she is a happy ending,
not everyone can wait for.

please understand that i text you, not to annoy you; i only want you to know that i'm still here,

even if you make it feel like i am not

you might not
have been my first love
but you were the one
who hurt the most.

i have realised
why it still hurts so much;
i have too many words
inside my head,
to describe the way my heart
burst from my chest
the moment we met.
too many memories
of your fingertips
tracing the curve of my hips,
keeping me up at night.

you were the sunburn i waited all winter for

i thought i could let you go,
yet you pour out of me
each time i pick up this pen.
i guess i just wanted
to love you
a little
l o n g e r.

she kisses me & my body explodes
& she knows she knows she knows
she can sense that i love her.
i don't say the words at first
we just sit in her car and talk about what it's like being this hurt
& she holds me in her sweet little hands
& i choke down all these words because i don't want this night to end.
her eyes always see more than i'd like for her to know
she's an open book filled with blank pages because i'm getting too close
after tonight, she'll close off again
after tonight, her book will be locked
after tonight, she’ll forget that i love her
i’ll be expected to do the same
& i probably will do what she asks
but tonight, i'm allowed to love her
because just for tonight, she loves me back.