Waking to black silence
I witness the death of alternate selves in writhing light
Gripped at the throat
Leaving breathless bodies
With little struggle left

Sometimes I
I just don't want to do
The things I have to -

My heart's pinned to the sheets
I feel like
I feel 1000 rocks ontop of me

So I
I'll just stay here in bed
Staring up

Finding patterns on the walls
Maybe my heartbeat
Will clear itself up

The rain is falling,
as is my entire being,
more in love with you.

I'm sorry,
Because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
And yet I could never do the same for you.
I'm not capable of loving everyone,
I want love, but only if I get to choose.
And you probably know,
I never chose you.
I'm sorry.

Your man.
You love him.
And so do many others women.
So don't try to cover up for him.

Your man.
He's a sweet talker.
And many women knows it.
So don't pretend he doesn't have many interest.

That what attracted you.
When others tried to warn you.
But you moved according to your rules.
And now you calling the other women a complete fool.

Your man created this mess.
And attacking his other playmates don't solve the conflict.
Cause after all is said and done.
He's still your man.

Who has a lot of women?

the perfect photograph
taken with your vintage Nikon D-something-thousand
sharp lines and enlightening contrast
clear edges
exact focus
the sun rising in the horizon
cannot convey the way I feel
about you

i loved a girl
with broken eyes
deep, sad
you could drown in them
and so i did
gasping for breath
as she pulled me under

i loved a girl
with too many scars
reminders of battles i could not help her win
with every tracing by my fingers
i wished to erase
any and all of her pain

i loved a girl
from a broken home
yelling parents
alcohol consumed
i tried to be an island
a steady rock
an alternative to the misery of her house

i loved a girl
and gave her my all
so it killed me harder
to watcher her fall
into this pit of sadness and addiction
and as i sit here in pain, wishing i could have saved her
i wondered if loving anyone
was worth it