I'm waiting for my tea to arrive in this hotel lobby.
The slow piano music playing in the background
Is more familiar than it should be.

I should be calm, but all of the couples around me
Are exchanging sweet nothings and sweeter kisses
And it makes me jealous
Because I wish you were here
So we could do the same.

Tea is here, love.

We were kissing each other and I stopped to appreciate him. He asked why, “Nothing” i replied. But his lips curled up that it popped a dimple before it became a smile. I smiled back and kissed him on his forehead down to his right cheek and back to his lips.

Deep inside I was talking to him heart to heart, lips on each others lips, touch by touch, side by side cuddling each other. I never had the guts to tell him why. Even when i asked him the morning after, i didn't managed to say the words i have been keeping all night. I made an excuse, to not make it awkward. The most stupidest thing I have ever done.

Tell me how one does simply forget about the little things that does not matter to others but meant a lot for you?

I feel alive. I feel alright
But what is right?
My chest never felt this tight
I can’t breathe but i might

I might as well die
Grasping for air, i need more
Before i close my eyes
Just one more time
And i will die

Die with sadness intertwined
Juxtaposed with over reacting
I need wine to feel fine
I can’t breathe but let it be

I can’t breathe
I’m going to die

You can't let go of what makes you sad because it once made you feel so delighted. You can't and you won't ever try to move on in the first place because you still believe that things might change and it will make you giddy all over again. But as the time goes by, as you go through the process of detaching oneself from that person which is a very disturbing phase of moving on.

You are reminded of all the delightful memories that you had with them but at the same time those memories becomes morbid to even comprehend. You are reminded as well that what you thought was making you joyous, was never the right thing. It comes as whispers from your conscious mind telling you that the memories you valued most was wrong and everything was a lie.

A somewhat alternative reality composed of cobweb of lies. Made to somewhat manipulate you into thinking that they are really interested in you. You kept insisting that there might be things that are real.

You are in denial that at some point the things you thought aren't lies. It felt dreamy and felt like it's real but you were just dreaming while your eyes are open.

Now you're aware that what you feel is the process of detaching oneself to the person who you love so dearly but didn't loved you back.

Sweating, hurting;
I've been working all day.
Lifting, heaving;
I don't mind, I'm strong.
Chopping, gripping;
I can take it, the pain is nothing.
Carrying, moving;
My mind starts wandering.
Raising, digging;
I say "I'm so tired..."
Pushing, straining;
Isn't that how you feel every day?
Shaking, holding;
It's cutting into my hands.
Don't deny it. You know you want to quit.
Kneeling, struggling;
Just let it go, you'll feel so much better.
Trembling, groaning;
Drop it, **** it! Let it crush you!
Seizing, hoisting;
I will not.
Hefting, bearing;
Yes, you will. Let the weight crush you NOW!
Shoving, throwing;
No! You can't do that! That's not fair-
Falling, relaxing;
I'm so tired, but now I can rest peacefully.
Sleeping, dreaming;
I've thrown my past away.