Bawat huling yakap mo'y katumbas ng sampal,
mga huling halik ng labi mo'y tila latigo ang lapat

'Di alintana ang tawanan nila't pangungutya;

Walang higit na sasakit pa
kaysa pagtalikod mo't palayong paglakad.

Bawat hakbang mo'y nadarama ang pagbigat nitong puso,
mga yapak **** dahilan ng makailang dapa at pagkahulog.

'Di na pinapakinggan mga sigaw nila't
'di mapunasan kanilang mga dura;

Walang higit na nakakahiya pa
kaysa pagtanggi mo sa akin sa harap nila.

Bawat kasinungalingan mo'y
pako sa aking kamay,
mga kasakiman mo'y
pako sa paa naman.

'Di na alintana ang hapdi at uhaw,
'di na hihintayin pa aking huling hininga.

Walang higit na kamatayan
kaysa paglayo mo't paglisan.

Empecemos.
𝘜𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯.

Cojamos las sillas, sentémonos
y empecemos a comer.
𝘒𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘩𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘨𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘺𝘢, 𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘱𝘰
𝘢𝘵 𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯.

En esta mesa, eres el único discípulo.
𝘚𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵𝘰, 𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘸 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘰.

Toma mi cuerpo...
𝘒𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘰...

Y mis huesos, vale, rómpelos...
𝘔𝘨𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘰'𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘪-𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰...

Y te digo;
"Esto es mi cuerpo, entregado por ti,
hacer esto en memoria de mí."
"𝘐𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘯, 𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘢'𝘺𝘰,
𝘨𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰 𝘪𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘨-𝘢𝘭𝘢-𝘢𝘭𝘢 𝘴𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯."

Y toma la copa, lleno de mis lágrimas,
esperanzas y sueños.
𝘈𝘵 𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢, 𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘨𝘢 𝘭𝘶𝘩𝘢,
𝘱𝘢𝘨-𝘢𝘴𝘢 𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘬𝘰.

"Esta copa es el nuevo pacto en mi sangre,
que es derramada por ti."
"𝘈𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘶𝘨𝘰,
𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘩𝘰𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘢'𝘺𝘰"

En verdad, créeme, me traicionarás...
𝘈𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘰, 𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘴 𝘯𝘢...

Pero está bien, lo estaba anticipando...
𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘰...

Pero primero come conmigo, quiero
disfrutar esta ultima comida contigo.
𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘬𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘬𝘢 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘰,
𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘢 𝘮𝘰.

Quédate conmigo, hasta que me lleven...
𝘔𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘪 𝘴𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘰, 𝘣𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘯𝘪𝘭𝘢 𝘬𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘬𝘱𝘪𝘯...

Oremos toda la noche, hasta llegar al cielo.
Y antes de enfrentar el calvario...
𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘥𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘣𝘪, 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘵.
𝘈𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘬𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘰...

No lo piénses dos veces,
solo dame cien besos.
Traicióname una y otra vez,
fallame con los ojos cerrados.

Adelante, que me lleven.
Solo siéntate ahí y escucha mis gritos.

No des un paso atrás,
o te arrepentirás.
Engañarme una y otra vez,
prométeme nada más.

Adelante, que me arrastren.
Sólo mira cómo crucifican mi cuerpo.

No me hagas daño solo por diez veces,
solo hazlo por cien o millones.
Dececpcionarme una y otra vez,
miénteme y dime que todo está bien.

Adelante, que me maten.
Sólo prométeme que esperarás junto a mi sepulcro.

Start with my neck,
and then go around my nape...
While you hold me from behind,
your body's like an unsung hero's cape...
Trail your left hand down my chest,
as the right one anticipates on my waist...
While you kiss me in the neck,
where your hands lifted their weight...
Let your hands trail some more,
as your legs join my sides...
My body, you're most welcome to explore,
or even crucify ****** into the night...
Pin down my arms and hands,
stab me with an emotionless face...
And as you end with my feet,
wash them, then lock my knees in place...
And finally, yet again, end with my feet.

Start with my neck, next my nape,
take me from behind,
then hold me from my chest, next my waist,
a little more in the neck again,
take your hands all over,
next are my sides,
then my arms,
then my hands,
then my feet,
my locked knees,
and finally ending with my feet.
This is exactly how you'd **** me,
and at the same time rebirth me.

Alam ko namang ito ang magiging kamatayan ko.
Alam ko namang may hangganan din itong mayroon tayo.
Ang puso kong pasan-pasan ko,
at hila hila ko rin pati na ang sa'yo.
Ang pagkahulog ko ay akin lamang,
ang pagkakadapa ko'y sariling pagkakasala.
Ano ang sasabihin ng aking ina,
ang luha pag nakita ang duguang mukha?
Abutin mo ang aking kamay,
at tulungan mo akong tumayo sa aking paa.
At ang mukha ko'y punasan mo,
ang labi ko'y dampihan mo ng labi mo.
Ang aking ikalawang pagkakahulog,
alam kong wala nang sasaklolo.
At wag kang iiyak sa ngalan ko
ang luha mo'y para lamang sa'yo.
Ang ikatlong pagkakahulog,
ang iyong kapatawaran ay ibigay mo.
Aking kasuotan ay tanggalin mo,
aking kabayaran ay tanggapin mo.
Ang mga braso ko'y pigilan mo,
ang mga binti ko ay isunod.
Alisin mo ang paghihirap ko sinta,
ang paghinga ko'y wakasan na.
Alisin ang katawan ko't ilayo sa aking puso,
ang isip ko'y isunod mo pagkatapos.
At ipahinga mo ang bangkay ko sa tabi mo,
hanggang kamatayan sa'yo lang gagapos.
At hintayin mo aking muling pagbabalik, sapagkat ang aking ikalawang pagdating  ay ang paraisong di mo pa nararating.

You hit me good where it hurts,
and you hurt me where it's good.
If you ask me to weep and burn,
I happily and willingly would.

Where your betrayal is,
that's where I long to be.

You want me bad when I want to hide,
and you hide me when it gets bad.
If you ask me to be your victim and bride,
my "yes" would be my quickest nod.

Where your anger resides,
that's where I dream to be beside.

So kiss me softly where it stings,
and kiss me hard where it kills.
If you ask me to die for your sins,
I would even do it on a cross uphill.

Penitencia número uno:
intenta no pensar en el color de mi piel ni en mi cuerpo.

Penitencia número dos:
sigue haciendo lo que haces, finge que no quieres mis besos.

Penitencia número tres:
trata de imaginarme como si fuera la luna de tu marea.
Como si no pudieras estar sin mí por la noche.

Penitencia número cuatro:
intenta orar a Dios por mí cuando ya me haya ido para siempre.
Como si pudieras vivir sin mí en este mundo loco.

Penitencia número cinco:
Déjame ir y regálame el camino de salida
si no puedes darme el cielo.

Seis, nunca vuelvas a mi país.

Siete, nunca cierres los ojos cuando empiezo a salir con alguien.

Ocho, nunca apagues las luces e imagínate en tu cuarto.

Nueve, no me escuches cuando digo "vuelve".

Diez, ni siquiera pienses más en mí.

Penitencia número uno:
Intentaré no pensar en ti y en mí en la misma cama.
Y tú también, intenta no pensar en el color de mi piel
ni en mi cuerpo.

Penitencia número dos:
No hablaré contigo, esta es una oración
y una promesa.
Y tú también, sigue haciendo lo que haces,
finge que no quieres mis besos.

Penitencia número tres:
Intentaré imaginar que eres el sol quemando mi piel.
Qué dolorosamente bien besas mi cuerpo.
Y tú también, trata de imaginarme
como si fuera la luna de tu marea.
Como si no pudieras estar sin mí por la noche.

Penitencia número cuatro:
No te hablaré, pero me arrodillaría frente a ti como un altar.
Qué fervor te oraría y te adoraría.
Y tú también, intenta orar a Dios por mí cuando
ya me haya ido para siempre.
Como si pudieras vivir sin mí en este mundo loco.

Penitencia número cinco:
Es simple. Iría, saldría de tu vida y te regalaré mi silencio.
Debería ser simple. Déjame ir y regálame el camino de salida
si no puedes darme el cielo.

Matalino naman ako,
alam rin iyan ng mga tao sa paligid ko.
Maingat naman ako,
kung hindi ay hindi ako tatagal sa mundo.
Ngunit bakit sa sarili ko'y ginagawa ito?
Bakit ako naglalakad patungo sa'yo?
Alam kong masasaktan muli ako,
baka nga ito pa ang maging kamatayan ko.
Ngunit bakit patuloy pa ring lumalapit sa'yo?
Naglalakad ng masaya at magiliw
patungo sa aking kalbaryo,
para lang maipalasap sa'yo ang paraiso.
Habang pasan ang krus na tonelada ang kilo,
para lang madala ang walang hanggang kaligtasan sa'yo.

They say you must suffer
before you become free
You must be a prisoner
before you can flee

But I beg to differ...
Before you came I didn't know glee.
I was held captive by land and earth
before I became as wild as the sea

And you wouldn't agree either...
Before me, you've never known grace.
You were trapped by the fear of danger
until you're blessed by the sight of my face

You could try but you won't find better...
After me, everyone else is just a phase.
I was chained by the fear of another lover
but you blessed me with hope I can't erase

Now we are swinging like olive branches,
dancing and swaying like palm trees,
I don't want to take any chances
but with you I'd take a thousand risks.

Now we are singing like lovebirds
flying across a meadow in a summer light,
I don't want to fall in love again
but for you I'd jump headfirst and deep dive.

Sé que tú también lo sentirlo,
la misma frustración
que siento en mi corazón.

Sé que tú también lo ves,
compartimos la misma condición
que está llena de dolores.

Sé que tú también puedes oírlo,
las mismas canciones
que canto o escribo en secreto.

Pero sé que ya lo sabes,
compartimos el mismo jardín y mundo
que está lleno de magia y flores.

I know you've heard things about me...
This and that, here and there...
And I also know you're a little scared,
could be of me, or of my beauty maybe...
This and this and this
Yet I know that as scared as you are,
you're also curious about my mysteries...
That and that and that
But if you take a chance on me,
if you step into my shores and feel my breeze,
you'll find that I'm just a beautiful island,
I could even be the best you'll ever see,
nothing more and nothing grand...
yet I could be the paradise you've never been
and I could have everything you'll ever need.
I could leave you exhilarated
with my magic, sunsets and seabed...
And you would leave me sparkling brand new,
like my oceans have never been this clear and blue.
This and that,
here and there,
I want you here now
and I want you near.

𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘺 (𝘯); 𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺;
𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘴: 𝘴𝘭𝘶𝘵, 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳,
𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘯'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦

I know who I am
Yet I don't mind being contained inside a stereotype
I'd even laugh with them or crack a harder joke,
if that means with you, I'll get to spend more time.
I know that in surprise of my truth, they will all choke.

I know myself
I've sworn with blood I won't throw my heart so far
like a boomerang that mindlessly takes flight.
But I don't mind being inside the comfort of your car,
especially being found with you there late at night.

I know what I want
I chase my dreams daily, men only every two years
And I don't mind the name-calling and naysays
Because what I want can't be bought with tears
and all they'll ever know about me is my name anyway.

I know what I'll get
But if it's you, I'll take what I can and hope I won't need
Even if it feels like looking into those eyes of yours is a crime
Because life before you have been stereotypical indeed
So I don't mind, no I don'tㅡin hundreds of jails I'd merrily do time.

I know what you'll get
And if it's not me, there are always the girls
waiting for you back home
or the ones who anticipates you
wherever you may cross, dock or land
Because I have a feeling life after you
would feel like I've always been alone
But would you mind? If I ask you
to hold me longer and take my hand?

Do we know where we’ll go next or what we'll both get?
If it's not with you and me,
there are thousand other pretty faces and luscious lips...
But can they ever fill the void I've left?
and will I ever stop thinking about what they lack?
Because I have a feeling there's more to this,
I've never missed anyone's hand on my hips...
But would you mind? If I ask you
to give me another night, will you ever come back?

Gayuma
ang titig ng iyong mata
ang mga kulay nitong kakaiba,
pati ang labi **** nakakahalina

Nakakahalina
ang pangarapin ka
alalahanin ang iyong amoy sa tuwina,
ating mga alaalang tila ba milagro at mahika

Mahika
ang muli kang makasama
at marinig muli ang iyong mga tawa,
mawala kung saan mang sulok kasama ka

Ang makasama ka
ang pinakamabisang gayuma,
ang pinakanakakahalinang mahika,
at ang aking pinapangarap na sumpa.

I miss her.
Me in the island.
The me that's carefree,
doesn't care about schedules,
about no rules,
eats healthier, sleeps better,
wears flowers on her hair
instead of carrying burdens in her head,
dances like no one's watching
and sings like no one has ever hurt her,
laughs her heart out
and hugs people and means it.
I miss the person that I was on the island;
she was everything I'm not
or I cannot be at home and in reality.

I miss her and I'm gonna keep missing her...
until I meet her again.

At oo naman,
oo nga naman;
dapat ay dahan-dahan...
kung hindi ay mabibigla.

Dapat ay hindi binibigla,
kung hindi ay madarama ang puwersa.

Dapat ay hindi pinupuwersa,
kung hindi ay hindi makakababa.

Dapat ay dahan-dahan...
kung hindi ay masasaktan.

sa pag-baba,
sa pagtalon,
sa paglangoy,
dahan-dahan...

sa pag-ibig,
sa pagsisid,
sa paghalik,
dahan-dahan lamang...

I have no time to pray
For instead I must work, cry, eat,
all these prayers, I cannot say anyway.
I have to work for the things
that I want and need
instead of praying and waiting for them,
I have to cry so I can work again for the things I really need
and silence my cries and dry my tears with the things I want then,
I have to eat so I can do it all over again
instead of praying to get warm food on my plate
or fresh sheets on my bed.
So tell me
Where do I find the time?
Where do I look for more?
Do I pray for more time too?
And if so, when do I find the time to pray
to God for more time?
If God doesn't sleep, then I am a God too.
And even if I'm restless,
I still have no time to pray.
And even if I have rest,
when does that happen anyway?
I have no time to pray, to rest
or God forbid, play. You jest.
For instead I must work, cry or eat.
When I'm on my deathbed,
probably then I'll have time to pray.

I would do it all over again:
Leave my safe space
Flee from this city of foolish sanctuary
Burn my body and face
Strut into an unknown territory
Fall down from grace
Give up my false sense of serenity

Trade my gold jewelries for pearls
Swap my diamonds for seashells
With the island air, I'd dance and twirl,
Along the ocean breeze, I'd twist and bend;
this bottled feeling is a message I won't send.

But I would do it all too:
Leave everything behind
if it's you I'll get to be with in the end
I would cut my own good hand,
go somewhere nobody can find
just for another day of me and you
in the island.

Dear Reader,

If your winter becomes unbearably colder,
your summer a little less hot,
If your spring lacks flowers and colors,
and your next autumn full of drought,

remember that it's summer all year here,
yet my nights are colder since you left.
But I'll be waiting until you're back or near,
to go where or do what,
we'll just have to wonder and guess...

What's the use of my hand,
if your skin is not under its touch?
What good is my skin,
if yours is not under its heat?

What's the use of my lips,
if yours are not locked with it?
What's the use of my eyes,
if yours are not looking at them?

What's the use of my body heat,
if it's not overlapping with yours?
What good is my body,
if yours is not over it every hour?

What's the use of your body,
if mine is not on top of it?
If it's not me you're sharing the heat with?
If I am not carressing it?
If I am not the one beside it?
What good is it,
if you never really knew what good is?

F*ck the postcards and dried mangoes, baby.
The prayers in The Philippines,
The prayers from and by Filipinos,
will be the best souvenir one can ever get.


The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been keeping our islands, vintas and mangroves afloat
and why more new islands have been popping up like moles.
The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been keeping the storms, typhoons and hurricanes all but a joke.
Another one? Bring it on and on and once more.
The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been putting earthquakes and tsunamis to shame.
My grandmothers have been through worse,
what's a little bit of motion and shake?


The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been keeping this country a curse and a miracle;
why we have mountains that we have today,
why and how they're shaped that way.
Despite the chaos of politics, corruption and news of crimes...
Why we have oceans that are bright blue
and how they could make a weary traveler or a desolate native feel brand new.
Despite the familiar dangers and age-old stereotypes...


The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been holding Filipinos together,
be it with each other or to fight through another day for much longer.
The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are what has been keeping this country ever magical and mystical,
even if some days it's harder to feel that way.
The Prayers in The Philippines, by the Filipinos
are the reason why I'm here, why I exist,
why I'm alive and kicking,
full of dreams and spite and hope, writing,
the reason why I'm full of life, full of love
and will keep on living and loving.


I will live and die saying my prayers
in The Philippines,
as a Filipino,
for The Philippines
and for other Filipinos.

A sober rockstar, not even a puff of cigarette
A man who's actually one
A cowboy making the sign of the cross before a rodeo show
A ******* singing songs of love
A murderer in an old church's confessional
A white guy in Manila who's actually here for work
A cool guy having hot flashes and constant fever
A deadbeat father writing poetry
A ped*phile making the sign of the cross out of habit
A hot guy having regular hypothermia
A politician smiling warmly
A poet
A poem
A poet and their poems.

"I dream of the day I would see the flowers bloom in Palestine", says an ally.
"I dream of the day I would see the flowers again",
cries an old lady from Palestine
"I dream of the day I would see Palestine",
prays a refugee in a faraway country
"I dream of the day when I would not dream and pray that there would be another day for Palestine",
screams a little child in Palestine


And the sun is the witness
The sun knows it all,
it has watched, witnessed and waited...


I dream of the day I would see the flowers bloom in Palestine!
From the bullets bored through little children's ribs,
to the bloodied blouses hanging in the clothesline.

I dream of the day I would see flowers again!
From the people's laughters and childish ease,
to the tears and pain I can't even begin to imagine.

I dream of the day I would see Palestine!
From the river, in the desert, in the colorful markets,
to the sea, in the beach, taking our sweet sweet time.

I dream of the day when I would not dream and pray that there would be another day for Palestine!
Because there would only be days of freedom!
Only for the children, for Gaza, mothers, fathers, doctors, soldiers, every Palestinian!
Days that are theirs!
Days and endless days are all there is!
And it is all theirs!


And the sun is the judge and the jury
The sun grants it,
the justice for every injury, freedom for every perjury...

Stop.
Don't puff.
See the ocean?
Run and go.
Want to make a new friend?
Put down your phone.
Or do as you please,
but please don't smoke cigarettes in Siargao.
Don't make an irony of your stay
and a fool of yourself here.
Don't disrespect her sweet air,
don't bastardize her fresh breeze.

See the ocean?
Run and go.
Make a friend.
Do what you please.
Breathe in the sweet air.
Feel the kiss of the fresh breeze.
Don't smoke cigarettes in Siargao.

Ang masalimuot na pag-aalboroto.
Hindi na sana muli.
Ang nakakapuwing na mumunting bato.
Maging ang huli na sana ang pinakahuli.
Aasahan pa ba natin?
Ang nakakabulag, nakakaiyak na abo.
Hihintayin pa bang dumating?
Hindi na sana muli.
Ang natuyong lahar ang aking kapatawaran.
Ang iyong kapaligiran ang sa iyo naman.
Tuwing Nobyembre at Enero
Ipagdarasal ko ang hindi na muling pagputok, pagsabog
at pagbulusok ng Pinatubo.
Hindi na sana muli.
Maging ang huli na sana ang pinakahuli.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet
Did the past month really occur
Or I just hallucinated that we met?

Consectetur adipiscing elit
Did I regret it
Or did I wish I stayed longer for a bit?

Sed do eiusmod tempor
Did you regret it
Or are you wishing now for more?



Placeholder,
I'm just another design page,
whose lips are a passing, familiar symbol.

A replacer,
You're just another pretty face,
whose eyes I already forgot the color.

We move along and away,
Get on with our diring days



I couldn't even dare call you a lover,
we really just both filled each other.

I write of love yet I don't believe in it anymore,
yet I still dream of love as it soothes me terrified.
I would give love if I could, but I have nothing more,
yet I still try to find it and scream it in songs at night.

I dream of love yet I fancy turning it into a nightmare,
yet men keep sleeping down their backs,
anticipating for even just a passing vision of me.
I write of love only to spin it into a cautionary tale,
yet they're awake deep into the night,
and I'm a book they're flipping, turning, eagerly reading.

I write of love, praise it yet I've already lost my faith,
yet I still pray for love as if it's my last salvation
I know now that love is all but a promise and bait,
yet I keep being hooked, like a tiny fish in the vast ocean.

I sing of love, write of it, dance for it,
yet at the end of the day, it's all but a dying art,
yet I'm an artist starving to make it to the other side,
even make it out alive
I have learned now that love,
with all its theories and truths, only breaks my heart,
but you're a new canvas I want to spill
all my letters, colors and lights.

My heart has had enough
My mind had its final run
But my body
Oh god, my body,
My poor body...
It remains unsullied, untouched

Years have passed
and the past have yearned,
spells were cast
and lessons are learned.
Still, my body remains hungry
It remains still, and it's still at rest
Still, it's been at rest painfully
I remain unfed, receiving only less
And it wants to run, climb and fly
it wants to bleed, shed and cry

My body;
not only does it ask me for more,
but it demands the most.
It asks me to tour down the earth's core,
commands me to find what's lost.

The exhaustion
The falling
The soreness
The failing
The bouts of pain
The flying...

Everything my heart has fought with,
everything my mind has battled with,
my body wants every taste,
craves every punch and hit.
It craves some kind of feigned balance,
it craves a round of some dangerous dance

Yet I wait
I wait for nature to grant me the green light.
I wait for the stars to lull me into the night.
I wait for the trees to give me some reason.
I wait for the moon to pull me into seasons.

Oh it's for sure a delicate time.

For me and you both.

Can I see your wine menu? What's the bestseller?

'We have bottles and labels from France, madame'

Oh...

Do you have something stronger?
Something that will knock me off my feet?
Perhaps something more bitter would be better.
Something that will get me home crawling.
Maybe something smoother and a little closer.
French just isn't doing it for me.

𝘋𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘻-𝘮𝘰𝘪 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘲𝘶𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘦𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘳 𝘴'𝘪𝘭 𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢î𝘵.

From your Roman Empire,
to my Ancient Egypt...
from your eyes and their cool fire,
to the curses falling down my lips

Up from your northern skies,
out of my vast desert's hottest sand
In from your colosseum's light,
down to my catacombs' earth and land

Their cowardly call for battles and war
is our romance's answer to serenity
They only dare to fight us from afar,
my name haunts them for all eternity

Let them come if they wish and dare
As we inspire the world's greatest love stories
I'll let my kingdom come, all rich and bare
But they will never go down in history

You can kneel to pray,
before you commit one more sin
as you do every hour and everyday.
You can pray to avoid the calls of sin,
before you take on a bigger atrocity,
throwing both law and faith down the bin.
But rules are meant to be bent,
just like my body against the table,
or across the vastness of your bed.
But I am the revolution, your new law,
and you would learn the best way
that without me, you're as good as lost.

Ang pagkain ng croissant at floss buns
sa public places.
O ng saging o hotdog sa jeepney.
Ng chocolate ice cream habang naka-all white ka.
Ang umibig ng mga taong may mental illness.
O ng taga-malayo o magkagusto sa pari.
Ng taong hindi maaaring ibigin.
Ang maki-apid sa asawa ng may asawa.
Ang kwarto **** napabayaang linisin
dahil mas masarap nga naman ang siesta.
Mas nakakahalina ang tawag ng pahinga,
kaysa talak ng pagliligpit.
Ang trend ng salted caramel everything
dahil mas mainam ang may konting alat.
Ang nakaligtaang lakad sa government offices
dahil mas kaakit-akit ang gumala.
Ang buhay **** salat sa kaayusan
dahil mas masarap ang makalat.

They are both orange or gingers, as in my dreams
both crazy and funny, like you and me
and in our faces, in the morning, they won't scream.

In the apartment we'll never split rent together,
between the rooms we'll never kiss in
the kitchen we'll never cook in, not for each other.

The litter boxes we won't take turns to clean
the food bowls we won't refill, like you and I never did
wiping mirrors until they glisten and gleam
and looking back now, it's a relief indeed

The bills we won't compute, pay and solve,
the fights that we'll never have.
I find comfort in our inexistent marital issues
and the divorce that we'll never have to encounter.

If little me comes to me
running and asking for help,
I know that I will hold her near
carry her, run faster away from hell
and tell her, "for you I would do anything"

You think you'd have another chance
to make a dying wish
I was thinking I would take an endless glance
over some long lost art
We thought our tongues could have another dance
with an exceptionally good dish

We think we'd have another go
over things involving me and you
You were thinking there'll be more tomorrow
until tomorrow becomes "please, just go"
I thought I can have another taste of you
until your restaurant updates its new menu
until finally, there's no more me and you

Ikaw
ay isang mataas, malakas at malaking alon.
Kung makakapili at may pagkakataon,
ang mga manlalangoy sa paligid mo
ay hindi na muli pang aahon.



At ako
ay isa lamang butil ng buhangin,
alikabok sa hangin na nakakapuwing,
nakatadhanang tangayin din ng hangin,
isayaw ng agos patungo sa'yong direksyon,
at mananatili sa'yong karagatan ng panaghoy.

I'm not hoping for much
I'm not even hoping for
the good of hope anymore
But if there's a few things
I'd still hope for at all;
I hope you're being haunted
by the things we talked about,
by the jokes only we knew
and laughed about.
I hope you're being followed
by the plans you didn't want to make,
but couldn't say it out loud
I hope my jokes lingers in your head,
I hope my laughter rings in your ear
as you crash in another woman's bed,
I hope you're further away as possible
as you pull her unfamiliar body near.
I hope my hobbies are
now becoming yours,
I hope my multitude of dreams
have inspired you to maybe
finally have at least one of your own,
I hope that all these time, we have grown
whether into each other or apart,
I hope I have became your mountain and your rock,
despite never needing one,
as you have always been your own.
I hope you'll never have to wonder
how the heat of my touch feels like anymore,
I hope you'll never have to wonder
how I smell like and how you'd keep wanting more.
I hope that at night you are not alone
I really hope you are not sulking,
thinking and drinking all on your own.

Five summers, four lovers
and three checkbooks ago,
I've been here, as I am today.
Same corner, same shade of gloomy day,
and about the same volume of falling rain,
still a one-call-away favorite friend of pain.
Only now I am much more
clever and conniving,
more calculating
and dare I say,
more frightening.
My approaching steps are the pitter-patter
of the storm starting,
the thundering warning of my arrival
is Manila's hour rushing.
Words from my lips
are news you'd rather miss,
however I can't say the same
about my infamous kiss.
I am older, and longer are my to-do lists.
My patience is longer,
but my heart no longer sighs or beats.

I should've known from the first ride,
that I would be falling fast.
I should've felt it from my first fall,
that your show must go on.
I should've known from the first rodeo,
that should've been the last.
I should've felt it from my first trot,
that I'm better off riding alone.

I should've known you couldn't choke the horn,
but you were all but a yellow-belly.
I should've watched how you 'let her rip',
yet a horse is all of my riches.
I should've believed you don't want no cahoot,
but I rode for you 'til dawn while hungry.
I should've watched you ride to the sunrise,
yet I am left chasing sunsets.

But I am still the greatest,
with or without a lily liver cahoot.
I am the best, from east to west,
a taste from my lips would prove it's true.
I am the lone star that shines the brightest,
with or without your hat on, you'll be blinded.
I am all of the gold that they all rush to,
the legend they call 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

You should be sorry, oh you should be sad,
all you would be is a runaway robber.
Because I could've been your brokeback god
now I would be everything but your lover.
I put my hat down to say sorry for being your bandit,
Now I ride to where the lights would welcome me,
far away from all the grime, dirt and strife
They all cheer and whistle and holler my name,
while you weep that your whole life,
let alone your morning rides will never be the same.

Half a year has passed
Love has been recalled
and lives have been lost
Hearts have been split in halves
Lessons learned, wages earned
More questions left unanswered
Am I getting older
or just getting used to it?
Am I growing wiser
or just getting my old self back?
But all the love I think I gave to people,
out to the bigger world,
I need a little bit of that back for myself.
Even just for a little while.
I need some kind of balance
or even an illusion thereof.
Am I becoming stronger
or getting more careless?
Am I getting smarter
or just getting sheer luck?
Yet all the lessons I thought I learned
from all the people I gave my love to,
I think I didn't really need them.
All I needed was to do it myself.
Like I always do.
Is the earth getting warmer
or is my skin growing thicker?
Are my dreams becoming closer
or I just couldn't care less any longer?
More questions will be asked
and will be left unanswered.

I had my cake and I ate it too,
like all the time in the world that you took.
Adorned with cherries
and decorated with cream,
like the taste of my lips
that is only a thing of your dreams.
I thought I have once
tasted a slice of heaven,
only for it to rot away to
a thing from hottest hell.

I had my time and you took it too,
like my faith and my core that you shook.
Laced with grace
and the promise of salvation,
thoughts of your touch once felt
like a dream vacation.
I thought I have once
been granted patience,
only for it to burn down a hole
in my purest conscience.

But then I was sure I had it all,
the diamonds, the universe,
I had you, but then I also have a curse.
The parties, the best jazz age whiskeys,
these shall be enough to distract me.
The waiting, the wondering
are opulence I could no longer afford.
Like my favorite vice I had to abandon,
you are a glimmering borrowed gown
I shall never again don.

But then I'm sure I could do more,
the Philippine pearls, the world,
wrapped around my finger in a red cord.
The weddings, the finest wines I could buy,
these shall do good to get me by.
The patience, the pitying
are charities I could no longer give.
Like a prayer I utter in front of a new lover,
I am the luxury, the gold, all the fortune
you would never wager.

From my past job
To my previous love
From every cancelled flight
To my concert crowd fright
From car parking overtimes
To cutting into bank lines

I bless and I thank all of you
for my trauma on tickets!

I am filling my days with tick boxes
and to-do lists
Entertaining myself with others' inconveniences.
To save my heart from further
crack and freeze,
I play games and reward myself
with my own prizes.

I am burying every lingering question,
like you kept yours
locked inside the closet.
Like disposing our shared laughters
of their echoes and sounds,
I cover my own mouth as I cry
so no other soul hears it.

I am reducing my feelings to logic
Even my poetry and art have
become awfully calculated.
Compartmentalizing my daily plans
into sorry yet efficient lists,
I survive the nights by believing
losing me makes you elated.

I am weighing in the pros and cons,
like dancing with my own body
on a brittle balancing act.
Whispering lullabies
to my own weary heart and soul,
I find comfort in knowing
it will never come back.

The monsoons of the heart
The cyclones of our whereabouts
It's all brewing and burning
at the same time

Within the all-seeing eye of the storm,
the haze and hail over my island are born
It's both evening and morning
at the same time

The violent destructions on the east
The threatening strong winds on the west
It's all beginning and ending
at the same time

There was once a haunted tree,
not feared by many, in fact,
only by that of a young spinster.
But of five and twenty,
liked by many, however,
only a few were ever called her lover.

Until she met a man that felt like an army,
like hundreds of men marching,
whose loyalty was sworn for her beauty.
Until one man felt like a war waging,
yet like a calm ocean breeze blowing
and like marching silently into the dark sea.

Until there came the lover whose laughter
felt like an ache from a life long gone,
whose smiles felt like gunshots.
Until there was he who felt like home,
yet as distant as the tides are to the moon
and as untouchable as a silky thunderbolt.

There was a tree the spinster holds dear,
so close to her ever yearning heart.
This tree, she likens to that of her lover.
whose branches threatens to fall on her,
bears fruits that if they choose to plummet,
someone is to get hurt and it would be her.

And then there was a legend that this tree,
that was once a fruit of another host
that was fabled to be haunted.
But before the tales of horrors and shrieks,
it was abundant, it was the guide to the lost,
until it was axed, hunted as needed.

All of this tree's fruits turned to be of toxins,
opposing the townspeople's songs of praises.
All its branches grew webs upon cleaving,
challenging the tales of awes and delight.
All of which except for one, a golden fruit,
the root's promise and hope of the fallen.

What the preachers say could be of truth,
their words she avoided could be gospel.
What the non-believers say could be a tale,
their rumors could save her from demise.
What if the tree is just as rotten as the root,
what if it is indeed the produce from hell?

Your grumpy face in the mornings,
Your exhausted sigh in the evenings
Every late night until late breakfasts,
Every sunset that makes us whisper "at last"
All that makes us ourselves, all that's true
are all the reasons that makes me love you.
Catching the sunrise, breathing in the ocean breeze during the heat of summer.
Watching the snowfall and embracing the freeze during the hell of winter.
Our hands are locked through it all
These are the daily, mundane moments
I don't mind living with you and leaving with you for every rise and fall.

Please intertwine your routines with mine
Won't you spend sunsets with me
in the summertime?
I am not one to believe in forever after,
but I am one with you
for all seasons and weather.

Your sweat dripping and mixing with mine
Your sudden ramblings and whine
The uneven summer sun tans
The reds and scratches on your back
All natural, and all I ever want
These are the things
I daydream on the daily.
These are the days
I imagine myself living.
Your absence,
the single worst lethal threat
Your face,
so close while catching our breaths
Our hands,
always there for each other to hold.
All these makes for the moments
that makes our love worthy of it all.

Oh I beg you to please annoy me.
Cause me all these inconveniences.
Come closer, stop being such a tease.
Make me the most vexed woman to exist.

Your jacket with your trademark scent
Your deep-set eyes makes my knees bend
The sonorous sound of your laugh
The accidental touch from your hand
Occasional, yet each are monumental
These are the things I dream
of having even just once.
These are the moments I crave
the taste of, even just an ounce.
Your hands on my hair
Us breathing in the same air
Our hands, intertwined
These are the turning moments
I'll play on my turntable on rewind

Oh spoil me, please spoil me
Give me all these life's luxuries
Come closer, hold me, give it all to me
Make me the richest woman to ever exist.

My city...
I was here before it was even one,
my toys are older
than the high-rise buildings.
Yet all of my oldest dreams
have long been gone,
this is where new people
from far-away are dreaming.

People dream to visit here
even for a day,
I can't count the years
I've been trying to escape.
People travel here
to have a sip of coffee,
even the taste of water here
can tell that I am sick.

In the inner city,
while everyone takes photographs,
I try my best to walk
with my shoulders not dropped.
In the chic cafes
where others strike a pose,
I knew I never wanted more,
I had my dose.

My city,
that many people dream
of visiting and living in,
why, then there's me
who's here and feeling livid in.
My now-larger-city
that still feels like a small town,
I feel suffocated,
as if all my life I'm in a tight gown.

My body is a tropical island
Full of wonders, views are grand
A spectacle of various rare terrains,
overwhelming for the unadventurous
and exhausting for the meager brains.
My body boasts of all the different
exotic textures and new colors,
something your waiting eyes
must be ready to marvel at.
My body takes pride in its
mountain-like curves;
not exactly the perfect shapes
but awe-inspiring, like a painting.
Something your anticipating hands
has to feel thrilled to touch.
However, my body is also known
for its extraordinary yet abrupt movements;
scary for most and sensual for some.
Like earthquakes and typhoons,
you'll never know when the rhythms come.
Something your foreign familiarity
would either be thrilled or petrified about.
So I welcome you to this island of mine,
leave your worries back to the shores,
clear your soul and free your mind.
Leave you exhilarated and in monsoon,
my rainforest flora forever in bloom.