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Nicole May 2015
I'm atychiphobic,
I'm afraid
of not being good enough
to be a relationship
with a specific person.
Everyone,
or everything,
I ever cared about
end up destroyed
and I can't
let that happen to him,
not to him.
It's not fair.

--          --

I'm afraid
and that's killing me
because
it doesn't matter
how much is my desire
to be with you
I can't allow myself,
or that fear,
to hurt you;
that would be way too much
and I will never
forgive myself.
Nicole May 2015
Tengo un corazón de piedra latente,
que se agrieta cada vez
que lo azotan contra el suelo.

Tengo un corazón de piedra latente,
que extrañamente sus pulsaciones crecen
cuando mis sentimientos por ti
trato de desvanecer.

Tengo un corazón de piedra latente,
que daría lo que fuera
para que su corriente sanguínea
no se desbalancee.

Tengo un corazón de piedra latente,
que a pesar de las caídas
se fuerza por mantener vivo
el cuerpo en el que habita.

Tengo un corazón de piedra latente,
que se polvoriza por querer estar
junto a ese corazón de acero,
pero conoce que no es pertinente.
Nicole May 2015
I am complicated
No one really understands me.
Sometimes, even I  don't.
I'm like a world full of mysteries,
nothing's ever certain around me.
I constantly change of mind,
think about something,
and act all the way around.
I am complicated.
I'm hard to define,
it can be a mess,
and yet, strangely *beautiful.
Nicole May 2015
Traté de complacer al mundo,
me utilizaron.

Fomenté la unión,
todos se separaron.

Otorgué de mi tiempo,
lo malgastaron.

Me ajusté a ellos,
me abandonaron.

Planteé un orden,
lo desorganizaron.

Acepté sin condición,
todos criticaron.

Otorgué mis consejos,
no los apreciaron.

Compartí mis secretos,
los divulgaron.

Expresé mis creencias,
se burlaron.

Ofrecí mi ayuda,
abusaron.

Brindé mi confianza,
se aprovecharon.

Pretendí tenerlo todo,
*me quebrantaron.
  May 2015 Nicole
Lily McLaughlin
I miss honest conversation.

I miss the innocent flirtation between strangers.

I miss the feeling of ones dagger within the first kiss.

Knowing this heart may crush yours but you're too infatuated with their eyes to care.

I miss the feeling of ones laughter on my lips.

The way one gently would press their lips against my hips.

The ecstasy of falling for ones soul is a feeling that has become unfamiliar to my heart.

So I sit here , waiting for the honest conversation and the unforgettable infatuation.

-Lily P. McLaughlin-
  May 2015 Nicole
cloud
***
i am innocent
i am not a ******
i have not been stripped of my innocence
i have been stripped
and teased
and pleasured
i'd love to see the look on a republicans face when i say
*** is fun
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