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 Jan 2017 Angel
BlueRain
Sometimes I wish I were dead
Locked in a wooden cage and buried six feet under
Just so I wouldn't have to feel.
Or deal with the reality before me
Sometimes I wish my heart could be ripped out &
shattered to pieces before my eyes
To reflect the shattering I feel on the inside.
Sometimes I wish I would stop feeling...

These tears that fall
Are seen as a sign of weakness
But what these tears are
Are a testament of hardships;
Of trying times only the Bravest could survive

These tears
Are a reflection of the open wounds
that still pulsate
Desiring care and healing
But are instead seared open,
& made to bleed all over again.
          Welcome to my heart...*                      

*#BlueRain
2017
 Jan 2017 Angel
lemon
Untitled
 Jan 2017 Angel
lemon
I dont yet
want to define
what we are
with a single word
like
"together"

We are soft
and caring
We hold eachother up
when the other would have fallen
We are within eachother's heart
day and night

That is more than
"together"
 Jan 2017 Angel
The Jolteon
The City in the abstract
People are fearful
The night, the dice
The vice, the crime
Come here and see
We live and bleed
On the streets
For each other
For each of the others
Kept out of the burbs
During the time of GI's

Now that the bleached
From the burbs are moving
They try and run us out
Try to clean the streets
With words of hate
Eyes of division
Tastes too expensive for
Us others
They claim the remedy
To clean these streets
For their pleasing

But please I beg you
Don't you see
These streets were never meant
For you
They were never meant
To be clean
Context: I was born and raised in San Francisco. As wealthier lighter skinned people flock back into U.S. cities (like San Francisco) from the suburbs they push out all the people of color and working class groups that were originally excluded from other opportunities outside the city. There is a cleansing happening - a form of neocolonialism, driven by capital, built on the backs of the oppressed.
 Jan 2017 Angel
eclipso child
..where's the reason to wait..
             ..how's coming..
        ..is it my fault..or your's..

..there are too many people waiting to be seen..
                ..why..

               ..guess why..

       ..we still ain't the only one walking here..

                      ,,'cause there's all ways so many thing's to see..hear..feel..
'
             ..and live trough them..
                            ..reason..

                       ..there you go..
 Jan 2017 Angel
Liz
Slower
 Jan 2017 Angel
Liz
I cannot explain
The dullness that has invaded
My tired brain.
I don't know why
I don't want to try
To do the things
I know I should.

I can't be bothered
With questions about
The future
About the world around me
Because finding the answers
Requires much more energy
Than I have to offer.

How do I learn
How do I grow
With this incessant
Low hum
Ringing throughout my body?
There's no ignoring it.

I'm a slave
To my unnecessary pain.
And I hate being too weak
Too busy
Too apathetic
To fight this depression.

All I can do is laugh
And keep pushing,
Hoping that one day
I will wake up with the power
To do something about
The sadness that keeps me
From everything I have yet to reach.

For now,
I'm so sorry
That my anxiety
And my sadness
Make me stagnant
In the face of truth.

I'm so sorry
That I feel the need to
Appologize for the way I am.
But the way I am
Is not the way I want to be.
 Jan 2017 Angel
Alessander
I don’t want to know about your ex
Don’t want to know about your daddy
Or your ******* coworkers or customers
Or your catty friends

Stop

Tonight begins the future

Some believe a wall against your back
Creates desperation
But it can also spark urgency
Clear the phlegm of memory
It can  protect
Your vulnerabilities  
Focus your vision

When getting jumped
First thing you scan for is a car or wall
The fists and kicks might ****** down
From everywhere like stony blizzards
But the pain is peripheral
Not ethereal
You’ll have a chance to dodge and block

Stop

Tonight begins the future

A future empty of splinters/thorns/shards
Of muscle aches, fatigue, or tremors
Of gooey ***, tar heroine, clunky *****
Dismembered torsos, sliced ears, dangling eyes
Red **** and blacker kisses

In turn I won’t burden you
With my *******
Won’t convert you into an airport carousel
I won’t unload
My unkempt baggage
Upon your frail façade
Turning turning turning
In circles
As weary passengers shuffle
To and fro
Frantically
Beneath buzzing phosphorescent

Stop

Tonight begins the future

Open and free
Like air over mountains
Like clocks un-tocked
Like silence hovering around the corner
A seed buried in ****** soil
A dream light has yet to touch


*Tonight begins our future
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