the nightmares start when I open my eyes
every morning my fears grow limitless
picturing my years to come in ruins
overcoming sprouts of hope I’ve been sowing

all I think is Mary
the pure was tested with slander
shaken a solid tree while in pain
kept silent when she wants to explain
said all she needs is trust
all she had was faith

it reminds me of gentleness
that had gone too long to remember
it reminds me of a lonely walk
in this dangerous unsafe world

it reminds me of an erased smile
grieves nobody wants to hear about
a long black cloak and i moved on
yet a never ending mourn

it reminds me of a faded love
and eyes that never satisfied
and i don’t want to be a flower
that wither when he loves another

how can i ever hate you
i was created to love you
(seems like i’m the one who loves more)

how can they say
i’m getting someone better than you
i’ve loved you for the rest of my life
and no one can ever replace you
(don’t know how i’ll ever heal this wound)

you were my reason to live
everything, me becoming a king
all was so i can come back to you
come back to you safely
(unscratched even if you scream at me)

and i want to slam everything to the floor
so i wouldn’t be the broken one alone
be it glass, crystal, or diamond
(all i want is you love)

tell me how to live like you’ve never been my home
because i endlessly miss you
reset my head like you’ve never existed
because i survived without you

you were my whole world
and you decided to tear my body apart

you were my fortress
and you left me drenched in a dark road

you were my definition of love
and your back said i better nonexisted

you didn't come to my funeral
now you ask if i want to dance

you want to reach out
but i've already sunken
you're wrong if you see me glow
the light isn't for you

i've followed you before
climb to you, swim to you
but you can't see me try
you didn't try to

i don't blame you
but don't blame me

thank you for calming yourself down
thank you for cheering yourself up
thank you for your good intentions
thank you for your best efforts

keep searching, keep running
may God be content with you

there's a crack in my chest
i filled it with flowers,
gold, and sparkles
but it's still empty
i'm still thirsty

were you too good at hiding
or had i been hallucinating

i climbed a mountain to find you
but i lost myself on the way