It was simple at first
I did it on a dare

There's a certain easiness
to difficult dares
when senses are dulled
by alcohol and fame

show me how
that color tastes

It was like
biting into the sun
it burned my tongue
and nothing else
would ever taste the same
or be the same
it calmed the storm
of daddy leaving
it was as if my
new found Catholicism
was a purgatory from where
I could see the bright white
pearly gates of heaven
and feel the chill
of their snow clad bars

colder than
the coldest winter chill

one night in a dream
my father told me
to meet him at the gates
and from that point
I went every night
but he never came
instead he died
and when he died
my dreams died
with him.

bury me softly
in this tomb

I continued to go there
night after night
I desperately wanted
to believe the gates
would lead to heaven
because in hell there's heat
and this place was cold
so cold with no sound
and no light only darkness

I would sit in the cold
for hours, losing all sense
of time, obligations
responsibilities, shivering
and sweating at the foot of
the gates, obsessed with the
furry luster of frozen pearls
the sound of silence and
the subtle shifting of
the weather

holding rare
flowers in bloom

a week, a month
a year would pass
the snow began to slip
in clumps and tumble
to the ground again
and again and again
and then
all hell broke loose
the heat was hot
the gates were gone
and I began to run
but

every path
led me to nowhere

the blue cold went red hot
and then turned black
I tried to leave that place
13 times I left and
13 times returned
there was nowhere else to go
no place to call home
I burned within my sick head

I wanted to peel
the skin from my face

so hot
I was bleeding for you
soaked in sweat
my calloused heart
would not ask for help

serenity
was far away

my hands were bruised
from breaking rocks all day
far from the chill
I couldn't remember
anymore anyway
so desperate
for a glimpse of snow
it all came down
to this

I could not live apart
from that place
and I could not live
within it

so tonight

I will marry the two
the here and the now with
the there and the then

mix the snow with the fire
mix the snow add the fire
mix   snow  with    fire
mix   snow  add    fire

snowfire
      
snowfire
      
snowfire

momma
I am burning
momma I am cold
mother please save me
don't leave me alone
I see you but
you've come too late
can you hold me anyway?
whisper in my ear
I'm so sorry mother
I haven't bathed in 2 weeks
momma come hold me please

I'm down in a hole mother
feeling so low mother

I'm so cold mother
come save me
take me home
mother
I am dying

mommy
I am dead
sit with me
in silence
sit with me
I am dead

mommy I'm scared

black is all I feel
so this must be how it feels
to be free

mother
I am dead

A bubble.
That's where I want to hide myself.
That's where I want to stay, away from the world.
Immune to the outside, just in my little corner.

It is. I want to hide. Hide from Love.
I just don't want to get hurt.

I want to be immune of feeling.
Insensitive.
I want to be insensitive.
Able to live my day to day life without suffering,
With no pain, no love or no hate.
Without. Without loving.

Everything is so...
So rough.
I want everything around me be insignificant,
to me;
With no great expectations of the world.
Without thinking.
Without having to think.
How I wished I could just snap my fingers
And everything would by as I please.

One, two, I'm falling apart.
Three, Four, catch me, I'm falling.
Five, six, I don't want to get back to the start.
Seven, eight, help me, I can't hear you calling.
Nine, ten, I'm empty, like a fallen bird with broken wings.

My friends call me by Sim Salobin my enemies dont speak my name
I have spent Eons so I wouldn't be known, its only through others you would see my fame
I don't ask for very much, you may not know me by touch, but if you are a friend you can call my name
I can be gentle or I can rage very quickly
I have killed and have brought rain to places where there is terrible drought
Judge me if you will for its empty boots I fill in fact you will never see me
I have been all around the world in every possible way the Earth (Mother) is round
from around the equator or from North to South Pole I am everywhere
I am called cruel and it is said I just dont care
But without the trees and Plankton and me, what would you do for your air?
I dont try to hurt people or the trees who are my good friends
Yes Wizards and Mages can stir me, they even may be able to call me, but they will get very little for their trouble
So if you dont think of me or even know where I might begin
Remember this if you will? it's quite Elemental, and try to understand. I mean I mean no one ill,
so if you need to give me a name just call me the Wind

I wish I was in another world
Perhaps a different plain
Just living my next life my love
So I'd be with you again
For now you are lost forever
Yet I cant forget those nights
Baby it's a Hell on Earth
Without you it's just Hell on Earth
I watched you die like the sun
Now your gone
And I just run
From this.....

When I can't fall asleep
I ly in bed and I think about you
I think about the words you said
And I believed

It makes me wonder
Where you learned to lie like that

I don't need you anymore

She tells me when she falls asleep
She thinks about me
And everything I've told her

She asks me where I learned to lie like that
And I didn't have an answer