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Confession
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘨𝘦,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳.
𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘯,
𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥.
𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘴,
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮
𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥.
𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴,
𝘒𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨,
𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩,
𝘑𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 —
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳...
23.03.2025, by Soldat Amanov
Life feels heavy —
as if I lack the strength to carry on.
Loneliness demands it so;
I've grown used to fleeing from what's real.

I watch others live their love-filled lives —
but it's never enough.
My body aches for it,
and so does my soul — to love, to be loved.

Yet still, a spark glows deep within,
flowers bloom in my heart,
whispering softly:
Spring is near.

And the scent of those blossoms —
it reminds me of you.
I think we fit, like verses in rhyme —
have you ever felt it too,
when you looked at us from the outside?

I saw you first from afar —
one glance, and my heart was already racing.
I fell for your eyes right then and there,
on M.M. Street, number twenty-seven.

I took a photo of that moment,
the place where we first met —
it still lives in my gallery.
And maybe, one day,
if I write a song,
I’ll make it the art cover — meaningful and true.

Since you,
everything around me has blossomed —
flowers in my chest,
butterflies in my stomach,
seeds of something new scattered everywhere.

If Spinoza had seen you,
he wouldn’t say “God is in all,”
but rather, “God is only in you.”

I want you to want me,
the way I want you —
with all the love I've yet to give.
30.07.2025, by Shamsaddin Amanov

— The End —