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At night, when I close my eyes and try to relax
All the things I have done wrong come before my sight,
I feel suffocated and cry deep inside
"What  have  I  done  ?" , I shout
"Is  that  me  ?" , I doubt
I search for keys to unlock the doors of my mind,
But bad memories are all I find
This isn't how I thought it to be,
This isn't how I wanted myself to be
Sometimes, that's  not what we intend
But the cycle continues and the struggle never ends
 Sep 2015 Andrew Siegel
irsorai
Sometimes you just want a small hug,
a kind voice to tell you
it will all be okay
one day.

Other times you just want to kiss someone,
so hard and for so long,
that time stops and you forget
whose oxygen you're breathing.
Copyright © irsorai
21/09/2015
 Sep 2015 Andrew Siegel
Life
I am crumbling under your stare
dying
In the moonlight
Even as a boy.
I always thought  I knew
what love  looked like.
She was soft curvy and blonde
with beautiful blue eyes.

I looked for her for years
and she finally showed up.
When she showed up
she was brunette wore glasses
that hid her brown eyes .
she hated my music
hated my friends
and in the end
she hated me.

It was ten years
before  love returned again.
This time she had a
short blonde pixie cut.
Green eyes and a perma smile.
She taught me that when a
woman is smiling it does not
reflect what she is thinking.
She played music all the time
that someone  else bought her.
She did buy me
my favorite ice cream though.
But she would eat it all
in midnight food binges.
as her music played.

I am now waiting for love
to come again.
It's been five years
but I know love
will show up.
I am sure of it.
when love left me I asked it to
leave my door open.
I kissed love softly goodbye.
And there were no tears.

I whispered softly to love.
thanks for coming to visit me.
I love it when you are around.
Don't be a stranger Love.
come back and see me soon.
"I love it...  well done... " I've said
Upon reading another tormented poesy
The rope, gun and blade
Kissed every neck, head and wrist with gravity

"Nicely penned" I've said and clicked the vote
As shared my leisure time for an inspirational poetry
About love, peace and hope
Intended to those whose life was so cloudy

I always appreciate poetry of all kinds
Each taste of life was beautifully written there
Poet must be praised no matter what's inside his mind
Applaud even their works were rants and cursed into the air

To let go what we think about life
We all have different points of view
Who am I to judge if their pencil turned into a rainbow or a knife
I've only tasted the life that I've chewed

One thing about the taste of life that I know
That the aroma of happiness
And the flavor of sorrow
Was sprinkled among the rest...


Written: February 9, 2015 at 5:00 pm

Mysterious Aries
 Sep 2015 Andrew Siegel
Pax

I sit alone as if I am fading
Invisible in the ashen fields.
My heart longs to be somewhere
to where I see myself
Clear as the new day
True to oneself’s beauty
Away from the toxicity of people’s opinion
Or as far away from my own shadow of doubt.

I sit alone & not running anymore.
Losing strength as the wind passes by
Losing a bit of my edge in this unreasonable persona, I face.
Yet I never give a **** as long as I kept on going
Reaching for something Unreachable,
I can only hope…

I want to feel the life of someone’s at arm’s reach
to feel that I am alive
I missed you.

this feels like a follow-up on my 'ashen gray' piece:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/298918/ashen-gray/
though it is much more in a different road,
a road that i am longing to have..
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