i cried today because
i looked in the mirror
and didn't like what
was looking back at me

In two hours
I will be happy
For an hour.
But in three
I will get back
To being
Unhappy.


F.Z.**N

When did it stop? Did you stop loving me when I couldn't speak cause my throat was so tight from screaming in my dreams? Did you stop caring when I threw the sheets over my head because I didnt want you to see me crying? Did you stop loving me when I talked about my past and my future? Did you'd wish I'd just shut up? Did you still love me when you held my head in your hands and kissed my forehead and said "this love will never end"? Did you still love me when you showed up with messy hair and flowers in your hand? What about that time we walked through the park with our fingers intertwined and you said "although the sky is grey, the color in your mind colors the whole sky"? When did you stop loving me? When I couldn't get out of bed in the morning because love just wasn't enough strength to keep going? Was it when you left for a vacation with your parents cause they wanted you to think about your future? Was it because maybe I wasn't apart of that future? You said till the end. I didnt know that the end was a month ago, I thought the end was when I was dead. But now im barely breathing, so I might as well just be on my death bed. When did it stop?

Its dark
My fears are back
Will they o'er take me?
Or will I survive?
Is that a monster?
Or are my eyes heavy?
Though I cannot see
My mares appear to me
But I have hope
That the light would soon come
At the break of dawn
And then I'll be free
But for now
Its still dark