I fear every  tomorrow  
All my life it only brought sorrow

Tragedy on top of tragedy is stacked
I'm spread eagle on life's torture rake

The universe keeps twisting the screws
Will it ever be over,  haven't I paid my dues

Isn't forty years enough suffering
What other catastrophe is out there hovering

I fear the winds of change
Still I feel them just the same

For change has only ever worsened my plight
Agony always takes another bite

Look forward to tomorrow, is what is said
But I only see it in black and red

Walking down
       Second Avenue
inside trips of
       electric pulse
my eyes peeled back
to take it all in
my senses full
       of whizzing
action as I
hold your hand
in innocent wonder
I still take a stand
asking questions,
sometimes shyly
observing how I might
want to be
                    or not
colorful people
some with kids
some with spiky hair
clothes of all kinds
progressive air
we turn the corners
(Dad, are those
two women kissing?)
my eyes wide
yes I must
must keep them open
to access what I'm missing
punk queens and their friends
people of every culture
faces of every shade
some friendly some bitter
from dark onyx
          to cool jade
then sophisticated
streets with window
jewel-toned
                     dazzle
to contrast the
nitty-grit
of Lower East Side
street art
        rough-edged
frazzle
West Side laid back
in its pre-hipster scene
now I am a soul-searching
adolescent, my hair dyed
a minty hue of green
vintage skirts and short-spiked hair
feeling anonymous and happy
loving the looks as I
kept my gaze steady
inside feeling my
budding womanhood
at work, making
                     me heady
and how I remember
as a kid
going to visit my grandpa
                                  at work
way up high
amazed by those Twin buildings
slicing clear blue sky
in an elevator that moved
from winds side to side
seeing the whole world
from the top
what a trip, what pride
Flashback to later
in a far-away land
all pregnant
my mouth dropping open
I watched them be ravaged
cityscape landmarks
sawed off in the middle
like a King Kong movie,
                  our eyes disbelieving
fire and brimstone
so much grieving
Trying to call dad and panicking
(***  is he supposed
go to the WTC branch today??)
Not believing how our
           belief in people
turned us into prey
My city I no longer live in your ribs
But you beat inside me
             today everyday
all months not only September
yet today tears do flow
as I vow
    to remember

cold shoulders crack under pressure;
just shield your eyes and look away.
it’s easier to deny you are lost
when you never see the light of day.
learn to love the tears in your seams,
the pages that withered in time.
healing has a beauty of its own.
be gentle with the time it takes to grow,
to embrace the spaces in between,
the process of learning how to be free.

Our love is like the puzzle pieces
We bought when we were dating,
The ones that came without
The guiding box-top picture.

Day after day you hand
Me pieces of emerald green
Or royal blue.  Some days they're
Orange with a streak of white.

For years now I've been
Lining up the edges,
Linking one piece into another,
But the image remains fragmented.

Now here I am at the end
Of my life, pushing the
Final piece into place.
With tears filling my eyes,

I behold a photograph of you and I
Sitting on our front porch.
Our old, wrinkled hands clasped
As we watch the sprinkler

Move back and forth,
Laughing as our grandchildren
Leap through the streams
That shimmer in the sunset.

Today’s cloud is a rainbow
Dark blue
Light blue
Orange
Pink
With white
Outlines

Some clouds are Pentecostal fury
Orange cotton burning
With daylight’s rage
Swirling and smoking
Working themselves
Up into a storm of retribution

The clouds descend
Bluish grey beasts
Swallowing
The skies
Consuming
All things in sight
Leaving nothing
But a lone tree
To stand against
The rain and sleet