Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Angela Moreno Aug 2016
Please do not wake me,
While I am dreaming,
For it is only in my dreams
That I ever get to hold him.
When I ask for those five extra minutes,
I am asking for five minutes
That I will never know
With my eyes open.
But when I am dreaming,
There he is.
His warmth is there,
I can feel his heartbeat,
His hands feel just as real.
When I am dreaming,
For a moment he is mine.
I acknowledge that everything I am saying
Sounds just like desperation,
But then I must ask you
If you have ever been in love.
And if you have,
Then I urge you to recall
The longing
Of simply wanting to hold
The one you love.
Of simply wanting to be near him.
I can not have him.
He does not belong to me.
But please do not wake me.
Do not steal my dreams.
Please, allow me to hold him,
If only in my sleep.
Please.
Please.
Allow me that.
Angela Moreno Jun 2015
I sat there alone
Despondent and turning numb
Thinking of the ones who left me
And the ones I left behind.

The room should have been filled
Yet the silence proved otherwise.
I was finally and fearfully
Alone

When a hand placed an object in front of me
A shiny, silver box.
I peeked inside and just as I'd hoped
The promise of a home.

My eyes followed the hand
And rested on your face
As a smile overwhelmed mine.
You remembered.

I lept up in joy
And into your arms
Burying my face
In the warmth of your shoulder.

I held on so tightly
Wishing I could hold you tighter,
Wishing for a way
To press our bodies closer together.

The people I could not see before
Suddenly appeared before my eyes.
I smiled at their embarrassment,
Unashamed at our public embrace.

You kissed my ear so gently
Whispering to me, "I love you."
I smiled and wished to say the same.
A stirring came over my body.

And at once I woke up.
That **** alarm clock.
Angela Moreno Jan 2014
I weep over my tendencies
And this future of mine.
Inevitably a drunken wreck
In five or ten years time.
This is not who I wished
Or ever thought I would become
A woman so dependent
On her whiskey and ***.
The poor children in this film
Are weeping for their father.
And soon his drunken state
Ruins his wife and daughters.
But the soul my heart goes out to
Is in fact the drunken one,
For I knew that he could never win
Once the war had begun.
I myself feel his pain
And i wish there was a way
To rid me of this vile disease
Before it seals my fate.
But could there be a way
To rid the artist from my bones?
To take away the way
My soul weeps and groans?
I fear my fate is sealed
And I cannot stop the storm
From raining over me
'Til I find myself conformed
To the stereotypes of artists
And who we're doomed to be.
So for my future, I tell you,
I moan and wail and weep.
I anguish over my tendencies
I fear this future of mine.
But most of all, I weep for the day
I first discovered wine.
A poem composed after feeling a strong inspiration from one of Disney's newest films, Saving Mr. Banks.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
Oh how I wish to lie beside you
Beneath the eyes of the stars
And trace the harsh outline of your lips
In the dark.
To rest my head on your chest,
Listen to your heart beat
As the earth breathes steadily
Beneath us
Promising to hold us up
And grateful to inhale our love.
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
Waking up,
With my head
Pressed into your shoulder,
And you with a kiss
Upon your cheek--
It is mornings like this
That leave me certain
That the sun rises
But for no other reason
Than to catch a glimpse
At the beautiful picture
That is us,
Jealous that the moon
Should get to see
All the beauty
That is you and I.
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I recall the first time
I heard my bones crackle
When I rolled out of bed.
It was the same morning
That I saw that wrinkle by my eyes--
It was thin and new.
Thin and new,
But defined.
It was definitely there.
I did not mind it all that much.
My bones crackled but did not ache,
And the wrinkle was,
In its own way,
Flattering.
If only I could be that young again.
For now,
As I roll out of bed,
The bones ache
And threaten to break,
And the reality of immortality sinks in.
Past the age of twenty-seven,
I never did grow old.
My mind and spirit stayed the same.
My dreams remained intact.
I had learned all I had to learn
About love,
About death.
And though I continue to learn little things
Each and every day,
By age twenty-seven,
I had learned all there was to learn
About life.
My mind has not aged since then.
I still wish to fly,
And to make people dance,
And to be the one to dance.
I want to climb a mountain,
Marry the spirit of the wilderness
With the young spirit of my soul.
Nothing has changed.
I feel as young as I ever did,
Only now,
I feel my body slowly giving up on me.
My heart still ready to soar,
But my body ready
For an eternal rest.
We're all just ticking time bombs disguised as dreamers.
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
He spies her in the crowd,
The girl he had hoped to forget.
Her bones are still as delicate
And her breathing
Just as shallow
As when he saw her last.
At night
She is most beautiful,
For she always raises her eyebrows
A bit higher
Once the moon shows face.
Angela Moreno Dec 2014
Today while cleaning out my closet
I found a small piece of you
A worn out flannel, frayed and tattered
Of both a red and black-ish hue.
For a moment I only held it
My mind emptier than hell.
Then as I stared at the void of my wall
My nose filled with your smell--
Stale cigarettes and spearmint gum
A taste on my tongue forgotten.
My mouth now dry, my lips curled in
My tongue now the taste of cotton.
I miss your touch, I miss your shoulder
I miss the whisper of your voice.
But then the whispers ceased, the blood began
And these days I drown in silent noise.
Today while cleaning out my closet
I found your shirt and pulled it on.
I lit a smoke, refreshed your scent
And faced the fact you are gone.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
All of my past romances
Have failed
Because I have tried
To make artists
Out of those
Who are not,
And I have tried
To tame the artists
Inside of those
Who undoubtedly are.
Angela Moreno May 2015
People tell me all the time:
"You fall in love too quickly.
You will always end up hurt."
And they are right.
But not the way they think.
I have love at first sight all the time.
But not like on the screen.
My first thought is never,
"God, I want to be with him."
Instead there is a soft, sympathetic
Piece of me
That goes out to everyone I meet.
A piece of me that would be willing
To give my beating heart to a stranger.
Because I was cursed with a love,
A love that has no reason.
And so the heartbreak
Comes not from a broken romance.
But because my heart is willing
To give itself away
And is broken to find
No one else is willing to do the same.
Angela Moreno Aug 2015
Please do not write me
And remind me how we were in love.
We were never in love.
We were merely kids
Who knew not the first thing about love.
We were simply victims
Of the seduction of other's words
Who loved to tell us
How beautiful we were,
And to two young, naive, foolish artists
(Who knew nothing of the world)
Nothing was more important than beauty
Whether it be true
Or whether it be false.
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
I shall never understand myself
And how I can sell my body
So carelessly
To a complete stranger
All in order
To feel a little bit wanted
To feel a little bit noticed
To feel a little less lonely
For fifteen minutes.
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
In the moment before
Your lips touched mine
In the shadow of the night,
I envisioned night's darkest darkness
Fill the space between our lips.
I imagined it disappearing slowly
As our lips grew closer,
The dark space between us
Waning like the moon
That watched us that night
In quiet secret.
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I guess I was just foolish,
Ruled by excitement and emotion.
They warned me
That the moment you stopped being lonely
I would become irrelevant.
I didn't want to believe them,
But come to think of it,
I've seen this play before.
I know you had no intention to hurt me,
Of course.
You were just following the script.
Yeah right.
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
Because, really, who were we to think
That you and I could trick love??
Who were we to think us smarter
Than the gods who rule above??
To think that we could outrun fate
To think we would be missed.
To ignore the warnings of those much wiser
To reach for that first kiss.
To think that we were more than stars
To think of our wisdom like jewels.
Really, who were we, my darling??
You and I were fools.
Angela Moreno Jun 2015
I'll tie a ribbon
Around
My finger
And add you
To the list
Of things
To
Never
Forget.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
My heart is breaking
Because today,
You, my sweet angel,
Saw me break.
I, who am supposed to be
Your rock,
Showed you that I indeed
Am so weak.
You were not supposed to see me
In such an awful state.
I did not know you were watching
And heard my pathetic cry.
My heart is breaking,
My sweet angel,
Because
I had hoped to raise you
The way I wish I had been:
Happy and naive
Clueless to the truth of the lie
That adults never cry.
Angela Moreno Oct 2015
I have trouble with myself
For as I look out into the world,
I see lives being saved,
Changes being made.
Scientists discovering,
Engineers building,
Inventors inventing--
And all I have to offer
Are a few sad poems,
Pathetic,
Fragile and bony,
Just like the hands that make them.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
It is a sure sign
That you have been hurt
One too many times
When someone
Is genuinely kind to you
And you do not know
How you are
Supposed to feel.
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
I loved you
Beyond our fleshly passions.
But it only took a second,
When I looked away
For me to lose you
In the sun.
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
He gave me a forever
In a world
Where we are only ever promised
A handful of years
And a life worth nothing more
Than a short vapor in the wind.

How do you thank someone
For something like that?
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
I never dream when I am asleep.
In fact, I hardly close my eyes.
The curse upon me from my birth
Shows its face, but in disguise.
They say that I am just an artist
Destined to live post being dead.
But deep down I know the truth:
It is just a sickness in my head.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
I never intended to be your hero.
I cared for you
And wanted to see you succeed.
But when it comes to heroism
I'm just as desperate as you.
Angela Moreno Apr 2016
You wanted something beautiful.
I wanted something hideous.
You wanted something light and flowery.
I wanted everything deep and heavy
Where at the very most
We could sit in soaking gardens
As the moths flew about us.
You wanted something lovely and normal.
I longed for us to be sick animals,
Near death, panting for breath
As we clutch each other in bed
Sinking in to an eternal sleep.
I wanted disease.
You wanted laughter and joy.
All I wanted was to weep together.
You hoped for sweet good nights,
Romantic love,
And a kiss with both the moon and the sun.
I ached for dirt beneath my nails,
Who is God?,
And the raw no touch of ***.
I destroyed something that could have been good.
I did not want good.
I wanted the yells, the bites, the fights--
Everything ugly.
Everything hideous.
How could you want so much beauty?
You promised you would never hurt me.
But that was all I wanted.
I wanted you to make me bleed,
And allow me five days to lick my wounds in the corner.
You wanted a fluffy tale out of a story book.
While I desired to be the tormented poet who wrote the books.
I hated everything you wanted.
You loved unconditionally.
You sought someone to make you whole,
Someone to complete you.
I wished to be broken,
Accepting of another,
So long as we were never anything more
Than two empty shells upon the beach,
Beside each other,
Yet hopeful and anxious to be swept away forever
By the cold black sea.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
If home is where the heart is, then a heartbroken home is no home at all.
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
I am nothing
Like the person
You thought
I was.
Angela Moreno Apr 2016
We take this ride in silence.
Not a word,
Not a cough,
Not a single glance.
I wonder why we go visit your mother
When it only ever upsets you,
And I know that for the next three days
I will only hear five or six words from you.
I wonder when this became us:
Sharing everything from bathroom to bed,
Yet as close to strangers as we could be.
I wonder when you stopped smiling,
And if I thought hard could I place a date.
My mind runs back to the day
I bought you that Lewis Carroll book.
You had tears in your eyes,
As you pressed the open pages to your chest
But I had never see you smile brighter.
I wonder why we never mention your father
And why you feel you have to fight so hard
For your mother's approval.
I wonder what happened that night
When you pushed me onto the bed
And started drowning me in cigarette kisses.
But the moment I placed my hands on your frail body
You pushed me away,
"I don't need your help,
I can undress myself."
I wonder what I did
That turned you into a widow
In a bride's body.
I wonder if this Jericho between us
Will ever shatter
If we yell loud enough.
And as we take this ride in silence,
Your body turned away from me,
Staring out the window,
Your eyes slowly closing,
I wonder how much longer we will last.
Angela Moreno Feb 2016
It's how the greatest stories all begin.
But someone usually dies.
Angela Moreno Aug 2015
If it happens I shall die tonite,
As it seems to me, and I fear I might,
I pray that you remember me
As the artist I had hoped to be.

If in my sleep my last breath
Succumbs to the call of death
Please remember all the love I made
And do not be shy to remember the hate.

If tonite I shall die while in my bed
(Though I wish I could stay and not be dead)
See my blue lips and remember Adam's song.
With the words under my sheets so you may sing along.
Angela Moreno Oct 2014
Never again will I ever write
A single love poem for you.
Never again will a paper or a thought
Be dedicated to you.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Never again will I hear "forever"
And follow with a thought of you.
Never again will I paint lovers in rain
And picture them me and you.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Never again when the phone rings
Will I hope that it is you.
Never again will I close my eyes
And sleep with dreams of you.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Never again will I ever love
The way that I loved you.
Never again will I ever want
Anyone but you.
I loved you.
Angela Moreno Sep 2016
I'm in love with the fact
That you are in love with me.
But I am not in love with you.
I'm the most selfish person I know.
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
Remember those endless nights
After those cutthroat days
Where your fingers had the power
To set off one hundred nerves
With a single touch, light pinch.
It was more than enough
To make those beads of sweat
Run down the backs of my legs
And my mind to say,
"You and I must be immortals."
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
It is when I hear you speak to her,
That I realize
You have finally begun
To think in color again.
And it is now that I understand,
Just because you make someone laugh,
It does not mean,
That you make them happy.
Angela Moreno Jan 2015
I feel like I'm turned inside out
My tenderness exposed
And ready to be destroyed.
My vulnerability is shouting.
I'm naked and alone.
Wolves are clawing at my skin
Tearing me to shreds.
Skinny and bruised.
Out of breath.
Darkness folds his hand.
Walls are melting.
Nothing at all feels right.
I'll hide my face in my arms
And hope I can forget.
Angela Moreno Sep 2016
Though I dream of sleeping beside you,
The dream is even greater,
To wake up
In the morning
With you by my side
And know that you stayed
By my flesh and bones
All through the night.
Angela Moreno Jan 2016
I watched you breathe your last,
And, oh, how it was marvelous.
You opened the door,
Greeted death with a kiss to the cheek,
And gracefully stepped into eternity.
I had never seen such dignity.
I am certain they assigned you
The angel at the gate,
With a beauty too grand
Even for the heavens.
I am sure you are adored.
I only wish I had gone with.
If it is something lovely,
Send me an invitation.
Angela Moreno Jul 2015
Unfortunately,
The human heart
Does not stop
Beating
When it breaks.

That would be too merciful.
Life isn't fair.
Angela Moreno Jul 2016
You said you loved her
Because she cared about you.
You said that you had never met anyone
More selfless than she.
I believe you.
She really is something wonderful.
I am happy for you.
I am only having trouble piecing,
How you never knew that I cared.
How it ever slipped past you.
How you never knew that I would have died for you,
Because I know I told you every day.
Angela Moreno Jun 2015
He never pretended to be
Something he was not.
♢♢♢
I simply placed him
On a white horse,
Where he neither belonged
Nor wanted to be
In the first place.
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I don't know.
I was just sitting by the pond,
Looking at the ducks,
And I got to thinking.
If I could be any animal in the world,
I would be a duck.
I have never seen a sad duck.
I want to be a duck,
Because ducks live with everything
I hope to find amongst people.
They simply want to be together,
Not saying a single word,
Just enjoying each other's presence,
In complete peace and tranquility.
And they never leave anyone behind.
Angela Moreno Apr 2016
I saw the way you smiled at her
And in that moment I realized
That you and I will never be.
Not because you love her so
But because I would never allow it.
Your happiness is always first.
It is all that matters to me.
And in that moment it was clear,
She made you happier than I am ever capable of.
I watched her give you something that I can never give:
Joy upon your face.
All I have ever given you
Is my worry,
Paranoid apologies,
Desperate tears,
And the promise to love you unconditionally
Forever and ever.
But I can not make you happy
So you will never be mine.
Angela Moreno Jun 2015
I wish you weren't sober
The day that you died,
Because I know there was sincerity
In every tear that you cried.
No pills in your stomach
That you used to use.
Nothing to blame
For you tying the noose.
It was not the *****
Distorting your mind
Just you being sure
That you wanted to die.
Nothing to numb
All the hurt in your heart
Just every raw feeling
Before you could depart.
When I think of the pain
Your mind gave to yourself
I know that before heaven
You went through a hell.
I wish you weren't sober
The day that you died.
I wish I had saved you.
I'm sorry. I tried.
Jon
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
Jon
I hope that when I die,
They find every letter
I ever wrote you,
Every poem
I penned for you,
Every recording of every song
I ever sang for you,
And every day,
Every memory,
I recorded on paper with pen
So that they may know for certain
How much I always loved you
And how much I always will.
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
I know not what love is,
For my heart instead is one of pain,
If not anger and regret.
I knew nothing of tenderness
Until you took me strongly in your arms.

In your arms I am safe,
Hidden behind a steel gate,
Safe from the bombardment
Of thought, of doubt, of loneliness.

And yet in your strength
I find a certain soft something,
Sweet like honey and salted like tears.
It is the thing that moves me
To return this tenderness.
To hold you like a child in my arms,
To kiss your forehead,
And give you what is left
Of this tired, bleeding heart--
A pathetic offering, but sincere
As all I have to give.

Jon, my love, there is peace and perfection here
To see you sleeping by my side
And to know if I have ever loved
I have loved you.
Wholly,
And with all of my being.
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
I do not mean to be so difficult.
I do not mean to be irrational.
I do not mean to hide away from you,
And lie when you ask about my feelings.
It's not me.
It's you.
It's entirely you.
Because all I care about is you.
I pray for your well being
Far beyond my own.
You are my every waking thought.
You are my every peaceful dream.
You are every light I have ever seen
Since the day you vanished my darkness.
You are every perfect lovely thing
That not even in a hundred years
Could all the finest poets think up.
You are peace and perfection
And beauty incarnate.
You are my world.
But you are also every worry
That I have ever had.
You are every tear
That has ever fallen from my eye.
You are every heartache
I have ever endured.
You are every sleepless night
That has ever plagued me.
And yet I can not let you go.
For how could I let
Heaven's most beautiful creation
Slip through my fingers
As if I did not know what I had??
As if I did not know
That you are the miracle I saught.
As if I did not know
That I am blessed beyond all blessings.
I'm sorry I'm an *******.
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
I love you.
And when the hills stop breathing
I still love you.
And when the storms stop rushing
I still love you.
And when the world stops turning
I still love you.
And when the oceans dry and earth crumbles
I find
That I know nothing else
But my love for you,
Strong
And unshaken
By the quaking earth.
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
Every part of you is beautiful.
Every thing I can see,
Every thing I can touch.
Every thing that is you.
To see you
Is to sit in more awe
Than one thousand sunsets could provide.
To hear your voice,
To simply hear your breathing
Is to hear angels singing
And babies being born.
The smell of your skin
Sends me somewhere very far away,
Some place perfect and peaceful
And full of wonder.
The taste of your lips
Is sweeter than any nectar or honey
Than this earth could ever offer.
And the touch from your hand
Is absolute ecstasy
That I have never known.
And yet,
In all your beauty
I know that I do not need eyes to be in awe,
And without my ears
I would still hear singing.
Though I love the linger
Of your skin on my own,
I would remember you without your scent,
Sweet and beautiful.
I need no mouth to love you,
And had I no hands,
I could still feel you
And love you all the same.
For it is what rests in your heart
That I desire
To cherish and protect and love.
It is something deeper than my senses,
Far beneath your skin,
And closer to the soul.
It is the same thing
That allows me
To place my head on my pillow tonight,
Peaceful and contented
Despite the chaos
In the world about me.
Angela Moreno May 2017
I waited in agony
For years to be yours.
I waited in pain
For the day I could love you
Without loving from a distance.
But no one told me
That loving you
Would hurt just as badly
As when I could not.
Angela Moreno Mar 2017
Leave me.
Please leave me.
Because I could never leave you.
But I know
That as long as we are together
I will only ever keep hurting you.
I love you.
Jon, I love you so much.
I wake up, and I think of you
Before I even think about breathing.
I would die for you
Without hesitation.
I really do mean that.
But every day I wake up
And I resent myself more and more
For the many ways
That I have hurt you.
Hurting you
Was the very last thing
I ever intended to do.
I would die before
I ever intended to hurt you.
And yet I have done it.
And continue to do it.
I don't deserve you.
I can't even pretend to deserve you.
Please.
Please leave me
Before I ever hurt you again.
Oh my sweetest,
I have never loved anyone
The way I love you.
Angela Moreno Mar 2017
I love the way the sun rises
And peaks through my curtains,
Casting sharp figures of light on my ceiling,
For it reminds me
Of the flecks of white
That fill the gaps of blue
In your eyes.
The sun pouring through my window
Guarantees that you are the first thought
To cross my mind
In the early morning.
It promises that every day
Before I even rise,
I have thought of you
And your mirroring freckles
On either side of your face
Right above your lips,
And of the chip on your tooth
That reveals itself each time you laugh
Making me thankful
That I have found the one
I want to share my life with
And the one I want to fall asleep to
Every night.
Next page