Angela Campbell: Favorites

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Untitled

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

manicsurvival

Untitled

The ache of my cramping stomach
gives me chills
and droplets fall down my cheek because
it hurts so much

the anger that comes with my greatness
has been described as a blessing in disguise
but the situation is entirely transparent
and my effort
goes
absolutely nowhere
because one moment of recognition does not suffice

I resent my parents because
they neglected me when
a chronic illness consumed my body
and for months I was alone
in my bed
immobile and miserable

I miss what could have been
it could have been everything I year for today
but I ****** up
twice
I miss us

I miss the days that I can't remember

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Something, But I Don't Know

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

bb

Something, But I Don't Know

Today, it snowed and it never snows here in this state and you told me once that this place was madness and I guess that's why we can't have snow because it is quiet and so gentle in nature and maybe we are just too noisy and inconsiderate and God knows we can never have anything white for too long without scuffing it up. I haven't been able to write anything like this about you in a while and for some reason I typed out an apology, about to press SEND like you even knew that I had anything to say about you in the first place. Once, when I was very small, I had a fever and my mother told me I was mumbling in my sleep like I was crazy but she didn't know at the time that I actually was, and somehow I don't think it's sheer madness to conclude that whether you believe in spirits in a bottle that grant your wishes or spirits in a bottle that can only pacify your misery for a night, neither can grant the wishes you may have made when you were cradling your cheek and your mom was trying to assure that Daddy always loves you. Suddenly, it isn't so insane to think that the glass slipper on the stairs could become your heels on the sidewalk at 1:30 AM and fantasy fades into reality not in a flow of water color, but in an unexpected explosion, and I realize that once upon a time I thought was a flame but I was only on fire, and now all I am is smoldering.

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Untitled

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

manicsurvival

Untitled

in my moment of despair
you came to my rescue
to my swollen eyes
and unkept hair
and your timing was perfect
so thank you,
for offering me comfort in the form of food
and thank you for holding my hand
and kissing me like there's no one else on Earth
but I can't forgive you for all the times you've asked
for us to sneak around
because I am wonderful
and you are wonderful
therefore,
we shall be wonderful together

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

insecure, depressed, emotionally unstable, whiny, with a drug problem.

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Jeremy Duff

insecure, depressed, emotionally unstable, whiny, with a drug problem.

If I had a cigarette
for every time a teacher, parent, or loved one told me I was worthless,
I'd have enough cigarettes
to clear my head.

And that's it,
that's all I need to do.
Maybe if I could clear my head and get some ******* sleep I could stop being so worthless.
Just give me a break, and something to distort reality and I'll be fine.

Friends have often asked me what's my drug of choice.
They say they've seen me ******, tweaking, drunk, numb, but they can't tell which I enjoy most.
My answer hasn't changed since I started using.
My answer simply remains: anything that gets me high.
Anything that allows me to think in a different way,
anything that mercifully allows me to not think is my drug of choice.

I'm sick, I have a disease, but I don't need your help.
I don't sleep or eat, but I don't need your help.

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Love, Smoke, and Cough are hard to hide

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Brandi

Love, Smoke, and Cough are hard to hide

I like the ones with the devilish look to them
but you're seraphic even on your worst day

If you looked a tad bit naughty when being mischievous
instead of so ******* sweet
I think I'd fall harder for you
and faster than when Lucifer tumbled headlong from heaven

Like the morning star, I probably wouldn't have given a **** during the descent
Expecting the hurt when I hit
But loving every second of it
Since the pain was worth every ounce of the pleasure

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Hungry Love

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Brandi

Hungry Love

The Whole Foods vampire
Works behind the bread counter
I want to lick the flour dust
Off his ivory fingertips
And explore his body's every inch

I'd like to see that skin in the
moonlight
To see him really come alive
Reflecting the glimmer of pale life
That white can show on other white

I'd like to leave my marks all over him
Trace my desire upon his skin
Brush of red lipstick
Delicate pink scratches
Tender blue love bites

For a second he smiles at me
Like he's seen my whole fantasy
Then hands my sliced bread to me
And asks if that is all I need...

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Max,

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Brandi

Max,

Remember the time we ate shrooms
and spent the night lying in a graveyard
my shoe broke on the long walk home
and you carried me across the parking lot
because there could have been glass

Remember the time you saved me
from a boy I didn't want to kiss
you hid me at the top of a rocket ship
and every time he tried to enter
you shoved him down with your foot

Remember the times we laid side by side
on the cold wooden floor and blasted music
all night long till the stars ceased to shine

Remember the time you got out of jail
and walked to my house
to crawl into my bed but found another boy there instead
you quietly left and I had no clue
till you confessed later

Remember the time you left early in the morning
to catch your flight
and I didn't wake up
but when I did there were two CDs on my pillow
that you had spent all night making

Remember the time you said I was wifey material
after I danced on stage
at a white rave
in my black bra

Remember the time I dyed my hair green
and met your visiting girlfriend
and you said I looked like medusa
I wanted to sock you

Remember the time we got drunk and took xanax
and laid in my bed
you made your move then
and I giggled during our kiss
because I was high and scared it'd change us
but it hurt your feelings on accident

Remember the time I started hooking up
with your best friend/roommate
and you had to sleep on the couch
I'm sorry I was so callous

Remember the time you sent me
a christmas present
it was a build-able straw
the best thing anyone has ever given me

Remember the times you tried to love me
and I wouldn't let you
now you're gone chasing ******
and I miss you so much
that I write to you all the time
I write about you
because I can't stop talking to you
even when you disappear

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Image

Jan 2014 Angela Campbell

Andrew Durst

Image

I used to spend time
Worrying about
How other people
Looked at me.
              Until I asked myself;
      Is there
      Anyone
      I really
      Need to
      Impress?