If I live to be young
I will sail,
With my tongue,
Away from whiskey and
You
To the sea's deepest blues.

I showed up
Already drunk.

I'm drawing ships
And skeletons
On the first blank page
While I drink to
Anything that suits a sip-
Which is everything at this stage.

He calls me often
To try and take me out.
I don't understand why
He wastes his time
Pitying me.
He knows I won't leave my house
If he doesn't make me.
Because I hate to see the sun when I'm so certain
It isn't real.

Look at me*
Tremors wrack my
Tense,
Paranoid form.
There's nothing wrong with you.
My mouth hangs slightly open,
And I believe the man
Who waits patiently
within my head.

Your words are generic,
Your mouth- just a hole.
You can match every syllable
But you can't match this soul.

You traced your words in sadness, dear
You dotted 'i's with fear
You casted spells and wondered how you called those demons here
*But I do not want those things again

Sweet-ice wrote me
one more poem
To send soft chills back up my spine.
Her sincerity is
the sweetest breeze
That suffocates me every time.
She makes my mind awake-
That turbulent
Sweet-ice girl.

It was cigarettes
And ****** up nights
You know you should regret.

I wanted to die in the trees
Shed my broken skin like ***** ticks and fleas
Have my spirit dog the falling leaves
While branches dip themselves in grief

I miss when you'd whisper
Secrets and dreams
In my ear
Under stars and summer moonlight
While you picked at your guitar
With a lighter
And a smile.

My voice is soulful gravel
Cleansing crystal
Grinding in my throat
Wailing, whining out
Hoon's Great Escape.

I just want to hug you
One last ******* time,
And tell you it's okay not to want me anymore,
Because I know who I am.

We made it to the east coast
i saw the ocean, mom.
Dad saw a needle.
My ole man yelled and held my hand

I'm a box beneath your bed
Of letters, left unsent
Unsaid words of lost apologies
And misguided misogyny

All these lines-
A hit here,
          A shot there
They cross and cover us
   They complicate us.
**But we drew them.

It's three in the morning
Again.
I'm awake still.
Weary
And so ******* tired.
But things are the same as they've always been.

I cut my hair.
I was sick of myself,
Burning in my own flesh.
I only left the back long.
For rough nights with *****,
Tequila,
Beer,
And him.
I cut my wrists.
Still sick of myself.
Still burning.
But this time,
I left him nothing,
But rough nights with beer,
Tequila,
And bar *****.

I carved you away
with a bitterless taste
No ache in my heart
No laying awake
I'm ******* great.

Alcohol is
My anguish-
Agony-
My ******* Lucifer
Saving me and
leaving me empty.

"you're shaking, ***."
she wears a concerned look.
"It's my meds. "
I ******* hate myself.
"You've been in bed all day."
I close my eyes to nausea
to pain
"Yeah. Sick."*
My whole mind and body quakes
I'm a monster,
in the midst of eternal transfiguration
I'm in withdrawal.

I will always love
And I will always be taken advantage of
I've got problems with the moon
But I might be over it soon
And over you, too.

In case you didn't know-
I can be so ******* beautiful.

I wish my breath was anthrax
So I could **** with just the air.
I wish I didn't feel so much,
I wish my mind was bare.

You used to call me,
******* wasted
So I could sing you to sleep.
You liked
The rough satin of my voice,
That hinted at
Sorrow
And ***.

There was one last lipstick stained cigarette
In the ashtray
Laced with memories I could forget

Let me
Dip my teeth into the vemon
Of your skin-
Liquify my insides
And I'll do the same
To the ice in your gaze.

little pills to balance mood and hospital stays
days and nights melt, seeing only shades of grey
microbursts of blackout pain
ideas of nine bullets in an alleyway
I bite the blame with a razor blade
and think in metaphors and bright red stains
sat and stared at glass from broken frames
spat blood, turned, and walked away.

I don't feel anything
Besides a storm
And the knife between my thighs.
I'm sorry.
I want you.
I want me.
But right now
All I am is bleeding.

Your lonely poems used to be of comfort to me,
your new perspective on repeat
was guaranteed to make them bleed
but they're exactly what I need.

She begs me
Not to slice feeling from my heart
Or stitch the pieces of my skin.
I laughed,
Because as beautiful as she is
She doesn't understand
The difference in itches.

"why do you have so many cuts?"
i throw things.
i clutch my chest.
because nothing ever matches this,
nothing ever does!

I don't believe in breath
Because it seems the world lacks interest
In anything but ***
And how to breed
And to infest.

You can keep me in a locket
And rip memories from our pockets
You can take your lips away from mine
But ill still be on your mind.

I hate all this rain
And I wish you were dead
'Cause I know you'll never love a girl whos
Heart hurts her head.

I want to slide steel back
Into your broken smile
So you remember just how cold
It feels when even dreams are mild

I don't want to be
that broken girl
anymore.
I'm sick of what I've done.
I'm sick of drunk sleeping
On a strangers floor.

I'd be gay,
Too
If i had to take
(pictures of)
your ****.

Go away from me
      I deserve to be unseen
I'm just so
           *******
                    Ugly