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Louise Dec 2024
El pelo de tu funda de almohada.
Tu suelo.
El pelo de tu suelo.
Por supuesto que pienso en ti,
y por supuesto ya lo hicimos,
solo que en mi cabeza...
Ahora que estás al otro lado del oceano Pacifico,
puedo sentirte mas cerca.

El polvo de mi tocadiscos.
Mi cuello.
El polvo de mi cuello.
Por supuesto que son solo pensamientos,
y por supuesto que es fugaz,
y pronto terminará.
Con solo el oceano más grande del mundo separándonos,
finalmente puedo flotar.
6/12
Louise Oct 2024
How softly you unearthed this heart,
dusted off the sand from my hands...
How tenderly you knew exactly what to do,
take me away off the west to my rescue...
How you paced my tomb that burns,
dug deep enough skin from the earth...
How painstakingly you wrapped me warm,
blanketed me from pain of eternity's harm...
It seems like you have seen me beyond
these shards and sands of time.
It feels as though I am a secret you kept
since the antiquities of light.
It seems like you have touched me before
the very invention of the word skin.
It feels as though you have built me long ago
brick by brick, in your buried cities within.
“Ahmanet” series from Halloween 2024: PART I 🎃
Louise Apr 2017
Dad wouldn't go to museums with me anymore
Dad wouldn't pick me up from school anymore
Dad wouldn't buy me my favorite sweets
anymore
Dad wouldn't take me to the mall
anymore
Dad wouldn't play pretend-princess-and-king with me anymore
Dad wouldn't go see movies with me
anymore
Dad wouldn't finish my popcorn before me anymore
Dad wouldn't force me to eat my peas and greens anymore
Dad wouldn't sing and rock me to sleep
anymore
Dad wouldn't let me sleep peacefully and soundly anymore
Dad wouldn't kiss my boo-boos goodbye anymore
Dad wouldn't help heal my scars
anymore
Dad wouldn't wipe my tears anymore
Dad wouldn't stop them from flowing for a few years more
Dad wouldn't piggy-back ride me up his back anymore
Dad just wouldn't carry me up anymore
Dad wouldn't fight the dragons in my head anymore
Dad wouldn't break down the walls he had built himself anymore
Dad wouldn't let boys hurt me the way he did anymore
It's been nineteen years, dad, wouldn't you want to be a part of my life anymore?
Louise 5d
Si muero, traducirías mis poemas?
¿Le contarías a tu parte del mundo sobre mi pueblo?
Si muero, interpretarías mis cartas?
¿Te contarías a ti mismo cómo eres mi universo?
Si debo morir, serás mis nuevos ojos?
¿Lo verías hasta el final, sintiéndote vivo?
Si debo morir, serás mi voz y mis manos?
¿Seguirías hablándole a todo, guiándome a la nada?
Si muero, por favor traducirías mis poemas, mi amor.
Por favor, cuéntale al mundo la historia de un reino sin corona.
Por favor, cuéntales sobre un amor que supera la lógica y la distancia.

//

If I die, would you translate my poems?
Would you tell your part of the world about my town?
If I pass, would you interpret my letters?
Would you tell yourself about how you are my universe?
If I must die, would you be my new eyes?
Would you see it through the end, do it while feeling alive?
If I must pass, would you be my voice and hands?
Would you still speak to everything, lead me to nothingness?
If I die, please translate my poems, my love.
Please tell the world the tale of a kingdom without a crown.
Please tell them of a love that surpasses logic and distance.
Louise Jun 24
Est-ce ce que font les vrais hommes?
Ils répondent et font preuve de clarté.
Est-ce ce que font les vrais amoreux?
Ils expriment et montrent leur vulnérabilité.
Je fredonne:
Que dois-je faire?
Que dois-je faire?
Que dois-je faire?
Que dois-je faire?
Que doit faire une vraie femme?
Que doit faire un vrai amoreux?
Mais quel choix ai-je?
Quel autre choix ai-je?
Est-ce que c'est ce que font les vrais hommes?
Il revient, clairement.
Est-ce ce que fait un vrai amant?
Il exprime son amour, avec vulnérabilité.
Maintenant, je sais quoi chanter;
Je prie pour savoir ce que je fais.
Louise Nov 2024
Find me if you dare, then leave me.
Leave me how you found me, I dare you.
Mind you, I do not care, believe me.
Care for me but I won’t mind, mind you.
Take this skin, score, and sear it,
it’s yours for burning and breaking.
Take these eyes, watch how they ablaze,
stare at them as you would a sandstorm.
Take this body, bring and burn it,
or take it as a trophy to new civilizations.
Take these hands, lock and never lose them,
clasp them shut so they may never be lethal.
Take this heart, see how it resurrects,
look how you made it golden and eternal.
“Ahmanet” series from Halloween 2024: PART III 🎃
Louise Oct 2024
But that's it, right?
People are forces of nature.
We are nature ourselves.
And nature sometimes hurts,
if not often. Or always.
We call them calamities.
But why can you find the word “calm” in it?
But that's just how it really is.
That's nature, literally.
But that's it, right?
We touch and we destroy.
Because people are forces of nature.
We kiss and we wave goodbye.
Because we are nature ourselves.
We're like ripcurls that hurts.
Almost always.
We are calamities.
And that's just how it is, right?
God made us to either kiss or ****.
Why do you think womb rhymes with tomb?
That's just how love is, isn't?
It could save you, yet it could shake you.
It could help you, yet it could hurt you.
It could be the most giving, generous
yet it could be unforgiving, disastrous.
It could be your calm and serenity,
and it could be your storm and calamity.
"Baler" series, part one
Louise Mar 2024
Penitencia número uno:
intenta no pensar en el color de mi piel ni en mi cuerpo.

Penitencia número dos:
sigue haciendo lo que haces, finge que no quieres mis besos.

Penitencia número tres:
trata de imaginarme como si fuera la luna de tu marea.
Como si no pudieras estar sin mí por la noche.

Penitencia número cuatro:
intenta orar a Dios por mí cuando ya me haya ido para siempre.
Como si pudieras vivir sin mí en este mundo loco.

Penitencia número cinco:
Déjame ir y regálame el camino de salida
si no puedes darme el cielo.

Seis, nunca vuelvas a mi país.

Siete, nunca cierres los ojos cuando empiezo a salir con alguien.

Ocho, nunca apagues las luces e imagínate en tu cuarto.

Nueve, no me escuches cuando digo "vuelve".

Diez, ni siquiera pienses más en mí.
Una lista muy corta y fácil. Oraré por ti.

"Semana Santa Sadgirl Series": no. 5
Louise Jul 2019
As if on cue, on my second step out,
one bell rang; that of the sorbetero's cart
and on my sixteenth,
that of the bell by Dominican.
I sighed "yes, I know, I'm going."
I appreciate the practice.
I appreciate the background music.
Diyan Sa May Mga Nilad #7: Two Bells At The Two Castles
Louise Jul 2019
This isn't home to us, just an illusion thereof.
An illusion we love to play in,
eat in, sleep in.
And when it rains, it doesn't pour;
it is but ever dry.
When it's dry, all I do is die.
I die. I die. I die.
Only to live tomorrow and yet again
play, eat and sleep.
This isn't love, just an illusion thereof.
An illusion we love to pour in, die in
and live in again.
Diyan Sa May Mga Nilad #6: Two Castles Playhouse
Louise Jul 2017
A kind of love so good,
you wanna go on a quest to read every love poem, rob them off their most poignant words and rewrite them yourself if you could.
A spark so bright,
you know you can't turn away without igniting it even more and back down without putting up a ******* fight.
A love so real,
it can make the angels mad, even deranged and drive the saints to ****.
A touch that stings,
it could make a wilted flower bloom once again and make a voiceless siren sing.
A kiss that sears,
the price you have to pay for a love this good is a mistake that you would regret for years.
But it's time I run away from the shadows of your uncertainty.
I can no longer be crippled by your feigned affection and fantasy.
I pray that you, too, can escape from the false perfection you've molded and carefully crafted inside your head.
All that is white will eventually turn red and baby there will always be a dead end,
this is ours.
Louise Feb 7
I want the cliche romance.
I want all the cheesy stuff.
Yeah I want some flowers.
And yeah I want to call you.
I want to write you more letters.
I want to play tag and be the 'it'.
I want my poems to wage and weather.
I want heart-shaped ****.
I want to ask you to come over.
I want to talk more and more.
I want to catch up.
I want to know you again.
I want to cook us dinner.
I want us to leave laughters at every corner.
I want us to move furniture.
I want us to levitate to somewhere higher.
Ah, I want us.
I want to break the fixtures.
I want you to show me how good it can get.
I want you to teach me all the ways to get a woman wet.
I want your heavy breaths.
I want you covered in sweat.
I want to get back at the noises of my neighbors.
I want them to hear my moans and screams of pleasure.
I want them more annoyed than ever, even angered.
I want them to report me to the property manager.
Oh God, how I want you.
I want us to touch the sky, taste heaven together.
I want to kneel, in prayer.
I want to pray better.
I want to play my cards like I have never.
I want to play house forever.
"I want to..."
Louise May 2024
If my country is going to war, yet again...
I want to let you know that I won't kiss you.
No, at least not in vain.
For my kisses does not soothe,
rather they burn.
Like that of a tropical summer afternoon.
I won't even touch your hand.
No, at least not with mine.
For my hands does not heal,
rather they hurt.
Like they wouldn't know you are not enemy.
If my country is already at war, yet again...
I won't indulge myself to hug you.
No, at least not with this body,
a body that could possibly fail and die.
For my body is one that refuses to live,
in and for a land wherein birds cannot fly.
I won't help myself and look into your eyes.
No, at least not this time.
For my eyes are a pair that refuses to look,
at a bloodbath that I've only read in books.
So if my country goes to war, time and again...

I want to let you know, that no...

I won't kiss you in vain, for I will kiss you
until they drag my body and take me away.
Until drops of my blood are flowing in rivers,
lagoons, farmlands, grass and grains.
I will touch your hand with the promise of sweet victory.
With the news that my mountains
and seas are yours to roam free.
I won't hug you with this body,
but with my bodies of water and seas.
Until you are embraced by the wild waves,
may you taste their liberty.
I won't look at you with my bloodshot eyes,
but with the promise that you will never again
see blood, and with the eternal sunlight
over our vast fields and blue skies.
Louise Mar 2024
Sé que tú también lo sentirlo,
la misma frustración
que siento en mi corazón.

Sé que tú también lo ves,
compartimos la misma condición
que está llena de dolores.

Sé que tú también puedes oírlo,
las mismas canciones
que canto o escribo en secreto.

Pero sé que ya lo sabes,
compartimos el mismo jardín y mundo
que está lleno de magia y flores.
Mi penitencia: intentaré no pensar en ti y en mí en la misma cama.

"Semana Santa Sadgirl Series": no. 1
Louise Mar 2024
Bawat huling yakap mo'y katumbas ng sampal,
mga huling halik ng labi mo'y tila latigo ang lapat

'Di alintana ang tawanan nila't pangungutya;

Walang higit na sasakit pa
kaysa pagtalikod mo't palayong paglakad.

Bawat hakbang mo'y nadarama ang pagbigat nitong puso,
mga yapak **** dahilan ng makailang dapa at pagkahulog.

'Di na pinapakinggan mga sigaw nila't
'di mapunasan kanilang mga dura;

Walang higit na nakakahiya pa
kaysa pagtanggi mo sa akin sa harap nila.

Bawat kasinungalingan mo'y
pako sa aking kamay,
mga kasakiman mo'y
pako sa paa naman.

'Di na alintana ang hapdi at uhaw,
'di na hihintayin pa aking huling hininga.

Walang higit na kamatayan
kaysa paglayo mo't paglisan.
Si tuviera la oportunidad de decirte mis últimas palabras, serían: "Haría esto contigo una y otra vez"

Pero si tuviera la bendición de ser el aire que respiras, sería una isla con muchos árboles.

"Semana Santa Sadgirl Series": no. 11
Louise Nov 2023
Can I see your wine menu? What's the bestseller?

'We have bottles and labels from France, madame'

Oh...

Do you have something stronger?
Something that will knock me off my feet?
Perhaps something more bitter would be better.
Something that will get me home crawling.
Maybe something smoother and a little closer.
French just isn't doing it for me.

𝘋𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘻-𝘮𝘰𝘪 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘲𝘶𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘦𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘳 𝘴'𝘪𝘭 𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢î𝘵.
Louise Jun 20
The northwestern wind writes, "what's taking you so long?"
My microwave hums, "at least you've got a business"
The pacific waves of Baler calls me, "come back"
My new parcel's sticker says "do not fold"

The sun dances in hiding
My days dwindling

The monsoon breeze makes noise, "it's never gonna happen"
My fridge buzzes anew, "whatever the **** that was"
The distant dream of Siargao, "I'm in timeout"
My pile of books jokes, "that was a dream."

The clouds sings in poems
My time is thinning

The rolling eastern storms teases, "can't you see it's killing me?"
My turntable curses itself nightly, "get a new job or else"
The sweet kisses of Urbiztondo, "well I'd rather not"
My shell earrings whispers, "but what if?"

The moon stays writing
My nights fading
Louise Sep 2024
We would exchange contents of our souls,
open up my hips like you would a hole,
where you'll pour your sadness into;
and cover all over my grief,
like I'd spill my anxiety,
then glaze over your anguish.
So, we'll never have ***, I think.
We would rip each other's skin like ribs,
tear through our necks,
leave them red with bites and nibs;
or maybe it’ll be a slow night and we’ll read,
and maybe you’ll tell me I am who you need.
So we’ll never have ***, I believe.
I would tell you how sometimes slow hurts,
and sometimes,
it’s the absence of fire that burns.
I would tell you how it doesn’t make sense,
and sometimes,
what makes it present is the absence itself.
So we’ll never have ***, I bet.
Maybe you could tell me about these instead;
how you don’t know when it happened.
or if you could, tell me at what moment?
Maybe tell me that I'm always in your head;
or wishing I'm giving you one instead.
And that you don’t know how it started.
But it’s starting now isn’t?
It’s brewing now at this very moment,
or even way before.
Come closer, tell me how
you’ve been waiting for this very moment.
Whisper how you want more.
Come to me, my wave, I am your shore.
Tell me in any language you want; there's not a single one I wouldn't understand.
Louise Feb 4
I already know the answer.
So what if I have been thinking about you still? What about it?
What if I have been imagining how good your kiss must feel? What of it?
So what if I have been dreaming about what could have been? What is it to you?
What if you were here right now because you want to tell me something? What is it?
I know the answer.
I know it as I would know my own letters.

So what if I have been thinking about your touch, but this time, in places nobody knows where? Oh well, now neither do you.
So what?
So what if I have been imagining doing things with you, sort of things that you can now only imagine and think about too?
Now what?
So what if I am still here, writing poems?
So what if I am hiding, like Texas hold ‘em?
But I understand.
Like I do the lines on the back of my hand.

And so what if I have been daydreaming of sitting on a field on a sunny day with you?
So what if I’m imagining you taking my sundress off, like tearing petals down?
What about it?
So what if I imagine us having cute picnics and then making a mess of the picnic mat every single time, like it’s a routine?
So what?
So what if I think about these kind of things when you clearly don’t want them or don’t want anything at all, what pain it brings!
So what is it to you?!
Well, no problem, I heard.
Loud and clear as the chirps of the birds.
Louise Dec 2018
My kanluran is your nán
but my seas are my sons
and my seas are mine.
It's spelled as seas,
not to be misread as seize.
Feel an unforgiving mother's wrath
through the heat of my sun.
Written from the point of view of Pangasinan, a warning from an enraged mother.

a short poem about the West Philippine Sea.
Louise Jun 2022
The way you have a way with words,
I bless every book and every poem
that has ever graced your sight.
I praise the letters you've strung thus far,
if I could, I'd stitch them with my own
to make a blanket of letters that would
cover and protect you in the next winter.
Now I am writing astray,
but from my original pseudonym
I am never too far away.
You are the one writing these poems,
I am just your hands and the veins on them.
"Learn" poem trilogy - part 3 of 3
Louise Sep 2024
"Love waits, lust rushes",
some idiot on Instagram preaches.
Or Idstagram, if you will.
I call him one, but it's the truth
he brews, spews and spill.
He's an idiot for he fell in love indeed.
"Find your missing rib, not another *****",
another proclaimsㅡa poet this time around.
That would be me, only if you want.
I meant the idiot poet or your missing rib.
You can call me a fool, for it's the truth
I keep, speak and ****.
A friend who lies or a lover who stays still.
I could be both, if you wish.
Choice is not mine, not this time.
Louise Sep 2024
So many more things I would have loved
to share with you.
So many more stories I would have loved
to exchange with you.
So many more words I would have loved
to learn and unlearn with you.
So many more emotions I would have loved to know if you feel the same way, too.
So many more things I would have loved
to share with you.
Your music.
Your warmth.
Your personal space.
Your laughter and their sounds, reverberating between our bodies.
Our bodies.
The night.
My tongue.
The silver moon sparkling.
Your necklace, I want to share it, too.
Your rib and my rib, kissing too.
As friends
Louise Apr 2024
A pearl waits indeed,
albeit of exceptional beauty...
No matter how rare or how valuable,
a pearl waits indeed.
A pearl waits indeed,
for the bravest of divers...
No matter how long or how far,
to swim deep for her historical harvest.
A pearl waits indeed,
albeit of celebrated rarity...
No matter how treacherous the ocean,
a pearl stays still and sits pretty.
A pearl waits indeed,
in the embrace of the sea...
No matter how tumultuous the waves get,
a pearl waits indeed...
A pearl waits...
to be worn as a necklace
or earrings by a poet.
A poet who also refers to herself as a pearl.
A poet so foolishly comparing herself.
But then again, she's not so wrong.
Asking questions to the sky before bed.
Will you pick me up and take me away
from this seabed of moss and loss?
Will you harvest me from the vast ocean
and its mass of loneliness?
A pearl waits...
to be held, touch and kissed by the fingers
of a brave diver, of a worthy surfer...
Or simply by a simple island boy,
whose heart is that of a lion's
and whose hands are able...
Your Philippine pearl,
Louise...

— The End —