two times the charm
a gallon of tears
bedtime rituals
and the most out of life

still
the glass is half
empty

a ring made of your mind
tickets to dreams
freedom from blame
and three handfuls of safety

now
it's but half
full

the disease of despair
gambling
suicide
hate
sadism

symptoms, not causes
of the brown blood
drained from swines'
pockets

gather up your coat
and your hat
for the primetime
event

winter's brush
could not blend
the prints left
by your face

at the first
dew of spring
you renewed
dried up roots

with the last
summertime
you were near
as the sun

as I fall
for the ruse
my heart waits
under leaves

in the dark
now I see
that you've gone
til next year

I’d give you my love,
but my love just wouldn’t do, dear.
If only you could use my love.

Then I’d give you a hug
and a kiss so soft that you wouldn’t fear
what you’re dreaming of, my love.

Oh, why then, love,
why do you cry then, love?
Why don’t you try
some of what I’ve
been thinking of?

Darling, I’ve seen what’s above
and it’s you, but you can’t see the truth.
Let me lift you up, my love.

they say there is more to learn than not.
that children are the future.
shaping young minds is
most admirable.
working through ways
for a few hours
makes up for lifetimes without.
the gift of knowledge
makes all the difference.

it is not our place to
tell them how to be.
we can only show them

Waltzing through the chaos that life’s left for today,
Dragging along my battered horn in case she wants to play
‘Scuse me, Ms. Bartender, but I’ve got something to say
Ain’t nobody listening to the radio anyway

I don’t need a soapbox, no suit or microphone
Just a space to spread the truth wherever I may roam
I speak straight from the bottom of a bottle left at home
The night is not much easier when you take it on alone

Hear ye, hear ye, gather round to hear a tale
Of dreaming big, working hard, but destined still to fail

Shredding that loopy little melody,
The craziest cat you ever did see
Make you feel so alive, ladies screaming, “Wow boy!”
I jump and I jive, cuz I’m a bebop cowboy

Nothing turns this angel down
Excellence, in the flesh
And if they try, an evening gown
In satin works the best

Is beauty deeper than the skin?
Surely she'll impress
Instead of showing what's within
She forces you to guess

Eyes of gold been tarnished brown
By tears that have been wept
Dark and shining locks abound
Make up for shades not kept

Sin runs red in times of blue
Every angel's seen
Temptation's there to carry you
When you have lost your wings

Consider but the outside shell
For that is most well-known
Appearing to be straight from hell
To garnish feelings shown

How could she be so mean, you ask?
What makes her be so spiteful?
Why can't she see it's not a mask
That makes her feel delightful?

Lies frozen, held through time
In silent desperation
Hiding at the scene of crime
A ****** confrontation

To free the memories from her head
Would unleash such a fear
She'd rather end the night instead
As not to feel him near

Ah, here's the one; the big bad wolf
That's haunted all her dreams
Whom proved too well by wearing wool
All are not as they seem

But I am ****, but skin and fur
And showing her my core
And telling her the parts that hurt
While donning nothing more

He's changed her mind, she's cast astray
But I could be the shepherd
To keep the hungry wolves at bay
As countless dogs endeavored

One light can only shine so much
Before the flame has died
To reignite it just a touch
Of love might satisfy

Surely there is nothing worse
Than feeling left to dry
Entrapped within a lover's curse
And never knowing why

Well, in defense of self-defense
I must admit it's snide
To hang a face upon the fence
Until you've picked a side

It's safe, my friend, just be yourself
Strip down to nothing hidden
And let emotion feed your health
By eating the forbidden

A heart must be coaxed from its hide
With tenderness and passion
In order for the passersby
To notice what has happened

From way out here it's hard to tell
But underneath a soul
That liberates a girl of twelve
Longs for a soul to hold

To hold would mean to carry, too
When harsh times rear their heads
To be the one to follow through
When love needs to be fed

But most of all it means to dress
With confidence or loathing
Just make sure you can impress
A saint in Sinner's clothing

here we meet yet again
caught between the truth and lies
almost can’t remember when
the last time silence felt so nice

When it pours she finds the rainbow
In the sun she lets the wind flow
Through her sun-kissed auburn hair
Til the scent of perfume fills the open air

When it’s cold she lies real close to me
Til we breathe together in harmony
And get lost inside a dream
Waking up into a love supreme

When I’m late she says, “Don’t drive too fast!”
When dessert comes out we like to make it last
And give each other one more special chance
To make love with just some cheap romance

She’s the killer of all my doubts and woes
Wherever she goes the butterflies follow
If I lose a job she says, “You’ll find another”
She wants a grandkid for my darlin’ mother

When she cries it takes the man outta me
Knowing I’m not being what I know I can be
So we cheer up with a slowdown moonlit dance
And make love outta cheap romance

Another day, another shot
To use your ammunition
Giving everything you’ve got
To friendly premonition

It won’t be Independence Day
For eyes that graze the ground
And every step along the way
Will only feet be found

Look out for the birds
Whenever life’s lows get you down
Cause looking up’s the quickest way
To rectify a frown

O fast day that trembles at the sight of Moon -
when will your warm arms bend again
the night's thick armor
that shades the world of joyous muse?
 
It is most facetious in its illusion,
that renegade of pale indifference,
when daylight dwindles and leaves more to imagine
than can be seen with naked eye.
 
Beneath the gaze of Her taunting face,
people do not walk as done in light -
suddenly, trudging and stumbling are hip style.
Faces covered in guilt, remorse, fatigue -
all the things Sun can wash away with a simple,
lucid grin.
 
If brightest bright were set ablaze amidst the night,
would people be plucked from this false sanctuary
which darkness so convincingly provides?
Then many a Lost could be freed;
if only to see clearly through effervescent
haze.
 
O blessed Sun!
With your arousal, Truth and Freedom will also renew -
until again that blank stare casts its malevolent glow on
Delusion.

Way back in August you had said to me
That if I ever try to leave
You'd follow me to heaven and through hell
Well now I'm on my way to see
How far the stars will carry me
And you've been left behind with doubts to quell

So please excuse my destiny
And with a hint of courtesy
I'd like say to you, I wish you well
Would love for you to be with me
Out here where all the world is free
Instead of staying stuck inside your shell

See you around then, once again
Say goodbye to this old friend
I tried to show you love, you weren't interested
Give me a sign then, take my hand
Show me where our love has been
I won't be hangin round til then
See you around, my friend

I made it through the fire it seems
With just a couple third-degrees
And now my skin is tough enough to tell
That if you can't hold on to me
And trust the man that's underneath
Then there's no way to save you from yourself

So have fun searching endlessly
Keep wading through the male debris
To try to find a man to break the spell
I'm sure that your friends all agree
You're happier when you're with me
Too bad you've made the choice to say farewell

See you around then, once again
I'll say goodbye to you, old friend
I tried to show you love, you weren't interested
Give me a sign then, take my hand
Show me where our love will stand
I won't be hangin round til then
See you around, my friend

I wrote a poem recently.
Not so much a poem,
more like a story;
a story of love,
kind of like a love story.
Sure,
it was the best love story
we've never read.

There were romances,
struggles,
some revelations
and resurrections...
even a few bruised egos.
Blah,
blah.

Yessir,
a bayside view of
false paradise
if I'd ever seen one;
some dogeared page
ripped out of a
journal written in ink
and found in the gutter.

No beginning or end.
Just a thought.
A memoir
of a fantasy that should've just
been
and never had to explain itself.

Love is a rare and dangerous creature
That only shows face when the time is right now
Lust is a complimentary feature
Which keeps lovers guessing til both settle down

Not to say everyone settles for less
Love doesn't lie, but it leaves room for choice
Those who are willing to give it their best
Keep Lust in its place and let Love be the voice

Love is adaptable, constantly changing
It morphs and it breathes like a woman or man
Lust is impassible, always deranging
It puts up a wall and masks what it can

Nobody knows what happens to Love
When distance requires the mind to have faith
And stare at the images Lust conjures up
Alluding ideas of mistrust and distaste

Isn't it better to let Love be free?
To keep it confined would just let it die
Allowing the chains for which Lust has the key
To govern the feelings of comfort and pride

Be free, my love, to run through the brush
But always remember where you were at peace
And hurry on back when you've had enough
For I may not be here when your venture has ceased

Sunlight on my grinning face
Follows me from place to place
But it won’t do
Don’t know how long I can wait
Wandering this empty space
Searching for you

Up and down the barren coast
Listen as the riptide rolls
With so much to say
Probably what hurts the most
Is knowing when you’re so **** close
And still so far away

Once per while I catch a glimpse
Of unintended fleeting hints
To call out your name
Won’t make much a difference
Words don’t carry far upwind
It’s always the same

In the breeze
I see it’s just the wind
It’s a tease
To be at the shoreline again

Shepherd, call the sheep back home
Be thankful that you’re not alone
Round em up one more time
My, how much the herd has grown
With wool to warm your gentle soul
Leave no soul behind

even though
you’re halfway
across the world
by now

it still feels
like we’re at
opposite ends
of the same room

Guided by the hidden monsters
Blinded, my forbidden love taunts her

Eyes are widening in the daylight
Death-defying what they say's not right

I don't know what you have planned for the day
But give me just one more kiss, if I may

Few can move me through this huge crowd
Woo me to be loosely brooding doubt

Through me, you see what it's all about
Who's this new me making you so proud?

Hold on to all you can reach for today
Better to love than lose what we have worked for, I'd say

Who do you think I am talking about?
You behoove me just to sing out loud

These bright minds,
reaching further
and further
into space

As if there aren’t enough
problems
down below

Maybe they’re simply trying
to get away,
just like the rest of us

All of you.
Where do you get off
making a name for yourself
out of the mockery
in fallen heroes’ hearts?
What’s in a name;
that which we call
"a genius"
by another label
would be found on the front page
of the obituaries.

And now,
what?
Where do you go from
the top,
looking down on those you
trampled on the way
with some false sense of humility?
How we perceive you now
is like that of a crime lord;
envious,
never aspirational.

Might as well
call it a day
and take note of the
fallacy
that is fame and fortune.

Leaving behind all the memories for the moonlight,
there is no more time for a dance under the stars.
It's hard enough to see, even when you're near me.
So I won't move, what else can I lose?

Just standing in the night, waiting for the daylight
when you will shine, and show me where your eyes are.
But do not look for me, for I have been sent to leave
and without you, it seems
that nothing else can be.

The way that you miss me cries into the skies
over the tide and out to sea
where no one sees
where you've left me.

Holding hands to cross the street
Feel the sand under my feet
The way you twirl me, like a cotton candy man
I feel so girly as you wind each curly strand

When I'm growing up too fast
And the world demands a lady
You remind me of my past,
Though it often might evade me

Summer days and autumn leaves
Wading through the endless trees
The way you hold me when I just can't sleep at night
I lay there coldly as you slowly soothe my mind


After all is said and done,
So thankful you're the one
To bring back the daughter in me

the hate
comes from every angle
but mostly from the heart
in spite of glaring
desperation
that leaves the
lawn uncut;
as if littered driveways
and starving dogs
justify another term
of stolen wealth

If you could see us now,
huddled up
on this bathroom floor
like the wet towel in the corner,
a most-likely-used toilet brush
covered in
ash & hair
is the next closest thing
in arm's reach
to a real statement.

You want to know what it's about?
You do not
want to know what it's about.

To dunk those
pearly whiteheads
in oil and expect
a brighter shine
would just be silly.

Take the bedazzlings from
their feet
and what is left to judge
that which they do not
want to know?

Most of it happens
under the hex of
the small hours
between these brittle walls
in the chaotic silence of
daybreak
while the neighbors rush off
to work

Not a sound
but the hum of
a ceiling fan
toiling the extent of
my thoughts
til it's actually time to
“wake up"

The gentle crunch of
Kitty's breakfast
rings with such soothing
abrasiveness
even the crickets can't compare
Nothing can match that
care-free lifestyle I so long for

Long for...
How long exactly?
Three hours past dawn ought to
do it
unless dreary rays of light
burn through my eyelids
and rekindle the cyclical
carnival
that cons the day's authority
over sleep

Slap my hand
Bad! Bad boy!
Too much demand
Too many toys

Toss my heart
Back and forth
Play the part
What it’s worth

Don’t be mad
Are we jealous?
What we had
Doesn’t tell us

The bad ideas
Make us scared
The hate reveals
How we fared

I should’ve known
Should have seen
Karma has grown
From being mean

Protection has cost
Rejection has wisdom
All that’s lost
Perpetuates with them

Now she’s gone
So am I
I’m not fond
Of wrong goodbyes

Please help me stand
Please bring me joy
I’m just a man
I’m still a boy

There's no way out
It's too late, now that I've found you
Caught beneath a falling cloud
I'm drenched in love when I'm around you

Don't make a sound
Or let the noisiness compound you
Wading through the drawing crowd
Dressed for those who might surround you

Bring me back to somber days
When you were there to light my way
Like a mid noon cabaret
You give my world a needed change
Now that all the dues are paid
I'm not afraid
To sing your serenade

Icy breath snatches my tongue
Holding on to thoughts about you
Await the rays of morning sun
That melt away the nights without you

Take me back to yesterday
When you were there to light my way
Tomorrow's only years away
With time to blend the shades of gray
And still I see
The way you look at me
When I sing your serenade

I’m a man on wheels.
Don’t got much to ride for
and I know how lonely feels.
Few women I would die for,
none in ribbons or high heels.
There’s a place back home
I call my own,
but the emptiness it yields
makes me remember why I’m a man on wheels.

Why not unleash the roaring flames
that have warmed your heart for so long now?
Giving in to passion may ignite our lives
like the fusion of heated elements
to create a star

Floating through the void is much less pragmatic
without the perfect appeal of a complimentary pole
Do not be afraid to pull me closer
for I am careful to keep my astral course with yours
A spectroscopic alliance
as of a binary star
soaring beside, never to collide

What’s this! what furious outrage
dares to challenge the bond that is unmatched,
unscathed by the push and pull of attraction
throughout the infinite abyss known
as life and leisure?

A supernova of despair;
a plea for renewed harmony

Well, I will bare the storm of ultraviolet waves
with arms folded at chest
protecting the stellar core that is yours to behold
Yours to claim
once the cosmic dust has settled
Once devotion has conquered

In the depths of my self
lies a world so lucid and bright,
so in tune with itself
where your eyes,
unwavering in the face of event horizon,
sparkle with such starlight
as bright as days of old

I see you there
and nothing else exists

These streets
are home to countless
rodents
emerging for a moment
to feed
or breed
or just to breathe the sun

One by one line up
for the chance to
make something
out of nothing

Who are they and
where do they go
while the city refuses to
sleep

Doors to endless lands
line the avenue
each its own portal to the
unimagined

A family of four
with the yapping mutt
or a lonely cat lady
whose entryway wreaks of *****,
a drug dealer
door slamming
every hour on the hour
or an empty snowbird's nest

On the surface
everyone pretends
they don't have a hole to
crawl back to
or walls that know
every night

But below the sewer grate
a world filled with
the stench
of what could have been a
good day

Many a barkeep can
shed some life
on these drunkards'
rat king
or at least a story of those who
made it out

Once or twice it'd be grand
to see the bottom of a martini glass
left with a sip or two
instead of the casually tipped
lipstick-clad cocktail,
drained of doubt and despair
until morning warms the
frozen dreams
of those retired to
a paradise unknown

Blank faces, hopeless dreams
Scattered down the boulevard
Thank the barren local streets
That shatter thoughts of working hard

Lonely moms, dying friends,
Barefoot children in the dark
Play behind a chain-link fence
Instead of in the park

Fast food & news stations
Feed on troubled minds
Claiming that the stipulations
Are changing with the times

These days you can’t wake up
Without that cup of Joe
Problems all those drugs shake up
Most people never know

Under the sheets of emotional armor,
A shy little girl masquerades as a martyr.
She’s the Queen of Deceit with her lies getting smarter,
While every tale told draws her self even farther
From finding out why she’s emotionally bothered
By all of the men in her life: like her father
Who only was trying the best for his daughter
And striving to be something more than a pauper
But coming up short. Who knows how much harder
He’d try if she wasn’t an argument starter?
The guilt and the shame from the family slaughter
Has made her insane and continues to bar her
From finding out just what the world has to offer.

Luckily she won’t have to be here much longer;
In fairy-tale land, there's nothing can harm her.

She suddenly finds herself all alone
With nobody’s thoughts to address but her own.
This is the time when she’d pick up the phone,
Demanding a savior to hear her bemoan
About all the problems that she’s ever known,
But what she doesn’t know is a friend can’t atone
For the lack of a man with his patience to loan
To a lost little girl whose bad temper is known.
All she needs is a strong one that doesn’t condone
All the treacherous lies and the hatred she’s shown.
It’s hard to deny all the reaping she’s sewn.
She’ll have to tread soft lest her cover is blown
And everyone finds out she still hasn’t grown
Through the hundreds of tempers and tantrums she’s thrown.
Hopefully soon she can bury the bone
And calm herself into a nostalgic zone
Where smiles and candles were filling her home
And love and affection were all that was loaned.

Enlightenment comes when you realize you’re prone
To the wrath of the heartache that comes with the throne.

Living in this yellow box filled with aging trinkets
A lonely guy trying to get by just hasn't sealed the link yet
Bout a cup of milk left in the fridge and God forbid I drink it
A shaggy dog; that ***** hog, why can't they smell the stink yet?
The junk comes barreling through the door so fast that you can blink it
There's no more room for gloom and doom, but let's fit one more inkjet
They just got rid of dinnerware,  a silver and a pink set
So now to hoard an ancient sword, a blender and a mink set
Five garbage bags of someone's clothes, the sixth one's in the sink, wet
With lots of cans and pots and pans, we'll reach the jagged brink yet
They're trying to let go, said there ain't no space to think yet
They're workin hard to raise the bar, ain't  worked out all the kinks yet

Pressed for time and low on space
****** I need to get out of this place...

Even sweetest muse
cannot carry the burden
which singing of you
drops on pearly gates.

Given the choice between
heaven or hell,
you have chosen the path
that leads to a better place
for everyone involved.

Demonic swathes attempt to
steady themselves
for the barrage of good fortune
that sight of you brings
to the condemned and their kin.

I hate it when you do that;
the way you dissolve a
malignant thought
with some melodious sentence,
whatever it may be.

Your voice
is the judgement in my mind's courtroom
that breaks the shackles
holding my ego hostage,
where flowers do not bloom
and hope is six feet from reality.

Once I loved a pretty girl
But she don’t live round here no more
Ventured out into the world
To keep her pride and settle scores

I remember brighter days
Full of song and open seas
Then mid-September’s chill gave way
We can’t refuse our destiny

Seasons changed – feelings, too
Suddenly she’s out of touch
Portraits of our dream won’t do
Now as I paint, I lick the brush

After hours at the bar
Chewing fat and catching eyes
Often wonder where you are
Or if that’s you dressed in disguise

Once I loved another girl
But not the same one as before
Like a clam without a pearl
She was a shell without a core

I tried to help; I gave her love
Favors, ***, and cash to burn
Everything I could think of!
And asked for nothing in return

Then I fell into a hole –
Funny how these things turn out –
In need of but a gentle soul
To lift me up above the clouds

But when I asked for her to care
To show the warmth of open arms
She offered nothing but a stare
And only time could break her guard

Once I healed a broken heart
Brought about by foolish charm
Gave it my all right from the start
Unraveled like a ball of yarn

Days went by and turned to months
Drawing close to my twine’s end
So I sought out familiar fronts
To seek the love of kin & friends

My heart grew warm and full of joy
I leaped with faith and did good deeds
My shaded past would not destroy
The man that only I could be

The months grew closer to next year
As one by one I placed the stones
That built the path to facing fear
And taking on the world alone

Once I triumphed over evil
Choked the devil til he died
Oh, he’ll be back, there’s no doubt he will
But never more shall steal my pride

Once I learned that Love is Evil
Now she’s back to claim her prize
But I won’t let my heart be refilled
Without the whole piece of the pie