In the glow of an intransigent moon,
she looked up at dull stars with a twinkling bitterness.

All she wanted was the sun.
She wanted endless yellows and reds.
Blues.
Greens.
Light to be shed upon her world.

But she was stuck under a film of grey.

And the night would not relent.

Would I ever be something more
Than the thoughts that haunt my mind
Or the letters I keep to forget?

Would I ever be something more
Than the dreams I live at night
Or the tears I never shed?

Would I ever be something more
Than the language I cannot speak
Or all the persons I could be?

Would I ever be something more
Than all that takes shape in front of me
But never quite make it into words?

Would I ever be...

And you can never see
You can never be
Everything that they are
Anything that is not
A word
Or a phrase
They can never be
And you can never become
What you cannot see
You have blinded your eyes
You have cut your ears
And you have sewed your mouth
And I cannot unsee
I cannot unknow
I cannot help
But be
Everything I flee
Everything I hate

*Would I ever be something more?

Do you ever sit in class
And wish no one could see you
wish you were invisible
You get tired of laughing and pointing
And you literally zone out.
And stare off into the distance
Blocking out everyone
Wishing you could break down
But staying strong because you don't want to look weak.
I'm tired of being here.
I may be a *****
I treat others how I treat myself
I hate everyone.... I hate myself
Low key I hate being here and existing.
{tbt}