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angelique Jul 2020
rhomboid sky behind me,
violet sea before me,
undulating fields of halcyon
and waving grain

laying down silently beside
someone now long gone

sing to me o muse,
about how we loved one another
through concave nights

about the way the world  
looked with the muted dawn dappled
upon a distant spring reverie

about how we watched our last sunset
together over the ionian,
and how it burned nectarine

now i look at those tears
in the rhomboid sky,
your voice, floating, oh
i remember everything
as it all creeps away...
~ time,  
             memories,
                                faces,
                                           all slip away ~
angelique Jul 2020
I am not who you think I am.
I am broken.
To you, 'boundary' was just another word,
three syllables and eight letters.

I am more than how I appear.
I have a heart. I have a voice.
A voice suppressed
behind sullen hope
and trickery.

Perhaps that's why I can't look some in the eyes...
For how else does one stitch up tears?
How else does one sift through their existence?
How else does one belong in a wasted morning?

I tried looking for 'real love' – everywhere –
I looked under broken glasses, under pillows and seats, where
'real love' should have been,
but it was not there –

To you, 'love' was merely another word
like 'boundary',
in some foreign language which you
never bothered to learn.

You were too interested in the sights of the country
instead of its language and culture and history.

If only there was
a way to distinguish,

–  a clear way to understand  –

The difference between
'yes' and 'no'
and when to stop.

Between
'want' and 'need'
and when to walk away.

As fleeting morning arises
and I look out at tentative cloud,
I realise that
I may not be who I once was

But I am still here
Living, breathing.

And I will continue to live.
I will continue to breathe.
I am stronger now.
I am. I am.
Written for one of my closest friends. I asked them before I posted this on here.
I am with you. I support you.
angelique Jul 2020
rioting crowd in the east-village squire,
crowds part in a brooding haze,
and a dice rolls across the years, stumbling
oh he painted himself a fool, luck hangs blasé

brush and crayon trace over lush ruin as etruscan love
pierces this thin veil of civilisation,
once coloured in imprisoned
years of ambition

and irony is warm and it glows 'cause
time is a conundrum, a fate, a paradox – and thoughts
are irrelevant in this oak-veiled cage,
for when the unimpressionist sings,
dreams start to sway

in a vaulted room, basalt
vases hold flowers,
****** bare of fruitful love
by the unimpressionist,
who holds pride and flattery high above

and outside the cage, the artist lifts his paintbrush
oh he dreams all too aimlessly, alight with naïveté

and as he pulls down jewelled ashtrays and the night-sky of tangier, he takes another smoke,
little artist doesn't paint for himself
statued replicator of somebody else

"ignorance is always so selfless and so kind"

his words form an echo at the end of his time
disapproval lingers in this great artful lie,
he's been played sideways, been handled and pawned
now the unimpressionist hangs
trapped, feeble
warned
// you are what you make yourself out to be //
angelique Jul 2020
breathing, just
memory corroded
please, please
remindlessness got me wrapped 'round its finger
again and again

this bed lies empty once more
insomnia wilts in this sangria sky
patchwork dreams corrode in thronging lies
eyelids flutter, drift outside

where crocodile-skinned zebras graze
and pygmalion crawls out the iris of lavender
outstretched hands offer wine and myrrh
statues rust into some orange-twine blur
this abstracted laugh breaks down
to a cough
and then a curse

and i'm floating again
stalking the earth
powder's all over the mezzanine
powder dusted on windowsill-and-tin
move on, forget

because i thought love was a subject
i could learn,
i thought there were rules and formulas
on how to love,
when to love,
why we love

i am interrupted by
the humming
of ground-teeth machinery, oh
heaven's turned upside down
and what am i going to do?
five A.M on angel street
another minute shifts,
another minute dies
as i wait here without you
perfect love? perhaps in a dream
angelique Jul 2020
dawn hangs low today, its
golden whisper faint, breath
harboured deep in thought,
its drowsy light drips
down onto the armchair

where, in his worn hands, he holds
silk-sheets and a bottle of wine, flickering
and grainy around the edges

and sitting on his bed, a woman from forever-ago
is dressed in her finest sepia, glass in hand
everyone is placid, frozen, still
for laughter will not escape this room

for this is purely a memory etched in celluloid,
a memory captured in time-withered skin
a memory that burns cold under naked-tongue,
spurred by a primal thirst and a nagging revere
for love, which has trickled away
and buried itself under lashings of trickery

and this place once dripped
with decadence, persian rugs
floating on currents of
fine champagne and amethyst

now, bottles pile up, mirrors flicker
money ebbs and flows
and he lights another pipe,
lungs heaving under
***** and avarice
and lust

love
...its final fleeting moments...
are etched only on film
blanched and faded of colour
laying parched under the oblong sun
angelique Jun 2020
The sun, it strays in
Although
It doesn't stay in
Pooling in little dapples
Of invisible white

Pauses
Cavorts in candlelight
Slips under an
Angular promise
A coveted whisper

Then melts to mauve
Drips out of blackened-skies

Oh Love, she's arrived
Once at last
She's lying by your side
You turn over to face her

Only you're dreaming
For she's gone
It's like she was
Never There

She whispers in flattery
She's fluent in heartache
A soothing bite of regret
Raw-edged and untwined

You're sure she's called something else
'Cause she drives you insane
How you wish she wasn't nameless
How you wish you knew her name

So you call her Love
Floating cadenza
Can't capture her on camer-a
Write about her in prose
Ether-born,
Out of some gorgeous unknown
And forever onwards
You'll wonder why she
Had to leave
Why she
Had to go
if this doesnt make sense. love doesnt make sense to me either
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