Am I good enough as I am?
in my own heart, I want to believe that I'm intelligent,
a family of frauds and drop outs,
studies say I'll only ever be as smart as they are,
however, my report card is lined with A's,
while she didn't make it past 9th grade,
Did my environment save me from stupidity,
or am I a fool,
tricked by myself into thinking I'm something I'm not?
comparing our lives,
It's obvious I've made wiser decisions,
so why does science defy me?
Saying I'll only ever be as good as them?
Do the laws of scientific reasoning not apply to me,
or am I only deceiving myself, and what I can do?
which turned me into me?
Nature, or nurture?
or could it be a combination of the two?

The sakura petals, whose life spans are so short lived, begin to wilt,
and with their falling blossoms, my old love dies out,
it's flame, never again to be rekindled,
They wilt away as the breeze air carries them far from my loving tears,
he had found a new destiny,
a new love, whose petals beam a brighter shade of pink,
that wind only made me shiver in loneliness,
it's bitterness held by jealousy,
but than it brought with it a sweet sensation,
'I'm glad to see his sunny smile return'
even if another had cast it, at least he could find his own happiness once again,
farewell  my dearest love,
and may the your smile never again forsake you

Each Valentine's day,
as kindness blooms in the air,
and couples gather,
I write and draw valentines,
for friends, for family, for classmates,
and anyone who wants one,
Cards were given to those of importance of others,
by assistance of the school,
and given the title; Candy Grams,
These caring cards I've received a few times;
a couple from friends, and two whose authors are unknown,
The first appeared in eighth grade, a candy attached to the name:
From: your lost love
The second was given to me on this valentines day, my junior year stating:
From: cupid
tears overflow as I take in these cards,
their reasons various, as thoughts collide;
"I can't believe someone would give me this"
"some one must be pulling a prank on me"
"Maybe a teacher sent it to be nice"
so many possibilities, but one truth remains.
I'm so grateful someone would give me a candy gram.
and so, I hope everyone has an amazing valentines day!!!
<3 (//^//.//^//) <3
My favorite day of the year!

Maybe My Life was meant to be t
                                                               ­ h
                                                              ­         a
                                                               ­                 t
of a G
                  h
                         o
                                s
                             ­         t.
Forever wandering,
                


Empty corridors, intruding into their spaces.
M                                                        ­                                  .
y                            ­                                                      
cries  ech­oing into their acoustic cavern,
                                                         ­                  T
                                                               ­ h
                                                     e
                                           y
fade as I realize how alone I really am,                                  .
M                         ­                                                                 ­                      .
y                                        ­                                                                
         Invisibility confines me to                myself, -----------------------------
                 Hides                                        
        me                        from
Their                 eyes.
          Filled           with hatred.
             I was             always alone,
                    from the day,         my calendars first flipped
                         A                                                                ­                       Not
                         kind                                                             ­     everything
                                warm family,               is as it seems                   .
                              A wave goodbye            as dad takes off in his truck,
seeing new sights and adventures,          without any thought to those   who                         are left behind,
                   A mom who's tried           so  much,                                                          
that her remarks                            and smiles seem to fade away.
a little sister hurt from torture,                      and beheaded by harsh words that seethe                                              as poisonous as venom
A birth family                   far from loving
friends that constantly leave,              who are as precious as gold,
but abruptly              disappear,
"everything will fade away, it will all disappear,
until
          only
                        I
       ­                           am
                                   ­             left,
To wander empty spaces for eternity.

Fear prickles down my spine,
slithering it's way into my farthest reaches,
what will become of me?
If her words sting, as though time has lengthened each spite,
If the stage is busy, but without a crowd to watch?
What will become of me, if they ever find their way to me?
If art and music are no longer my only remedy,
What will become of me,
when I can only be surrounded by shadows and shards from long ago?
tears cease to fall, and all I am is numb.
What will become of me,
If I can meet new smiling faces once more?
If laughter surrounds the halls instead of evil cackles.
What will become of me years later, when my world renews itself?

Isn't a ballerina supposed to be graceful, dainty, and special?
Isn't their something gorgeous in her steps?
Even a jazz dancer has beauty,
Dance is grace,
dance is beauty,
all wrapped into movement,
I am a dancer;
I've taken ballet and jazz,
I love to dance,
but ...
I'm a dancer you can't trust around glass or fragile trinkets,
A dancer who crashes into tables and chairs,
a dancer whose very name means grace,
but when the curtains are closed and the dance has ended;
I'm the clumsiest girl you will probably ever meet.