Boys don't like girls like me

Boys don't like girls
With frizzy hair
And red velvet tongues

Boys don't like girls
Who wear heavy boots
And leather jackets a size too big
With pins pushed through the fabric
Declaring their beliefs
Like picket signs

Boys don't like girls
With outie belly buttons

Boys don't like girls
Who shop in the men's section
At thrift stores

Boys don't like girls
Who shut themselves in ivory towers
And refuse to let down their hair
Because they're too afraid

Boys don't like girls
Who talk to plants

Boys don't like girls
Who pick the pickles off
Of their cheeseburger because
They believe its the best part
And you always save the best for last

Boys don't like girls
Who carry trauma on their backs like boulders

Boys don't like girls
Who don't know how to kiss
Without leaving
Blood stains on your lips

Boys don't like girls
Who write love poems for themselves

Who practice archery and witchcraft
Because it makes them feel stronger

Who dance in their kitchen
To the music of popping popcorn

Who shy away from touch
Because to them it feels like acid

Who have stretch marks and cellulite

Who'd rather stay at home with the dog
Than go to that party

Who have ice in their soul

Boys don't like girls like me
And I'm trying to be ok with that

Some of us learn the first time
And some learn by frequent repetition
So what I would like to find
Are more tolerant participants
That are willing to be consistent
When conversing with a mind
That is needing patient assistance
And with a little extra time
We can eliminate resistance
And as one, realign
With our unified mission

I've decided that it pays to be a pessimist
We love deeply, while not ignoring the feeling of our hearts begining to crack
This doesn't mean our hearts end up in any fewer shards
Or are any less impossible to reassemble
But at least we're not surprised when they shatter

There is ice
on the pavement
and the wind hasn't stopped for a week.

The sky is dim
and polluted
and our cigarettes shine brighter
than the stars do.

You enter
and you are wild flowers
in a town that has only
ever known the colour
grey.

Others are just funeral cars
passing by,
whilst you are full-blown technicolour
in this void.

You look my way
and approach me.
The stars shine
more brightly tonight.

Rejection is hard, rejection is tough,
Rejection has a way of making you feel like
You’re just not enough
If someone doesn’t want you
Don’t feel second rate
Because inside of us all
Lies something great

The smoke entwines itself around and through your soft hair
It circles around your small nose
It traces the outline of your gentle facade
It laces through your fingertips
It makes a nest on your t-shirt, and rests there for the night
It cuddles up close to your smooth, pale skin
It warms you up on a chilly November evening
It makes you feel loved.

Oh, how I wish I were smoke.

Maybe then,
I could entwine
And circle
And trace
And lace
And nest
And cuddle
And warm
And love
You too.

{alaska}

i.
no matter what your teachers
may tell you, your grades are not a
measure of how smart you are, that
has more to do with how you handle your
heart, and i have never seen anyone love
more fiercely or smart than you.  

ii.
i have let boys touch me just because
i was scared to lose them; don't let them
lay a hand on you without you asking
them to, you are worth more than that.

iii.
people will walk away, but you've known
that already.  keep your chin up so that when
they turn back one last time, they know that
you don't need them.
you don't need them.

iv.
i hope you find somebody that holds your
hands, even when you're nervous and
they start to sweat.  if they pull away,
you come find me and i swear,
i won't let go.

It's like getting suffocated.
Hands around your neck,
squeezing harder,
and harder.
Yet it's not hands.
It's words.
Words you say.
Things you call me,
either straight to my face,
or behind my back.
Those are the words,
that suffocate.

(e.k.j.)