They say home is where the heart is
But what if you don't have a heart?
What if you don't have roots or walls or a spine?
What if you have nothing holding you together
And nothing tearing you apart?
What if you're a mere echo of a stray soul stuck in limbo?
A lump of atoms,
A burnt match,
A drifting vagabond,
Naked, lost, and numb in this cosmic paradox
Where satisfaction is but a distant memory

You asked me what I want
But how do you mean?

Like a wish?
Because it's always been a dream of mine
to fly with my own wings
or to control time
so that maybe I'd get enough sleep
and I could draw out the memorable moments until I'm sick of them
and then
maybe
sometimes when I need a break I could just stop everything
and focus on the serene silence of a world frozen in place

But does this wish have to obey the rules of this reality?
because if that were the case
then I could wish for the attention of that one boy
the one with the electricity in his fingertips
and that might temporarily please me

Or I could wish myself convenience
I could wish that my hoodie strings never crept uneven
I could wish that my nails stayed short and neat
so I didn't have to cut them
I could even wish that I knew everything there was to know

Or I could wish for something to better the world
I could wish that natural disasters were a myth
I could wish that 'pretty' didn't mean anything more than the empty breath of air and intangible vibrations that it actually is
That it didn't have any more impact than 6 letters of graphite should

Or I could wish for something to better myself
I could wish for better handwriting
so maybe I can convince myself that my words are worth the paper they stain
Or I could wish for endurance
Or effortless conversation skills
Or pristine work ethic-
something I can use to my advantage in the future to ensure success.

Or I could just wish for success.
I could wish for the job of my dreams
endless money
the perfect family
but where's the fun in that?

I could even use my wish to help someone else
cure someone of their terminal cancer
Hell-
I could wish up a cure for cancer!

I could wish that mosquitoes didn't exist
or that I had a photographic memory
or that I lived somewhere I could wear flip flops in January
or that I would never age, never feel pain
I could wish for an A on my next science test
or that poverty inversely reflect humanity

But you know what I think?
I think it's human nature to feel discontent
and I think
that's vital
to the evolution of the human race

I think that we need it
to continue
to grow
and better ourselves

So what do I want?
What's my one wish?

I wish that I could believe in the magic of the stars peeking through tonight's sky

He rolled into my little sandy town
And drew me in like the moon pulls the tide.
We played on the beach till the sun went down
And danced in the dunes, under a star-soaked sky.    

The air was heavy in the summer heat
And his skin was soft when he held my hand.
We walked with the ocean in our bare feet
Making footprints in the warm ivory sand.  

We only had three short months by the bay
Now our summer’s a memory haunting
Like the ocean tide you drifted away
And left me with a bunch of nothing.  

Heartbreaks, like seashells, are a dime-a-dozen
But there’s nothing sweeter than summer loving.

i never wanted you
but now that you're hers
i want to rip your heart out of her hands,
crush it to a pulp,
and **** all of the living blood out
until you feel as dead as me.

1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.

High school is a tricky beast
A fresh start, with new pencils and locker combinations
Lanky legs, too-short skirts
And nervous chit chat.  
Girls watch the boys
Ignore the girls
And head to football games with high hopes.  

Winter’s cutting chill sets in
Forcing everyone inside and
The school becomes a communal Petri dish.  
Homework, stress, tests, stress.
Finding a seat at lunch. Stress.  
Girls will shed sweaters for sweaty dancing
And late nights.

Spring rushes in,  
And the sun is welcomed like an old friend.  
Floral perfume and impatience
Hang in the air.
The boys ask out the girls (finally).
Wispy romances are full of sticky hands
And nervous firsts.

Like a roller coaster ride with twists and turns
Time’s up before you know it
And the beast spits you out of its clammy insides.  
The future looms like a thundercloud on the horizon
Until it cannot be ignored.  
The boys break the girl’s hearts,
And the girls learn to forget.  
High school is a tricky beast
You’ll never be the same.

Mom, I’m sick and getting worse
Could you please go call a nurse?  
My throat is achy, my fever’s high
And chills are running down my spine.

I think I’ll take this time to complain
There’s an achy feeling in my brain.  
All I can do is to fester in disease
While trying not to cough and sneeze.  

I guess I should stay home today
And put my homework on delay.  
But there is one thing I must confess
Today I skipped my calculus test.

I sit in the shower
Knees to chest
Eyes shut
And that’s when I let myself
Think of you.
A cool stream of regret
Runs through my hair
Across my spine
Down the drain
And that’s when I let myself
Let you go.

This time around,
I didn't get a goodbye kiss
Or that long meaningful stare

This time I got
Dirt in my eyes

I've been harmed
My eyes (the gateway to the soul)

Oh how they burn
For my mind misses
Looking at you

Feeling you close
And you looking at me
The way I look at you

With love and admiration

With a sense of desire

Now I am left

With memories that I claw
To hold onto

And just as before
I throw out all other knowledge

To hold onto more of the days
That I spent in your comforting arms

This time it's more unfair than ever

And I beg for you to somehow

Be able to just stay

My love reaches

Such a grand intensity
And I can never let go
I open my eyes despite the pain

Wiping away the tears

And I reach out to you now

Hoping maybe

You'll respond

With more than simplicity

But show me you love me
Tell me how you saw me all those days

All that time we made love

Make me smile again

Don't go without giving me
Something to hold onto

Some faith
Some hope

Don't go without
Telling me you love me

Because I want to replay that instance
Everyday until we can be reunited.