I’m not sure you know what it’s like to love
someone you know is only going to demolish you.
What it’s like to give your body to someone
who doesn’t care what it would look like
turned inside out, the beauty of it
dripping from your bones, the words that haunt
you when the lights go out, the dreams you swore
to catch but just nearly missed.
I’m not sure you know what it’s like to watch
for the expiration date, wait for
that last good day before the question
is asked, the “where is this going?”
the self-promises not to reach out to him
days after you’ve gotten the wrong answer.
I’m not sure you know what it’s like to prepare
bomb shelters out of empty Ben & Jerry’s,
your roommate’s wine, your favorite leggings
and a blank document. I don’t think you know
what it’s like to play tag with each other’s tongues
in your bed while you just wait
for it to be empty again.

I love all the things you do,
all the stupid little hair flips and the smiling
between kisses, how you cradle my face like you just know
you’re going to tear my smile apart one day,
but you don’t get it.

You don’t know what it’s like to be the girl
everyone breaks. To have to watch days
on your calendar pass by while crossing your fingers
that today isn’t the day he grows tired of your jokes,
the day he finds the sparkle has faded, the day
the disinterest starts. You don’t know
what it’s like to hold someone you know isn’t ever
going to be yours.

I am a therapy of sorts.
I can listen to your woes
Massage your tired feet
Perhaps make you some cookies
Or other kinds of treats.
But I am not medicine.
I cannot cure all your worries,
Or stop the consistent aching in your heart.
I cannot stop you from going over the edge
Or tearing yourself apart.

Words are harmless, so they say,
That's where the problem starts;
Sticks and stones
May break our bones
But words will break our hearts.



Words are harmless, so they say,
And point you to their charts;
It's harmless fun,
No damage done.
But... Who will mend our hearts?



The x-rays show no damage
Where words have scathed across,
But it still feels hard to manage,
And leaves you at a loss.



Words are harmless, don't complain,
That's where the problem starts.
It's quite absurd-
A single word-
Enough to break our hearts!



But words are harmless, they maintain;
The subject of their parts,
No less or more,
So let them pour
From all our broken hearts

I bought a white rose today. Not for anyone, not even for anything. It's for me. I buy myself flowers; they make me happy. And I'll do whatever it takes to make myself happy.

All my life, I've been sacrificing everything—even myself—for people who couldn't even appreciate it.

And I think, I think now is time to love myself.

Come with me and I'll show you the right path

Everyone currently needs to realize it's the first of December tomorrow.

I used to constantly think about how this boy broke my heart, and how i will never get over him.

I used to hate my adviser when i was still in high school, thinking she hates me more than i do to her.

I used to feel embarrassed when people stare at me. I was once a paranoid and all i cared about was how people think of me:
"how do i dress?"
"how do i look when i smile?"
"do these boys think i'm cute?"
"these bunch of girls probably hate me"
"i'm so ugly"

I used to cry every night while talking to Him. I forgot to be thankful with what i had.

I used to hate myself, and this hatred nonetheless reflected on my own self. I became a chaotic, impulsive ***** who only thinks about how to fit in in this society.

I used to read sad poems.

I used to write sad poems. Poems about how i hate myself so much that i actually wished to die.

I used to think that my first love had to be some insignificant boy, when it should have been myself.

And now, just a few minutes before the clock hit 12, I finally realized how tough i am to survive in these hardships. I finally learned how to appreciate myself. And by this time, I am so sure about one thing: I'm so in love with myself and all my millions.