you more

You're the victim?
Fine.
That's what you want

Feeling really *?
Don’t!
Tired of being here?
Don't!
Cause you have them

You have friends
MY FRIENDS
Those people who I cherished
Those people who you stole from me

Those friends of mine
Are no longer mine

I took pity on you
I cared for you
I didn't mind while you're having Fun
Fun with them, without me

I don't care if you're laughing with them
But you stole them
You stole them without hesitation

Going through some
*
You and I are the same
Feel
* up?
Well so am I

I sit at the corner
You're being caressed
I cry, waiting
While you're embraced

You laugh at their jokes
While I walk away
You smile with them
I won't stay

You keep quiet
Well I'll stay in the silence
You have the light
While I'll live in the dark

I really do hope that you're happy
Happy with them
Happy without me

I'm jealous
I really am
I was the first

I was there for them
I lowered pride for them
I laughed for them
I smiled with them

We are family
We were a family

Now it’s you
You with them
Now, it's just me
Me in the Silence
Another long poem, but I do look forward for your feedbacks.. :) :) :) Heheheh..
.
I came to a courtyard of my own making,
To a cottage by the sea at the worlds edge.
I furnished it with my left over life, complete,
Barren and colourless and I wrote the newest
Book of psalms out of tinder and flame, a tome
Of grey and useless poems, unheard of songs
And reams of flesh.  There in the lightest dark,
By the Druid stone that was placed just for me,
I planted a creeping yew tree.  And the moon
Sang in celebration and silence like a fallen
Priest.  
                    Under the covering hazel trees,
That sprung to life after the longest winter,
Which taught me to forget my name, I now
Struggle with light and my body, warring, torn
Is fading slow, like the always arriving, down
Turning solstice, the climates of the mind,
Where it is digging the never ending shallow
Hole only the spreading eternal yew, that I
Planted, will ever know and only the Lazarus
Moon shall ever rise above.

I came to a courtyard of my own making,
Was it dream that led me there or my eyes?
.
Next page