when we are little everything seems big

the older people will tell you scary stories about the world
how it changed over the years and how you should live
they will tell you all the things you never wanted to hear

but they wont tell you about the flowers and gardens
about the oceans and birds flying in the sky, the sunrise
the stories about happiness are like a forbidden secret
something you need to discover yourself in this world

I always wanted to die young because growing up scared me
I remember saying these terrible things to myself in the mirror
things like you wont ever reach seventeen, you are not worth living

and now Im sitting in my room at the age of seventeen
still discovering the little secret called happiness
maybe I will never figure it out or maybe I do someday

oh well for now Im just fine with being a teenager in love.

you placed flowers in my heart and bees in my stomach

Born in the Barrio. Tasted the horror. Moved at 15 to a one horse town. It still had a taste of the horror but paled in comparison. Couldn't rise above it until you. You made me and who I was and still am today.  Taste and see how good it is to be me. Be free.

Its funny how i say
i wont need you today
then try to turn and walk away
but i come back, always

its like you have a hold on me and you know
i see it in your face, that smile, i cant let you go
and you know how much i love you, head to toe
i wonder if you have a clue that now everyone's my foe?

but i hope you know its about to all change
because my love for you might not be the same
you play with me, with my heart like its some game
and i have this feeling.. that sadly your all for the fame

and i know that im going to cry
maybe hurt myself but i have to try
who knows how fast time will fly
so for now this is another good bye

I think
Zen has been taught
all wrong
for a long time,
because the common understanding
is that Zen gives you
peace of mind,
an empty mind,
a mind which doesn't think,
and other such hogwash,
so I can explain
what Zen meditation
does to me,
and that is
that it brings up
much chi energy
to my head,
because of the way
that the eyes are fixed
and the posture
and the breathing
and the mantra,
and so
the mind becomes
stronger, more powerful,
more active,
not more peaceful
and passive,
and as such
it is conducive
to such phenomena
as internal music,
much thinking,
channeling,
telepathy and psychic powers,
seeing things,
hearing things,
and imagining things,
therefore
if you are getting into Zen
for peace of mind,
you've gone
to the wrong place.

Three years ago today.
That's when you asked me to be yours.
I said "Of course!"

You were kind to me.
You were perfect for me.
You were mine.

We spent three weeks together.
All day, every day.
Just you and me.

We were as happy as can be.
Then you had to leave.
It was so hard to see you walk away.

Watching you leave tore me apart.
It made me break down and cry.
And I cried all night.

You called me that night.
You called to cheer me up.
To make my tears stop.

Three months later I knew.
I knew I loved you.
You knew I loved you.

I told you four months after.
Four months exactly.
And you said "I love you too."

One month later.
You proposed.
I squealed "Yes!"

Two months later.
You broke me.
You ripped my heart out.

To this day.
You will always have a part of me.
Just one small part.

I still love you.
If only you felt the same.