Fishing for knowledge in my never settling boat.
Waiting for a big catch while reeling in another low.
Need to find the right fish to feed my growth
so I can keep rowing my never settling boat.

Skating on thin ice my whole life like a figureskater.
First price on sight but the stripes, resembles a broken picture.

A golddigger... Go figure.
Writing straight from my heart so every bar tender. I remember a night in december,
from a walk in the park to a shot in the dark, I wasnt that cleaver.
Pretended to be concious and smart but now the scars on my arms shows that Im a beginner.
Sober for 3 years yet addicted to your liquor.
Sparked my transmitter when ladys slipper fell off after our first dinner,
But I never knew cinderella was a heavy hitter.
Couldnt connect the dots so now im on the ground with seven stars above my head like I got hit with the big dipper.

PTSD...
But **** all the modesty, I just need honesty...
My writtens a blasphemy (blast for me) but I can't be myself anymore like broken prophecy so God,
accept my apology, beacuse there's a monster inside of me that produces sick thoughts like it knew biology.


Some might say im insane but **** my brain, my heart is always by my side. Deranged thoughts but love tells me when its a lie.
So stay in my lane and embrace the fact that we all are going to die or live to busy and miss the heartbeat that takes you to the otherside.

He de-seeded himself into three pieces and proceeded to grow a tree of decieving, you see.
One seed of the tree was greed, so all it would breed was to feed our needs.
Once we used up all its weeds we decided to dig deep to see what this tree was hiding.
There it was, all along infront of our eyelids.
The roots of this tree grew in all directions endlessly.
How could this be?
One seed for greed, one seed for achieving infinity..?
And for the third, I (eye) tried to see through the mystery of the last seed I collected all the ingredients to cook up the last grand meal.
Stirring it I caught a quick wiff of its essence and for a mere second I felt free, I acknowledged the knowledge of being me.
My brain was introduced to DMT and I also knew the signifigance of the truth, now I knew what I had to do.
Convinced of the truth but I still follow all your rules, im not insane I wouldnt go blow up a school but I swear, latley my brain been telling me, only options I have is to accept my destiny or change it by a killing spree.
I know you are testing me but how am I supposed to enjoy this beautiful scenery if I cant even get this stress of my chest so I can rest again peacefully.
I knew I owe my soul to this tree for the knowledge its giving me.
I try to hold on to my memories but as its leaves they fall eventually...
It kills me everyday, living, knowing its not for me.. not for me...

The constellation of Leo I manifested through.
Ever since my birth my heart belonged to you...

Caught in the endless loop since Its inception but perfection made me move,
Now behind the fabric of deception I see the truth, Its so tragic. They've hidden her, my Aquaris.
In the womb of Atlantis.

Ugh..
Thats just how my story goes, you could of just said sorry. I would've accepted your apologys.
Now they ought to put me in orange clothes.

Ready for adventure but our relation forced me to stay at home.
Deja vu when your psycopathic needs reminded me of places from before.
I've been taking detour after detour only to meet ****** that changed my lore to eeyores.
Now I daydream to feel free,
or cry to let of steam because It seems that memories is the only thing that means anything to me anymore.

There's no more purpose to act ******* the surface my life is worthless.
In fact. The shortest straw is in my hand because I always allow myself to draw last
and no matter how many sticks I gather from my past I still cant seem to reach the camels back.

My fire that burned with the disire of hope is now learning its becoming nothing else than smoke.
Translucent like a ghost..
Everyone came to see my roast where God attended as the host.
Reviewing my life while everyone laughs like its some sort of a big joke...

"Static on the line"
I lose my senses,
destined for greatness while stuck in this place where,
intelligence is replaced with penmanship.

"Lost connection"
Getting faded,
all familiar faces turns to agents like im Neo stuck in the matrix...

"No motivation.."
To fight this war myself and get through all this **** for my freedom like shawshankredemption.

"Mind constipation.."
Caught in the web of Jezabel,
Cant think over the ring of the dinnerbell.

"Losing patience.."
Stared her dead in the eyes but all she saw was her reflection.