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am i ee Feb 2016
fear......

gnawing at me
at night,
as i wake
long before
light.

why?!

what is there
to fear?

wandering through
life, watching
fear at every turn.

small wonder
people are
so timid,
so cynical,
so angry,
so afraid.

does a gun
chase it away?

do all the locks
and screenings
keep it at bay?

loud voices,
TV, internet
print, radio
only scream out..
BE AFRAID

schools locked up
tight...

can you keep
fear out?

schooling an entire
generation in
paranoia &
visceral fear

oh how welcome
the drugs become.
bandaids for
imaginary monsters
and goblins
and immigrants.

don't look in.
why, believe
all the spin.

make yourself ill
worrying & hurrying.
running and hiding.

nothing can ever
save you,
nothing can ever
protect you,
but your own
mind,
your very
own perspective.

give into the
fear monger ers,
might as well
give up the fight.

what sort of life
it is to
live with
fear gnawing
at your gut and
heart,

every night
and
every day?
am i ee Feb 2016
sitting in this mass of humanity
recalibrating.

sorrows unfolding
joys riping.

easy to judge
easy to dismiss.

difficult to be
compassionate.

difficult to see
everyone as yourself.

the illusion
shifting & changing.

tears and laughter
that is all one can do.

ever the duality
of nature.

ever following
natural laws.

resisting,
going against the flow.

only brings struggle
and difficulty.

surrendering to
it all.

moving along
in the flow.

breath comes
easy.

breath comes
deeply.

softening a
stance.

understanding a
glance.

easing your heart
melting your hurt.

the sun shines above
the pine trees sway in the breeze.

all moves along
as it is meant to be.
am i ee Feb 2016
how many do you wear?
do you even know that
you are wearing them?

can you see through all
the other masks?

or does it become a confusion
you cannot extricate yourself
from?

entertaining the thought
that you have many masks
is a beginning.

which ones bring you strength?
truth?
peace?
equanimity?

which ones pull you
deep into delusion?
lost in casting yourself as
a victim?

lost in hedonistic pleasure?
seemingly fun... but
at its core
suffering in another
mask....

chasing highs
never stopping
never going inward
never finding the silence

living in fear
attracting spirits
that feed off of fear.

how to climb out?

a practice lived with
great faith
a practice lived with
great doubt

great motivation
ensues

truth revealed
bliss realized.
am i ee Feb 2016
waking to white falling
cold flakes
white & each unique

weariness plucks at my
heart
another day?

another way?

serene beauty
balm to a restless
soul

what are we here for?
is there ever an answer
that will stay?

questions
shifting & changing
answers too.

motion & stillness
happy & sad
love & hate

only mother nature
feeds the soul
these days.

drawing back
drawing away
from the illusory play.

deep winter
don't leave me yet...
it has been too short.

i need such deep rest.

lingering in her dark
womb
resting

mother nature,
don't hurry
the sunlight.

plants asleep under
the ground
i sleep with you.

alone and still
peace
reigns

so many wish
for spring
me...

i'll stay here
in winter
again & again....
am i ee Feb 2016
cold cold  night

how i love you

nothing more

but that
i said
am i ee Feb 2016
duality isn't what it seems
the illusion tricking
one

drawing one in
what is real
what is the delusion

pulled back and
forth

how am i to tell?

tears fall
pain sears

is this really it?

nah...

quiet time
spent alone

reality
raises itself

silly silly you
did you really
fall for that

all over again???

don't stop laughing
it is all happening
again & again
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