You can have him.
Even though I like him a lot, probably more than you, he doesn't like me. He likes you. So you can have him...I guess.
You can have him, because with you, he'd be happy.
I like it when he's happy.
I know it seems unfair to me, but life isn't fair. I never come out on top with this kind of thing, so what made this time different?  
Maybe it was his smile.
Maybe it was his laugh.
Maybe it was that he'd actually want to talk to me...
But it was only to get closer to you...As it always is.
So you can have him.
At least one of us can be happy...

Today started bad, but ended better.
Waking up from my half-slumber in Social Studies,
I was remind that I don't have to be perfect, I have to be me.
It's weird because we focus on those who don't accept us, trying to change to fit their standards, but we don't realize the wonderful people who do.

Do what you love,
Chase what matters,
And always be yourself.

And you'd tell me everything.
You'd let me in on the deepest, winding secrets of your mind. The dark twisted paths that sometimes dead ended or continued for eternity. You brought me to the places that smelled musty of old memories and to ever going trains of thought.

And you'd tell me everything.
Big things, little things, anything you wanted to,
And I was more than happy to listen.

It makes me half-way-cringe to say it,
But I'm not really good at much...

The little girl who could be whatever she wanted. Where did she go, where did she go?

And this feeling- it's a choking sensation. It's this feeling of being held back.
Helplessness.
Trudging through each day, regretfully awaiting the next, I try and I try, but can't seem to care, can't seem to improve.
My opinion is no longer valid and I am no longer allowed to do what I love. I no longer have control.

What I love vs. What I should do

I hold my breath when he isn't around,
But I don't breathe when he's near.

I know that nothing will feel sweeter than that long, well deserved release.

But until then,
I need to survive the suffocation.

I like him,
He likes her,
She likes him.

I should just get out of the way...