"I'd be more of a morning person,
If I got to wake up next to you."
Instead of slapping my alarm until it shuts up,
And dragging myself into the shower,
I'd roll over,
And look into your eyes.
Just laying there...
Staring and forgetting the rest of the world.
You'd smile and say "Good morning!"
Yes... A very good morning.

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZ!
I roll over to state at my pillow.
"One day..." I say as I hit my alarm clock until the buzzing stops.
I hop out of bed and trudge into the bathroom
I study myself in the mirror.
Frizzy hair...
Plain pajamas...
I continue to stare.
"...Good morning..." I say to my reflection.

And the word 'no' only makes me want it more.

It was stupid.
So stupid.

My whole life, I'd been hoping that this dream would come true. Through the toughest of times, I'd tell myself "It's okay, someday..."

But what am I supposed to do now?
Dreams of 'someday' lay shattered on the kitchen counter.
I want to disappear.

Shot down by those who were supposed to support me.

Never once did it cross my mind that they were all lying. Never.

But who are we kidding?
Little girl with a big idea.

And that's all it'll ever be.
*An idea.

I really want out,
But I'm terrified of what lies ahead.

I just want to be good enough at something or good enough for someone.

That's all.

This means so much more to me than it does to you. All my life, this is all I've ever wanted, but to you it's just a hobby.

Here's my chance.

"Can I go?"
"We'll talk about it tomorrow."

But I know you.
That means no.

There goes my chance.

This isn't fair.
You use to call me your caterpillar.
But I've grown up, so let me fly.

I don't sleep at night.
I'm stuck on a one way street to failure,
And I stay up wondering, how can I turn this around?

*How can I turn this around.