try to imagine
your own death

at first
your mind just balks
at the idea

but once you concentrate
you may get puzzled
at the endless opportunities
you have
  of dying

warming to the subject now
images start flitting through your mind
like you were flipping TV channels

you see yourself dead
  with a trickling bullet wound
  in some dark street
  victim of street crime unpredictable

or have a vision
of a scene of accident
where white-clad helpers
carry a distorted body
to a waiting van
in vain

or you are in a clinic
rigged to electronic gear
the nurses look discouraged
slowing beeps
flattening curves on monitors
and you feel darkness creeping in

or you blow-dry your hair
with the old dryer
and the bathroom floor
is just a little bit
too wet

a plane falls from the sky
in a fireball

a stone gives on the mountain path

you ski into whiteness

the railing breaks

lightening flashes

a snake bites

what.... -

all of a sudden
  options explode
your mind reels from the truth
that death is all around
in infinite variety
and may be yours

now

or a second later

imagine

The streets are talking
but you're too dumb to listen
every sidewalk has a story
but not all of them are written
like that guy begging outside Walgreens
he was once an army lieutenant until
he was ******* over by mental disease
she used to be a doctor,
now she always works nights
letting people inside for money for her kids
so don't judge anybody on sight

when someone says they'll do anything for you
they're lying
unless they want to quit every second but don't as
they're crying
inside at the mere thought of letting you down while
they're dying
because they want to see you live life like you should

there is a time
when love is
    shades of blue
    azure and cobalt of old lakes and seas
under long shadows of the morning sun
painting the sky in rose-rimmed lapislazuli

i don't know what to do
i've forced myself to hide
from commitment and
push away the thought
of love and i can't even
make myself feel worthy
of a relationship anymore
god help me i wish i could
fix what i've done but the
damage is too great