Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Just one cut,
During the night,
Crimson red that feels so right.

Drops that last all through the night,
Your only friend,
A shiny knife.

The ones you love,
Only judge,
so no one knows,
The horrible curse.

You start out young,
Then move on,  
The marks are deep,
The scars are long.

The ones that stop you,
Care the most,
The ones that don't,
Just let you go...

You try to stop,
But thoughts come back,
You mark again,
It's not your last.

You are the smart,
You hide the marks,
Beneath layers of cloth,
In hidden spots.

The very next day,
the thoughts come back,
It starts all again,
the marks are back,
that forever last

Only some,
Who truly know,
The life of having a horrible curse....
When I start thinking about a subject too much I write poetry about it. This is an unedited poem I wrote a little while ago.  I know some people who are going through it and some people who aren't here anymore because of it. So I wrote a poem because it's on my mind
 Jul 2015 Angela Moreno
Matt
I sit underneath
The shade
Of a Eucalyptus tree

Please Mr. Koala
Don't fall on me

So relaxing
And quiet
I feel a cool breeze

Ohhh goodness
Time to give my p**
A little tease

I stroke myself
With cocoa butter lotion
Up and down

Yes I am really
Going to town

I point my *******
At my own face

A big explosion
Yes I enjoy the taste!

Hehe
Eventually I'll get my **** together.
I won't be able to do it at the rate
you may want, and for that I'm sorry.

To be honest I'm just as sick of this scene as you are, maybe more.

It has a certain appeal though, a certain flavour, a cut loose and not give two flying ***** about anything taste...
I say I'm okay
but I'm not
I'll have my good days
and I'll have my worst
but until the day
I go to bed without
a feeling of dread
or tears on the bed
pounding in my head
the inability to catch my breath
I'm not okay

I won't truly be okay
Until the day
I can say hello
without having to rehearse it
or wonder if I said it
too quiet
or too loud
if it even came out
and worrying if
the conversation will go past that

If the most I say
about how I'm feeling
is okay
and you had to ask in the first place
I'm probably not

If I'm more worried
if you're okay
than I'm probably not
because until I unlearn
how to pick everybody but myself up
I'm not

I say I'm okay
so you don't have to worry about me
but I'll still cling to all the care
and love you give to me
because I'm still unsure
if its all I get
so until the day
I don't feel the need
for reassurance that you care for me
I'm not okay

Until the day
I can no longer relate to this
I'm not okay
but I'm working on it
i have no energy
to do anything.
not even cry.
i lost too much blood.
the blade sincerely cut away.
at my body.
im shattered.
weak.
lost..
i need you.
come find me
it's dark here.
grab my hand and pull me out baby.
please.
im cold.
im weak
you're strong.
save me
before it's too late.
before i cant breath.
Tribute to my childhood hero
Joni Mitchell

The album covers beaten
The player old and worn
The needle barely tracking
From all the scratches borne
Upon the vinyl surfaces
Of albums that were stored
Unlocking wonderous worlds
Of music I adored

I would lie in cloistered darkness
To hear a voice so sweet
There I'd usher in the nighttime
To worship at her feet
Struck by earthy lyrics
But somewhat strange
Unearthly tunes
To trace with disconnected fingers
The most sensitive of wounds

How sad that good songs
Unsung heroes
Like "Morning Morgantown"
Wouldn't live forever
To "buy your dreams a dollar down"

Recall "Big Yellow Taxi"?
You can rest assured I do!
And "Ladies of the Canyon"
And her epic album "Blue"
Most folks recall a song
Entitled "Both Sides Now"
'Bout clouds and love and life
But they do not know
Her poetic expression
Unearthed deep jazzy riffs
Elitism. Hypocrisy.
And "Summer Lawns" that "Hissed"

At the pinnacle of greatness
Her album "Court and Spark"
Will always be a touchstone
For purity in art

A deeply troubled woman
At certain times in life
Loving truely... deeply
In the "Industry" meant strife

A versatile genius
Her lyrics resonate
Fot the very thing that scarred her
Also made her great

---

At times I'd sit and ponder
A self-inflicted crime
But I would postpone the act
To hear her one last time
Her songs touched me so deeply
Places only she could know
With her voice to guide me
I found a place to go
She became my inspiration
My metaphor. My muse.
Joni Mitchell told my heart
To write of its abuse

I aspire to higher standards
A perfection as it were
And should my work be recognized
I owe it all to her.
Though endlessly I search
For perfect sense of art
It's brought on by

INPERFECTION

But a kind and loving heart.

What I saw in her self portrait
Was a humble, gentle face
She was the greatest mentor

a human life could grace


SoulSurvivor
(C) 10/14/2014
Rewritten
(C) 7/17/2015
Judy Collins. Joan Baez. Carol King.
Just to name a few female
Singer/songwriters of the 60s and 70s
But my favorite was Joni Mitchell.
Her songs "spoke to me".
I was often suicidal as a teen.
But I would lie and listen to music
and let her voice talk me out of it.
I loved her poetic expression
And she is why I am a
poet/songwriter today.

---
Why, o why?
Must she be
so hard to find?

A woman, depressed,
with scars in her mind.
A woman to **** and to feed,
wanting things I can buy.
A woman, without need
of a meaningful life,
never to be a wife.

Why, o why,
do these women
only want happiness?

I just want someone
who is ugly inside.
I just want someone
to wallow with,
someone with which
to share all of this
beautiful anguish.

Why, o why?
Why do they hide
the pain inside?

Can't they see
that their sighs
are more pretty
than a fake smile?
Can't they feel
the weight of
of the skies?

Why, o why?
Next page