Wrapped like candy in your skull
the skin crawling off the bone,  
exposing your white lie life.

"You'll end up the same as him, you know."

His cigarette burnt the faded complications of my life.

"Yeah. I know."

i miss you
and then i remember
you broke me first.

i’m  m i s e r a b l e  in your arms
especially when they’re this far
& i know that’s contradicting
i know that doesn’t say if i love you or not
'cause honestly
i don’t know if i love you            or not.
maybe if you were more sunshine than rainy night skies
i wouldn’t feel the need to entertain all these lies.
in my head it’s darker than my skin
& my heart? you’ll  n e v e r  get in
cause it doesn’t belong to me
she has it wrapped around her finger
                                                  it’s hers
                                 just like this poem
                   just like my life
& if i could
i’d probably let her go
if i could
i’d probably find a decent way to love you in a perspective you’ve never known
but i can’t.
i just-
i can’t
& it’s not your fault, believe me
but she's just
she's    e v e r y t h i n g    
& how could you ever compete?
& how could i ever make you?
simple answer: i can’t.
complicated answer: there's a radio in a car somewhere singing her name & even though it’s not my car, my radio does the    exact    same.
but
i’ll put spaces between us & hope it’s enough
i’ll put spaces between   u   s   & hope it’s enough
even though i know it’ll never be
because her? she's it for me
she's-
she's  e v e r y t h i n g .

i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
a mix that has kept me alive for far too long.
i’ve barely slept,
i want you to kiss me until our lips are bruised and touch me hard enough that traces of your fingertips can still be seen on my skin.
i’ve barely slept,
i miss the feeling of someone’s mouth on my neck,
the feeling of gentle kisses starting at my collarbone and falling lower and lower and lower.
i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
when what i really need is to find my relief in you.

there was no escape
your soul bewitched mine
the instant our eyes met
on velvet nights
our bodies bled into one,
moonlight kissing flesh
a love so full of fire
the stars themselves
faced inwards to watch
our nightly worship.