I think about you all the time,
Thoughts of you fill my mind,
I wonder if you're thinking of me too,
Or if it's just me,
Thinking of you?

I remember every word you say,
Our convisations are on constant replay,
And all i want to know,
Is are you remembering me too,
Or am i wasteing my time remembering you?

I wish that i could touch your skin,
Taste your lips,
Hold you close,
But you're just too far away,
The distance makes my heart break,
But what i really need to know,
Is dose the distance break your heart too?

You've cut her,
bit her,
stabbed her in the back,
You've dragged her down,
Burried her deep,
So,
Are you happy now?

Kick her in the guts,
Throw dirt in her eyes,
Now there is no more suprise,
Every thing you do,
It's expected,
Nothing's new,
What happened to you?

You hurt her,
Skinned her,
Stripped her to her bones,
Yet still you aren't through,
You've still got further to go,
And all i want to know is,
Are you happy now?

Sitting at my desk,
Three candles burning lighting this space,
Smells of vanilla, caramel and chocolate fill the room,
So sweet and delicious it makes me want to fall asleep.

I sit there turning a knife in my hands,
Feeling its point,
Running my fingers over its sharp edge,
Wondering if i can trust myself,
Not to do the one thing thats so tempting.

Just one cut,
Its all i want,
Too see my blood and feel the pain,
Release all the things that are driving me insane,
I could say it was a accident,
I slipped and cut my self,
I wouldn't be to blame.

I put away the knife,
My cravings for pain are becoming to unbearable,
So i get out my lighter,
And i just sit there, in the middle of the room,
Lights off,
Candles lit,
Watching the flames,
I get another idea for pain.

Mother would know it was just an accident,
Because of my phobia of burning alive,
Little dose she know that phobia died,
I sit and think about camp,
When i fell back into the foam pit from the hight bars,
It was so peaceful,
I wish i could do it again,
Just free fall into nothing.

I finally snap back to reality,
Turning on the lighter,
I just take a second to stare,
Then i move the flame to my leg,
Holding it just above my skin,
Feeling the heat,
It feels amazing,
Like that one fire is reaching into my body,
And pulling out my every emotion.

My body feels like its been lit ablaze,
But it doesn't quite satisfy me,
I long for the feeling of the point of a blade on my skin,
Trying not to surrender,
I put the lighter away and blow out the candles,
I lay on the floor,
Taking in the darkness,
Imagining being buried alive,
Trying to feel that moment when you take your last breath,
Trying to let go and leave peacefully,
Trying not to fight for air,
Just letting go.

I finally fell asleep,
Having finally defeat,
My craving to cut,
My longing to bleed,
My thirst for something to **** the pain.

Darkness is now my secret elixir,
Smothering me alive.

I'm trying to stop,
Hiding behind insecurities,
And living between two families,
But saying good bye,
And changing my ways,
Is a scary thought that makes me cry,
Not from actual fright,
But from an over powering anxiety,
I wish it'd just go away,
Leave me alone,
(NOT FINISHED)

My emotions clouded my better judgement,
I allowed my self to believe every lie,
And you fed them all to me,
Like chocolate cake and caramel pie,
Rich and sweet,
But bad as can be,
You asked me to jump,
And i said how high,
You wanted me to reach,
All the way to the sky...

You wanted me to believe,
Everything you said to me,
So i did until it became too hard to breathe,
He was a hero,
Saving me from you,
He showed me the truth,
And he even had proof,
But you swore on your life,
It wasn't a lie,
And slowly you two tore me apart,
Inside.

But now i know what is real,
My emotions have cleared away,
And finally revealed,
I can finally see you,
Its all crystal clear,
He is the hero,
You are the lie,
Poisoning my heart,
So I'd believe your disguise.

You faked some heart ache,
And a tear or two,
And i was silly enough
To feel bad for you,
You made me believe,
You trusted me,
And that you actually,
Liked me too,
But mate now that i can see,
I know you are completely see though.

Now my dear,
I am sorry to say,
This is going to end,
My way,
I can't trust you,
No not any more,
Because now i fear,
I am still broken,
I am still torn,
And maybe I'm weak,
Weak enough to believe another one of your lies,
After all they are as rich and as sweet,
As chocolate cake and caramel pie.

So hush now babe,
This is my final good-bye,
Just thought i'd let you know,
You are kinda lame,
And its sad,
Because you'll never change,
So goodbye i won't be back,
It's time to get my life,
Back on track...

Daddy just left,
And Mum is mad,
Holey crap now I'm sad,
Turn on the radio,
Crank up the sound,
All the way up until its too loud,
No one to hear you scream,
When you reach the point of no turning back,
Time to die,
Too late for goodbyes,
What to say?
Maybe something cliché,
Scribble it down,
'Goodbye cruel world,'
Shove away all regret,
Take your last breath,
Breathe in deep,
Watch your blood bleed....

Mother walks in,
Just before you leave,
Tears in her eyes,
All she wants to know is why,
Too late to explain,
But you'll finally be free,
Free from the tears,
Say goodbye to the pain,
That was your aim...

Music in your mind,
As you slip away from the world,
Your favourite song,
Was the last thing you heard,
I loved that sweet melody,
To hear it as i fell asleep for eternity,
Was all i could have ever asked for,
And now as my ghost looks down on me,
It's listening to the last of my sweet song,
The first song i fell in love with,
And the last music to my ears,
This is dragging on too long,
So goodbye cruel world,
I had some amazing years.

i got some guts and leapt into the unknown,
and now i'm scared you'll leave me alone,
i asked you a question and you left me with no answer,
and now i wounder if i'm even worth one....

i'm so confused,
getting dragged into a sudden blues,
all the signs were there,
i really thought you cared,
maybe i just read you wrong,
but you made me feel like i belonged...

you made me smile
when i was about to cry,
you made me laugh
when i thought i had died.....

now i need an answer,
or i'll always wonder,
if i had done this differently,
would you have said yes to me????