Is there something I missed?
Was I wrong to believe our distance was not that large a gap?
Is that not the truth of the matter?
When did we begin to drift apart?
I'm used to being alone.
Loneliness and it's darkness is all that I've known,
But could the first rays of light,
only be an illusion?
I was so happy when I thought we were close.
I've never had someone as close as you,
so much so that I felt comfortable telling you any woe that might appear.
You are so special to me,
but Is this only one sided?
Like everything else?
Am I not a close friend to you as well?
I cannot feel your pain during this trial.
I'm numb to loss,
yet I see your tears,
and feel your broken heart by your expression.
I wanted you to lean on me,
the obligation I'm proud to have as your friend.
Are we not close?
Was I a fool to believe that you see me as a friend?
So many times I've been deceived by liars and cheats,
I was so happy just hanging out with you.
I've never known what it felt like to stroll a mall just acting like teens for once.
I'm sorry that I'm never good enough,
I'm sorry that I can't be your rock when you need stability.
I wish I could've helped.
I wanted more than anything to soothe your tears,
but I am not that in which I thought I was.

Why do I always feel excluded,
As though I'm worth only air?
I'm shy, that doesn't mean I have no interest.
Why do I feel left out,
when they won't invite me into their group?
When I work silently by myself,
No one willing to change this soundlessness.
I wish to speak up,
but my word's are trapped,
Whimsically working their way up,
wanting to say, "I want to help!"
Why do I feel so excluded?

Time holds with it many wonders,
Many mysteries yet to be solved.
It grasps answers and stats,
The evolution of exotic genes and habits.
But what does time have in store for someone like me?
Genes will never answer my questions,
One who has rarely seen her biological parents.
What wonders are devised to fulfill my hours,
What mystery awaits for one such as myself?
One who even Darwin himself could not classify.
Time mends all wounds,
But can time resurrect my lost soul?

How
How could someone
Wish to replace their past
Ridding themselves of an accident and unaware
Betrayal

Their corners hold secrets,
Darkness lingers in their depths,
Hiding them in vast thickets,
Making the most noticeable of them as quiet as slow breaths,  
What is beyond the mind's understanding.
She can't see these shadows,
Whose fluctuating contour is standing
In the obscurity that could belong in sideshows.
It's sepulchral aura haunts her,
Not knowing what  lurks beyond the mist,
That dwells in her mind, seemingly a blur.
Wishing that such thoughts would no longer persist,
Her deepest secrets,
Kept by the keeper of the clock,
Wanting to hold them locked within her caskets.
This is her own Pandora Box.

What aberration would cause:

Someone to attend to such foul play,
As the annihilation that would pause
a life, one filled with the air their being draws.

What aggravation could possibly stray,
A sound mind into transgressing a written clause
Of which all human life agreed to in our laws.

What Delusion would bring someone to slay
Another human being, meeting the jaws
-Of death, as their heart is transfixed by claws,

Seeking to steal their life, unafraid to disobey
And attempt to take away the life of a young fraus.
This crime can not be mended by gauze,

Instead, on the heart it will surely weigh,
Until it infects the perpetrator and gnaws
Picking on every grain, every haws,

Til it unravels and will portray
The nightmare within, the criminal withdraws
From their sanity, only to begin a constant stream of guffaws.

These thoughts of mine you see,
Are not mine to keep,
Hidden away under lock and key,
When read, they slither and creep,

Into the hearts of those who eyes have darted through the words,
This emotion I hide away is universal,
Everyone feels the same at a time i their life, from hero's to cowards.
They are prisoners of one mind, but put on repeat through rehearsal.
They echo through eternity, understood by all.
Unable to be contained, they dance through the heart, hoping to find lingering pieces to enthrall.
Only to pierce through, thrown like a dart.
This is how poet's can change your view,
or rap themselves around your heart, and now I wish you adieu.