-- on the real things ....

                                      ••

lost train
the fog of night and the barren dreams

//

( wanting a lover ---- !

                           you ( ? ) )

who could believe

//

The eerie silence

::

In the shadows over there

( over by the side -- where reality

Is hidden )

•

Keepin things simple

( truth must be -- found )

••

The lost train

||

the hungry children

//

The dying humanity

//

//

Poets !  Poets !

On the street

//

Looking for strays

//

Rotting fruit in the gutter

//

Something to eat

I feel like I'm dying, from the inside out and i am constantly aware that it's happening but i can't feel it because it hurts too much.

Embers burn and they burn out. That's what the pain will feel like. The embers burning at their peak. But eventually, they burn out like candles blow out. And that's what moving on from you feels like.
It feels wrong and unfinished. It feels unnatural. Like a growth, a mass, a tumour. Like a halfway-paved walk or an unfinished sentence.

But my memories of you will never be chipped from my mind like slamming a ceramic mug onto the tabletop. You've ingrained yourself in every ****** movement I make and I don't know how to make it stop. Because I don't want to forget. I can't forget. I need you because you make me feel real. You make me feel like I matter. And that's the worst thing you could've ever done to me.

Because when you walked away, I lost a huge part of me. I lost a chunk of who I was, who I could be.

"How do you feel?"
"Does it matter? It doesn't change anything."

Because that vacant look in your eye was the last memory of you that I have. The distance.

"Whether it matters or not is not the point."
"I love you."

Because the first time I said it, would be the last time you'd hear it. It's been 10 days since then. And 28 since you stopped caring. It's been 3 years and 4 months since we first met. But a day has not gone by when my heart doesn't hurt because you're no longer here.

You said that you'd never leave me.
And you lied.
You said you cared about me.
And you lied.

You said I could always count on you.
And you lied.
You said you'd never let me go.
And you lied.

You said you loved me.
And you lied.
You said I could trust you.
And you lied.

But I believed you.
I believed in you.
I believed because of you.
I don't know what to believe anymore.

A stumbling hurricane into a newly made up home.
I set roots and you tore me out of the ground.
I held your hand, and you let go.
I shouldn't have let you hold me on the way home.
I shouldn't have let you touch me when my heart hurt.

But I did.
I did and you held me.
I did and you broke me.

You broke me.

//\//\//\
       //     \
       \      /
      ------!    !----
     //                        \
// \     //  //    /\   //\    //\   ♥      /\     //^\   \  
^// \   /\  //  ^ /\/ /\ ^^ //\        //\^^                               //\//\     ^^      //\       ^^    //\/\//\
close enough for you to touch
but careful if you try
she will burn down oh so much
she will make you sigh
she will blister skin and bone
catch you with a lie
she will take and not atone
baby you will fry
she will keep you in a trance
while your end is nigh
with her in the flames you'll dance

in the end you'll die


soulsurvivor
(c) 6/11/2015

She lives for the mornings
when all is beginnings
She lives for the evenings
when all is endings

She slogs through her
days
dazed
and
numb
no words rhyme
no lover comes,
her morning songs are sung
in baptismal
daily showers,
her dreams are
strewn in patterns
on curtains
in warm night winds blowing,
she sings again when the
nightbirds
sing.

Her mornings are
hopeful
Her nights are
resolved
Her games are
played at noon.

If she looks you straight in the
eyes
you'll know too soon,
She knows everything about you.

Her words will
come when they are ready,
Her beginnings are short
Her endings are long
like the night

Lady of the morning
Lady of the night
I will be beside you
when you finally decide
to take flight.

Light and darkness
while in her day
she pretends
as
she moves along
in
her own way.